Little Ba Reum AU - The roads not taken

Chapter 5

"But I could just take less suppressors," Ba Reum said, trying to concentrate on the game they were playing, "no need to involve anyone. Besides, I don't take that much,"

"I know you don't like it, Ba Reum, but I've read the medication leaflet on those suppressors, and you might think they won't do any harm, but if you keep on taking so many, one day they won't work anymore," Dong Koo said, sounding all too reasonable to Ba Reum, "they suggest no more the three a week,"

"Well, I can just go into headspace more often, but I don't need to get a caregiver," Ba Reum said, but Dong Koo was shaking his heads in protest, making the little pause the game and look at his friend in annoyance, "why not?"

"Because you have no toys," Dong Koo said, making Ba Reum look at him in surprise.

"What?" the little asked, taken aback by the sudden remark.

"Look, me and Chi Kook talked. He said he offered you multiple times to baby sit you when you're in headspace. We know you're not a very young little, but still a little," Dong Koo said.

"Is he angry with me?" Ba Reum asked, feeling uncomfortable, "I didn't mean to offend him,"

"No, he's not angry, just concerned. And so am I," Dong Koo said, his voice still calm and gentle, "we just think it would do you good,"

"And what if I don't want to?" Ba Reum asked, feeling contrary and defensive.

"I can't force you Ba Reum, but we just want you to be healthy and happy," Dong Koo said,, "now you're in police school, you might get overly stressed, and having someone who can help you with that will do you good,"

"You really think so?" Ba Reum said almost reluctantly, and Dong Koo nodded, smiling at this sign of victory.

"No harm right? You just go to an agency, they'll couple you with someone compatible, and if you don't like them, you don't need to see them again and can go to the next one," Dong Koo explained, "the power is with you. If they do something you dislike, you can just say no and go away,"

"I guess I can," Ba Reum said, wondering how it would feel to have someone taking care off, him like that. To look after his needs and make sure he was happy. Someone who wouldn't think he was a burden.

But it would mean making himself vulnerable, to make someone see who he was, and he could just see the looks of disappointments on his friend's face when there wasn't a caregiver willing to take a baby like him.

Every month when he went into headspace, he knew how small he was, weeping the whole time, pissing himself, sometimes he even managed to mess himself when he fell asleep until morning. He was so tiny and filthy, and he couldn't imagine anyone wanting to stay with a baby.

"So, will you do it?" Dong Koo said, having seen Ba Reum's thoughtful gaze.

"You guys really want me to try?" Ba Reum said, and Dong Koo nodded, earning him a sigh from Ba Reum, "I guess I can try,"

"That's great," Dong Koo said, while Ba Reum unpaused the game and looked at the screen.

Seeing his friends were being so concerned, he guessed he could do what they asked. So far, if he slipped into headspace near his friends, he managed to control his headspace well enough, so perhaps with someone else as well. He just needed to not be a baby during those times.

Ba Reum was feeling nervous and full of second thoughts while he was seated in the seat in the waiting room, waiting until it was his turn to get an account made in the little agency. Every minute he was waiting, he was ready to run, and to be honest, the only thing that was keeping him was the fact that he had made an appointment, and it would be rude to miss it.

The door opened, and Ba Reum looked up, seeing a large man enter the room, dressed in a pressed suit, and Ba Reum flushed, looking down at his lap when he recognized the man from months ago.

Hyuk was a bit early for his appointment, but to be honest, he was feeling so excited for possible getting paired with someone. He knew it wouldn't be right now, but this was the fist step.

Entering the room, his eyes widened in surprise when he saw someone else sitting in the room, someone he recognized. The little he had seen in the park all those months ago was shyly glancing at his lap, and Hyuk smiled at the coincidence of seeing him there.

He wondered if he was as young as Hyuk's preference, or just a tad older.

"Hi there," Hyuk said, sitting down on the seat next to the little, who looked up shyly at him.

"Hi," the little shyly said, glancing at him. Ba Reum couldn't help but think back at the last time he had seen him, feeling guilty about the suit he had dirtied. Again, the man was wearing what seemed a rather expensive suit, and Ba Reum was glad he wasn't holding anything that he could spill.

"So, getting inscribed as well?" Hyuk asked, and Ba Reum nodded, resisting the urge to fidget, trying to not feel small next to the huge man.

"Yes, I am," Ba Reum said, biting his lip, "I'm really sorry about your suit,"

"Suit?" Hyuk asked, looking confused for a few moments.

"Oh, right, uhm, I guess you don't' remember, but at that parc, in May last year, I spilled my ice-cream," Ba Reum said, flushing a little and thinking that he might have better kept his mouth shut. Of course the man wouldn't have remembered him.

"Oh, that. Don't worry about it," Hyuk said, smiling at the little, "so, I guess you are a little?"

"Yes," Ba Reum shyly confessed, knowing it might have been obvious las time, because most people never noticed until he explicitly told them, "And you are a caregiver?"

"Yes, I am," Hyuk said, "you've been waiting for a while already?"

"Just a little. I think they're running a little late," Ba Reum said shyly fingering the edge of his shirt, and wondering why he was feeling so fuzzy, "you are very tall,"

"I am," Hyuk said, looking amused at the random remark, "you are tall yourself,"

"For a little," Ba Reum said, a finger reaching his mouth and he chewed on the tip, trying to keep his focus.

"Can I ask your headspace age?" Hyuk asked, feeling a connection to the shy little.

"Am a toddler," Ba Reum said, deciding it was best not to lie too hard about his age, just in case he dropped a little too small, "an older one,"

"Are you?" Hyuk said, somehow feeling surprised by that.

Before Ba Reum could answer, a door opened, and the person looked at the two sitting there.

"Ah, Mr. Ji, we've been expecting you," the woman said, making Hyuk look in surprise.

"My appointment is only in fifteen minutes," Hyuk stated, "I think he's been waiting longer. When was your appointment,"

"It's not important," Ba Reum said shyly, knowing that it was ten minutes ago, and wondering if there had been a reason why the other man was being let in before him. He did look important, and wealthy, so his time must be more precious than Ba Reum's.

"Well, I don't mind waiting a little longer," Hyuk said, suspecting that his filled in questionary about his personal and professional life had made them feel as if they should let him go first.

"Ah, if that's the case, Mr. Jung? Could you please follow me," the woman said, and Ba Reum stood up, bowing to Hyuk.

"Thank you," Ba Reum said, following the woman while Hyuk smiled in affection at the little.

Ba Reum felt very stressed while the went over to the questionnaire he had filled in, repeating the lie about his headspace age. The woman was going fast, but seeing as most of it had been filled in.

"No corporal punishment," Ba Reum said, when she asked when there was anything important, "just, I don't want anyone to hurt me,"

"Of course," the woman said, typing it on her computer and after ten minutes, Ba Reum left the office, seeing the large caregiver smile and wave at him, and Ba Reum waved back.

If all caregivers were like him, Ba Reum could see this working.