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( FAYE )
i can't bear to leave my bed. this room, once filled with the warmth of a homely feeling, is just tainted now.
my throat aches from holding back tears, my anger simmered beneath the surface. there's no way i can face the world outside.
i've been locked in my room since last night, the muffled sounds of everyone leaving burnt into the back of my mind.
i ruined christmas. i ruined finns party.
hunger gnaws at my stomach, but i have no appetite. even the thought of food feels foreign.
the world feels like a grayscale painting, and i just want to drown myself in its muted colors, away from reality.
finn tried to talk to me, his voice a distant murmur from behind my bedroom door.
i regret avoiding him, but it's the only thing i could do.
i need space to process, to reconcile everything i'm experiencing. the anger weighs me down, and yet i can't confront either of them.
my phone sits beside me, unattended, blinking with missed messages and calls from the two people that deserve none of my attention.
i long for an escape, a way to release this heavy feeling, to leave behind these tainted walls. yet, the thought of leaving this house brings along more fear than freedom.
the walls of my room offer a cocoon of protection, a space where i can pretend the outside world doesn't exist.
i just feel like the world is against me.
but honestly, can i blame it?
i'm mad at myself. i have a major fault in this for trying to build something with the girl who my ex girlfriend was seeing behind my back.
it's insane, i'm insane and i deserve this.
— ★ —
i finally leave my room, the anger guiding my legs as i storm into the kitchen with frustration bubbling beneath my skin.
my eyes immediately land on finn, finding him with an anxious expression on the couch.
"faye" he stands up, walking towards me. "are you okay? whats-"
