Serendipity (ProfessorxStudent) (Ferreira Series#2)

CHAPTER 11

Falesia

Dito pala ako sa isang park napunta. Kung saan nandito rin si Professor Ferreira. Hindi na ako nag abalang tanungin kung bakit nandito rin siya eh halata namang mas nauna pa siya sa akin dito kaso dahil marami akong iniisip kanina ay hindi ko siya napansin.

Katatapos ko lang umiyak pero may nagbabadya na namang luha galing sa aking mga mata.

Napatingin kasi ako sa Isang buong pamilya. Masaya at sama sama.

"Seing other people having a good relationship and happy with their family makes my heart break into pieces, like I have a family too, but not that kind one."

"It's heavy, isn't?". Napatingin ako kay Professor Ferreira nung magsalita siya. Hindi ko napansing nabigkas ko pala talaga yung nasa isip ko lang kanina.

"Yes, I act so un bothered sa mga sinasabi sa'kin ng parents ko, pero it's actually killing me so bad. When they value high grades more than you."

Huminga muna ako ng malalim para pigilan ang mga luhang kanina pang nagbabadyang tumulo galing sa aking mga mata.

To all the people are pressured right now, dahan dahan lang. Kaya mo yan.

"If you feel dissapointed with yourself, I'm here to remind you that even the result you wanted is not the result you get, someone out there will always be proud of you. Someone out there is proud of you. Someone out there appreciates you."

Tumango ako kay Professor dahil sa sinabi niya.

"Dissapointed with myself because I can't reach my own expectations anymore. Little achievements are not enough to prove myself and make them proud." Huminga ulit ako ng malalim bago muling magpatuloy. "Still trying my best to make my parents proud but I feel like I am making them more dissapointed, I knew I'm always a dissapointment."

Hindi naman ako nag eexpect na handaan nila ako or ano, pero sana kahit simpleng "congrats, anak" man lang, diba? Kaso wala eh.

Hindi ko na napigilan yung mga luhang bumagsak sa pisngi ko. Hindi ko expected na kahit masungit at maldita si Professor Ferreira, nandito pa rin siya sa gilid ko para damayan ako. Pwede naman siyang umalis nalang nung nakita niya ako kanina kasi hindi ko naman siya napansin, pero hindi niya ginawa. Pinili niya pa ring manatili.

"You are a human being. You don't have to bear the weight of the entire world on your shoulders."

"Ang unfair lang kasi na kahit ginagawa ko naman ang lahat pero hindi pa rin enough sa kanila."

Kinuha niya yung panyo sa kamay ko at siya na mismo ang nagpunas sa mukha ko. Wala na akong pakelam kung ano mang itsura ko. Walang makakatumbas sa sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"I want you to realize that what you are doing is enough. You have always been enough. I might not know you personally, but I just want you to know that your efforts are well appreciated. Nakikita ko kung gaano ka magpursigi and I'll always be proud of you. Fight for your dreams. Go and get that degree. Just don't forget to take good care of yourself."

Ayan, ayan yung gusto kong marinig mula pa noon eh. Sobrang sakit isipin na sa ibang tao ko pa pala maririnig yang mga salitang 'yan na dapat sa magulang ko mismo manggagaling. Sakanila ko ini expect na maririnig 'yan eh. Sakanila.

To all the people who felt that their efforts are not well appreciated. I know how hard it is to receive that "I am proud of you" from the people we expected to be the first person to say it to us. I know how hard it is to understand how high and unreachable the standards they created for us.