Texas Tea - Post Malone

For My Broken Heart

She has always attended family events. Always put her shit aside to ensure she is fully available for her parents or sister. She would hope they would have seen her actions as unusual and have been a little worried. But, they are not. They are just pissed off and sure to let her know. She silences her phone when it rings again, this time with her sister's name flashing. She should tell her what's going on but she doubts she will get a comforting word. She walks to her kitchen and grabs a bottle of wine from the fridge then scratches around the drawers for a corkscrew and frowns when her phone rings again. It's an unknown number. She stares at her phone until it stops ringing then watches a message come through, also from an unknown number, apologizing for cheating on her. Luke must have gotten hold of a new number. So much for blocking his number. She blocks this number too, but knows he will just get another one and call her off that.

She sighs and uncorks the wine bottle then groans and contemplates throwing her phone against the wall just to get it to stop. But, that won't solve anything as she will have to face Luke eventually. Every dam day. All day. Maybe she should quit and apply for a new school. She gives up searching for a wine glass and opens her back door. She needs out of this house and she needs fresh air. It won't help but what else can she do?  She places her phone on her patio table, propped up on the vase in the middle, and then sits down.

She sips from her bottle of wine as she watches her phone flash with a new unknown number and countless messages roll in. It does not stop. You would think Luke would get the message that she does not want to speak to him. That she needs space. He does not. Maybe she should just answer him, tell him to give her some time and they can talk later. She does not want to talk later though. She reaches forward and sticks her finger out, hovering it over the green answer button.

"Don't cave now, sugar."

She turns and sees the cowboy standing in his backyard looking at her through the Emerald Cedar trees that divide their backyards. She had put them in because she liked how they looked like little soldiers. They are planted a meter apart so they do nothing but indicate the borders to their properties.

"He won't stop calling," she says as if he has a solution. "Turn your phone off," he says. That's a logical suggestion. Why didn't she think of that? She reaches forward and turns her phone off. "I'm not...I have my life together," she says. Why did she feel the need to say that? "I ain't judgin'," he says turning around and sitting down with his back to her on his patio. She watches as he throws a log on the fire in front of him and then leans back on his chair as he picks up a guitar, pulling on the strings softly and then stopping.

She hears a grunt at the bottom of his garden then watches with big eyes as a huge pig the size of a small fat horse waddles out of a bush at the bottom of the garden. The pig waddles up his yard toward him then huffs up his patio steps and finally flops onto its side next to his chair. She watches him reach out and pat the pig then lean back in his chair. Curiosity gets the better of her and so she stands, hops off her patio, and walks through the Emerald Cedars. She creeps closer until she is standing at the bottom of his patio steps. The cowboy looks at her through the corner of his eye, a soft knowing smile on his lips.

"Miss Daisy. My best girl," he says. Indy leans forward and reaches out her hand to touch it but she stops. She does not know how friendly Daisy is. "She won't bite, darlin'," he says. Indy bites her lip then lets her hand sink and touches Miss Daisy. Miss Daisy grunts but does nothing else as Indy strokes her. "She is sweet," she says eventually.

"Aye. That she is."

She stands and looks at him, offering him a small smile, and then turns to walk back to her patio. "Darlin," the cowboy mumbles, stopping her. She looks back at him. He points to the chair on the other side of the fire opposite his. There is a plate of food on the armrest and a glass of what looks like whisky next to it. "Thank you...but I don't feel like talking," she whispers. "No one is askin' you to talk. Just eat," he says, running his fingers over the strings of his guitar again. Indy bites her lip. What else is she going to do? Wallow in self-pity in a house she does not want to be in?  Might as well wallow in self-pity with a man she does not know. Also, she has not realized how hungry she is till now.

She walks up the patio steps and settles into the chair. It's warm by the fire and the air around her brings a sudden feeling of comfort to her now that the cold feeling in her house does not. She is mad at that. She loves her home. It had always felt like a haven. A place to hide away from the world. But, now it feels tainted and marred. She hates Luke for doing that to her house. She pushes the food around on the plate with her fork, it smells good, but she does not know how she is going to stomach it.

"Ain't nothin' betta to heal a painful heart than my Mama's stew."

Indy looks across the fire at him and then looks into his house. "You live with your mother?" she asks. The cowboy laughs and shakes his head. "I love my Mama, but the woman drives me up the wall with her fussin'. I do not live with her."

"But, your Mama's stew," Indy says meekly, pointing at the stew. The cowboy smiles at her. It's a soft fond smile. The type that makes everything feel like it's going to be ok. Like a little bit of magic. "My Mama has five bullish sons and a mulish husband...it's a family trait. She runs her house with a kind heart and a sturdy hand. We were all taught to take care of ourselves, to cook, to keep a clean home...to honor the woman at our sides. It's her stew, but I cooked it myself," he says taking a sip from his whisky glass. Indy stares at him then picks up her glass and takes a sip. It burns going down and she can feel the whisky spread across the inside of her chest and warm her painful insides. It feels good.

"What is your name?"

"Austin. But, people back home call me Texas."

"Why?"

"It's my only flaw."

She does not understand what he means. But, her brain is not working at full capacity. She lifts her fork and stabs a piece of meat then puts it in her mouth. It's good and her stomach growls for more so she chews and swallows then stabs another piece of meat. He was not wrong, the food does bring a sense of comfort. "Thank you...for everything," she whispers as she eats slowly, not having the courage to look at him. She is embarrassed by the events of today. Embarrassed that she had been blind to what Lule was for so long and embarrassed now that she can't even get her shit together and has gone into mourning like a pathetic widow. Austin does not answer her but she hears him shift and then hears the gentle strummings of his guitar. Her breath hitched when she hears his raspy voice floating softly over the sounds of his guitar.

There were no angry words at all
As we carried boxes down the hall
One by one, we put them in your car
Nothing much for us to say
One last goodbye and you drove away
I watched your tail lights
As they faded in the dark
I couldn't face the night in that lonely bed
So I laid down on the couch instead
Last night I prayed to the Lord my soul to keep
Then I cried myself to sleep
So sure life wouldn't go on without you
But oh, this sun is blinding me
As it wakes me from the dark
I guess the world didn't stop
For my broken heart
The clock's still tickin', life goes on
The radio still plays a song
As I try to put my scattered thoughts in place
And it takes all the strength I've got
To stumble to the coffee pot
The first of many lonely mornings
I've had to face
You call to see if I'm okay
I look out the window and I just say
Last night I prayed to the Lord my soul to keep
Then I cried myself to sleep
So sure life wouldn't go on without you
Lord, this sun is blinding me
As it wakes me from the dark
I guess the world didn't stop
For my broken heart
Oh, I guess the world ain't gonna stop
For my broken heart