criminal minds one shots

secrets and lies | JJ

"And then Elle got shot" Derek was explaining the most recent huge event that happened only months before you joined the team.

"Woah" you sighed it was a lot to take in. "Are you okay now?" you turned to Elle.

She chuckled a little bit "I'm okay honey it happened years ago, I'm totally fine now, you hugged her and squeezed her hand once to indicate that she can talk to you about it any time.

"There's my favourite girl" you said as you saw JJ walking towards you.

"You guys are so in love it's gross" Spencer faked being disgusted.

"Get a room guys, seriously" Derek added.

"Is someone mad that they don't have a girlfriend?" JJ cooed.

"I think they are" you agreed as you snuck a kiss from JJ.

You all got back to work and you saw Elle on her own by the coffee counter "Hey Elle can I talk to you for second" you smiled.

"Sure" she added putting down her coffee.

"It's about JJ" you smiled.

"Oh- did something happen?" she said concerned.

"Hap- oh no no oh no uh you said earlier about how she collected butterflies when she was younger?"

"Yup Pale Clouded Yellow ones, it was a really big staple in her life at one point" you both turned to face JJ who was sitting uncomfortably at her desk you could see she was struggling with something

"Thank you" you made sure to thank Elle before you got up to talk to JJ.

"Hey you okay" you said massaging her neck and occasionally kissing her head

"I'm okay" she reached up and put her hand on yours and tapped it and turned around and smiled at you "I'll talk about it later okay" her smile weakened.

"Okay, just as long as you do" you smiled.

"Hey JJ? You home?" you called out.

"Yeah honey, I'll be there in a second" you heard clattering so you just assumed she was getting changed.

"Okay no problem" you smiled, you heard her coming back into the living room, your back was to her when you were sat on the couch you started talking to her "so Elle was telling me today about the fisher king unsub and she told me what happened to her and then she told me that you used to collect butterflies, umm I think she said pale clouded yellow ones and I thought that was super cool because I used to collect them too" you chuckled to yourself as you noticed JJ come around the couch to sit next to you, she looked like she had been crying since she left the BAU, she changed into pajama shorts and a jumper, the one sleeve rolled up, her hair was thrown into a messy bun with strands falling over her face.

Her lip quivered as she tried to speak, her hands shaking, and her one leg shaking too, a whole wave of sadness and anxiety washing over her, your heart ached for her

"JJ?" you stood up and took her hands in yours, her cries growing louder as she felt peace with you "oh, baby" you hugged her as tightly as you could, your one hand rubbing her back and your other stroking her hair "it's okay, you can cry" she nodded as a silent thank you.

"It's all my fault" JJ finally becoming coherent.

"Babe, sit down for me" you guided her to the couch "Wait here and I promise I'll be back" she nodded silently again.

You came back with two glasses of water "drink this" you prompted.

JJ took the glass, if you blinked you would've almost a tiny hint of a smile, she drank most of it and set the glass down.

"Can I?" she eyed your lap as to ask if she could lie in it, you nodded and smiled at her as she crawled into it.

"You wanna talk about it?" you gently asked, she was now facing away from you, her head was on your legs and you were stroking her hair.

"Spence is gonna be mad at me, like really mad" she sighed, her breath still shaky as she recalled the events.

"About what sweetheart?" you whispered.

"About Emily" JJ mumbled.

"Emily? what about her?" you were confused at the fact that he would be mad about Emily, even though Emily died 7 months ago "did they find something of hers?" you asked genuinely getting more confused.

"She uh-" JJ cried harder.

"JJ, whatever happened, I can manage it" you chuckled "Emily was crazy, she always used to do the most insane things-"

"Emily's alive" JJ blurted.

"We buried her?" you asked confused "She's alive?" your breath hitched as you realised JJ would never lie about this, you were quiet for a while, unsure of what to say as you found out your best friend was actually alive.

JJ stood up and was about to leave "JJ come back, I'm not mad at you, please" you begged.

"You're not?" JJ turned around.

"No, I've known you almost 8 years, I know you wouldn't have lied about Emily's death for no reason, I assume Emily will tell me the real reason why but JJ please I'm not mad at you" you repeated.

"I assumed you would be" JJ almost leaped back into your arms, her hands clung tightly around the middle of your back.

"Oh honey" you brushed her hair out of her face when she finally looked at you again.

"I love you, more than anything, and I promise you nothing will ever change that" you kissed her forehead.

"Promise?" she looked at you, with water stained eyes.

"Promise" you wiped her eyes with your fingers and your hand landed on her cheek.

"I promise you" her cheek rested on your hands as she put her hand over it and smiled gently, content with where she was.

"She'll be back in the office tomorrow" JJ smiled.

"She will?" you questioned.

"Yeah" JJ sighed.

"If she's up for it maybe we can do a small girls's night after work, just like a small get together thing" you smiled.

"I'm sure she'll love that" JJ grinned.

"She will" you grinned.

"Come on" you said taking her hand in yours "you look exhausted, let's get you to bed" you smiled.

"Thank you" JJ whispered, as she was getting under the covers.

"For what baby?" you put your phone down on your bedside table and turned over to face her.

"For just being you, I love you" JJ kissed your head.