Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

8

       Ronnie Anne stands before tens of city administrators, legal counselors, constituent services staff, and a communications director. No average citizen was allowed in the room, and no matter what, nobody was to discuss anything they would talk about today with anyone. What's said in the room will stay in the room, and that's exactly what Ronnie Anne demanded of them. "All of you, I need to bring forward an issue that has arisen unexpectedly. I've found out that our secretary of this office was kidnapped by a vampire." They all started chatting amongst themselves. "A vampire? Like the ones that attacked the town hall?" one man asked another. "I swear to God, this better be some sort of joke" an elderly woman exclaimed. "Please, everybody, listen! The vampire approached me and vocalized a set of terms, of which if we fulfilled his requests, he would release her at once. He requested... the address of every priest in the boundaries of our town." The room was outraged. People were throwing over their chairs and shouting. "How do you know he's telling the truth? He'll probably just suck the priests bone-dry, and then come after us next! What's stopping them?!" Ronnie winced and cringed after each person shrieked a new concern, but she attempted to stay calm and reasoned with them. "I don't know. That's why I'm bringing the issue to you all. I want the opinion of our town's people."

       "We get attacked, and now we're giving them our people to kill?! Are you crazy?!" someone shouts. "No. Nothing is happening yet. We're putting it to a vote. This a democracy, is it not? Now, raise your hand if you think we should give them the priests' addresses." Nobody raises their hand, except for one man in the corner. He's wearing a long black coat that drops below his ankles, and a black hat with a very wide brim that gives him the appearance of a cowboy. Everybody turns to him and they are ready to anger. The man retrieves a cigarette from his pocket and sticks it between his teeth. "I think we could give up a few priests. They don't have a real job to do anyway" he says. His voice was gruff and sounded as if it was being scraped out of him. "Why don't we stick an apple in your mouth, Mayor, and serve you up to those bloodsuckers? Or, better idea: Let me take the reins of this whole situation." Ronnie Anne was intrigued, confused, and scared, so she called him forward. "Come up front here to the podium. You may propose your solution. This is an open forum, after all."

He walks to the front at a snail's pace, taking his time, and settling behind the podium. He taps the microphone to test it, and a loud screech of feedback confirms its capability. "I should introduce myself. My name is Helsing and I am a man of business. I think I am more qualified to tackle this issue than anyone, and the reason is, that I am a certified vampire hunter. I travel the globe slaughtering and staking vampire after vampire and leaving nothing behind but their ash. I've killed hundreds—maybe even thousands of vampires. I always carry on me the proper tools and weaponry to ensure my safety and their demise. With such experience, I think it's only logical that I shall be appointed as the lead director of this room. I will work dutifully and honorably, and I will make sure that none of you—not one person in this town—will see a goddamn vampire ever again."

       This arose nothing but agitation and suspicion. Some were even starting to suspect this gothic gunslinger to be a vampire himself. "If any of you have concerns," he said, "voice them now." The communications director stands and dusts off his coat. "Sir, if we really were to appoint you, then what would be your first action?" He smiled and clapped in a slow, sarcastic manner. "Very clever question. If I were given a powerful rank in this local government, my first action would be reconnaissance: Locating the enemy and where they hang out. I would try to determine if any vampires were also working with the one that is threatening us currently. As far as we know, this fanged bastard who took your secretary is the only one involved. However, I don't have to explore your town to tell you that more vamps reside here. It's a question of how many of them are in on this deal." The crowd was still bickering with each other, scolding their neighbors for agreeing or disagreeing with what the man was saying. Ronnie, quiet and focused, was keen on listening. "And do you have proof?" she asks him. "Do you have proof that you've killed those 'hundreds' of vampires?" He laughs, and says "Excuse me for one moment." He walks out of the room, people still infuriated and arguing, and returns with a large brown crate. He sets it down next to the podium. He goes to open it, but before he does, he warns: "If you have a weak stomach, you might want to look away." After he pries open the top, a mound of decapitated heads becomes visible.