Why Even Try (Book 1 of 4)

Chapter 23 - I Know You Care, But...

"Really? What happened to what you said about not intentionally hurting me?" I ask. "And you are the one who decided that I needed to rest...not me."

"I guess there is a caveat to my statement, then " he begins, "my actions may end up hurting you, if it is the best way to avoid you hurting yourself or getting injured further. I cannot allow you to roam about the palace as you would under normal circumstances and risk you injuring yourself or allowing the buffoon Cedrin to hurt you."

"Loki," I start.

Our fight escalates and eventually after my continued demands he take me back to my rooms. My mother meets us there and she witnesses the last few moments of our fight.

"Just leave Loki... I have it with you and your possessiveness." I yell, "I am supposed to be your friend, and instead you are treating me like you own me. Like you are the only who can decide what's best for me, like you have claimed me. I'm done!"

"You've had it with me? In this instance, or overall and you are done?" he asks. "Done with what?"

"F/n, Loki, stop..." my mom says and places a hand on each of our arms, "you are both upset and need to stop before you say something you may regret, or ruin your friendship. Calm and finish this discussion later..."

"I don't care mom! He basically kidnapped me, and held me hostage last night." I yell, "If this friendship is ruined it's his fault."

"My fault? Held you hostage?" he says, "you never once tried to leave, for a while you and I calmly discussed you staying with me to heal. I kept you from nothing. I provided you with food, sleep chambers, all the comforts of home if not more, in addition to me ensuring that you could sleep. You easily could have left.."

"How Loki? I know of the spells you put on the doors to keep me there! That's why you shut the door so quickly and wouldn't let me go in to your sitting room further. We have learned magic together, our magic and spells are almost identical.."

"You are being unreasonable, F/n...I cannot believe that this is how you repay my kindness and concern for you."

Our argument continues to gain speed and momentum, until my mom manages to get our attention.

"Get out Loki! Now!" I yell, "I don't ever want to see you again."

I run to my room and slam the door. Flopping on to my bed I sob and cry; my side still aches, and yelling at Loki certainly didn't help. I feel terrible, we both said horrible things to each other, but I cannot handle his possessiveness. I cry for the loss of my friend, my best friend...and realize that there is more to my loss than friendship... I have lost love...Loki's love, the only love I have ever really needed or felt. Eventually I sob myself to sleep. Little did I know, that Loki is in his chambers doing the exact same thing...

My mom comes into my rooms, hours later and wakes me for breakfast. I hadn't realized that I slept through the entire afternoon and night. Showering and getting dressed we both walk over to the grand hall for breakfast. My mom is incredibly thoughtful and is not asking any questions about what happened with Loki. She and I sit with Sif and Eira this morning. Sif knows that something is bothering me. The four of us enjoy our breakfast, and a herald actually brings some flowers over to me.

"Oh let me guess, " Sif says sarcastically, "they are from him...as usual."

Smiling, I grab the note, and read it. Expecting to see Loki's handwriting, I am surprised to see a different note:

"Is this how I get your attention? I would like to take you to dinner and for a night in the village. Meet me at the front gate tonight right before dusk" – Cedrin

"Well Sif, if by him you mean Cedrin, then yes, that's who they are from.." I say which earns me a strange look from all the women.

"Oh my! I stand corrected, I assumed they were from...Loki" she says with hatred and disdain on every word.

We finish our breakfast, just as Loki enters the hall with Thor and the warriors, closely followed by Honora and other ladies. Loki is acting bored with the attention from them, but once he sees me he turns to Honora and acts as though he is interested in conversation. He offers her his arm and she giggles flirtatiously, and I plaster my court mask on my face and smile. Loki and I make eye contact and he quickly stops as if expecting me to say something. I nod and greet him as if he was the Prince, and not my dearest friend. He nods in my direction and then scowls at the bouquet of flowers in my hands. Honora tugs his arm to pull her with him. Whether she was successful in getting him to follow her, I don't know because Sif has pulled me from the hall and we head to the practice courts.

"Sif, let's take the day off," I suggest to her as I see Loki approaching with Thor and the others to practice.

He doesn't see me, but I can see the harem of ladies that are following all of them. The memory of what we did and said to each other fresh in my mind; Sif and I decide to take the day off from training and sparring to head into the market place.