The Armoured Crusaders

recollections

*Joey and Daniel both woke up after passing out at a new year's day party at town hall*

Joey: *groaning and lying under a table* where are we

Daniel: *lying on top of said table* I seem to be lying on a dining room table, I can see cutlery, I've either died and come back as a succulent pig, or we're still at town hall...what can you see

Joey: nothing, I think I've gone blind *he sat up and hit his head on the table* OW

Daniel: heck of a party *he rolled onto his side and fell onto the floor with a thud

*the two sat together*

Joey: heck of a party

Daniel: yeah

Joey: you remember anything that happened last night

Daniel: no idea, everything went dark around the commissioner's speech, the last thing I remember is my head in the cold, unforgiving lavatory bowl

Joey: Danny, that wasn't the lavatory bowl...it was the punch bowl

*Daniel's eyes widened in horror and he facepalmed*

Daniel: hark Mr memory man

*Joey yawned and suddenly noticed something red on his hand*

Joey: oh my god...I'm bleeding

Daniel: no you aren't, that's just red lipstick

Joey: oh...Danny why am I wearing red lipstick

Daniel: cause maroon would have clashed with your eyeshadow

*Joey rubbed his eyes and noticed it, gasping in horror he wiped it off*

Daniel: *shaking his head with a grin* you should know better than to pass out unconscious while I'm still awake

*Joey nodded*

Daniel: you know, last night I think we made  one or two, teensy little mistakes, starting with a few drinks of juice, great, a few glasses of milkshake, lovely, but the soda and lemonade drinking race...that may have been a bridge too far...and our second mistake, was letting Boba convince us that you could mix a nice cold coke, with a bit of redbull

Daniel: and our third, final...crowning mistake *Daniel suddenly screamed in horror* something horrible is coming back to me

Joey: *turning pale* and me, Where's that punch bowl

*Daniel jumped up and frantically searched his suit pockets and trousers, he found a a bit of paper and stared at it in horror*

Daniel: it's true

Joey: Danny, while your up there get me the punch howl

Daniel: well thats it *he sank down next to Joey* I might as well leave town, my life's over, it was very nice knowing you Joey...you were hanging from the light fitting, Zander was having a lie down in the cold buffet...and I was dancing the lambada with the daughter of the commissioner of the metropolitan police...commissioner Boyle's daughter

Joey: how'd I get onto the ceiling

Daniel: me and the others formed a human pryamid, but that is not the point...I did the lambada with the commissioner's daughter...I took her out to the cloakroom...*looking ready to cry* JOEY, I SNOGGED HER

*he looked at the paper again*

Daniel: *gasps* I've got her telephone number

Joey: *confused* 999

Daniel: that's her emergency number, her regular number's on the back

Joey: you sure it was the commissioner's daughter

Daniel: yeah, I remember it clearly, our age, white dress, green eyes, blond hair, kept smiling at me half the party

Joey: and that was her

Daniel: *groans* Joey Joey Joey

Joey: *groans* Danny Danny Danny

Later:

Joey: okay, what are we doing now

Daniel: I just want to grab a few things, I wrote  it all down here *he hands Joey the paper*

Joey: *reading it* to the naughtiest young man I ever met, kiss kiss heart heart, all my love and hair ruffles, Lilac

Daniel: underneath that, what's underneath that

Joey: PS, call me Friday, misery guts is at a conference

Daniel: UNDERNEATH THAT

*Joey covered his mouth trying hard not to laugh*

Joey: oh Danny, you are in trouble

Daniel: you think I didn't know that

*later Joey and Daniel are approached by a very angry Cobalt*

Joey and Daniel: oh hi dad

Cobalt: dont you, oh hi dad me, do you two have any idea who I've just been talking to on the phone

*the twins shook their heads*

Joey: no dad

Cobalt: commissioner Boyle

*the boys gulp nervously*

Cobalt: apparently the commissioner's beloved daughter Lilac woke up this morning with a smile on her face...smiling and whispering the same name ocer and over, Joey she kept saying, Joey, Joey, Joey...Joey Stryker

Daniel: *in shock* Joey

Cobalt: yes Daniel, but from what I hear you're both as gad as each other, first you lambarded her down to the the cloakroom...and then Joey dropped down on her from a chandelier...she hasn't been the same since *looking at Joey* APPARENTLY SHE COMPARED YOU TO ERRROL FLYNN

*he sighed and rubbed his eyes*

Cobalt: look, I know what these parties are like, we all have one or two too many, even I've done that myself when i was younger, I did some fairly dumb things too, but I didn't start swinging from the lightbulbs and kissing women I barely even know, THE COMMISSIONER WAS ALMOST IN TEARS