38. 99 Problems

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EXT. IMPALA, HIGHWAY - NIGHT

"Drive faster, Dean," Sam ordered.

"I can't!" Dean yelled. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm amazing."

"You ever seen that many?" Beth asked.

"No. No way, not in one place."

"What the hell?" Dean wondered. "Damn it!"

Rob spoke an Enochian exorcism.

"Well that's something you don't see every day," Dean commented.

"You three all right?" Rob questioned.

"Peachy."

"Be careful. It's... dangerous around here."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait," Dean said.

"No need to thank us."

"No, hold up a sec! Who are you?"

"We're the Sacrament Lutheran Militia."

Beth frowned. "I'm sorry—the what?"

"I hate to tell you this, but those were demons and this is the Apocalypse. So... buckle up."

EXT. ROAD - NIGHT

"Looks like we're in the same line of business," Sam noted.

"And among colleagues," Dean added. "That's a police-issued shotgun. That truck is, uh... inspired. Where'd you guys pick up all this crap?"

"You know you pick things up along the way," Paul said.

"Guys, come on. This whole corner of the state is nuts with demon omens. We just want to help. That's all."

"We're on the same team here," Sam told them. "Just talk to us."

"Follow us," Rob ordered.

EXT. CHURCH - DAY

"Dylan, it's a church," Jane said. "Headphones off."

"Yes, Mom," Dylan replied.

INT. CHURCH - DAY

"Who would have thought the Apocalypse could be so romantic?" Pastor Gideon said. "Marriage, family—it's a blessing. Especially in times like this. So hold on to that."

"Wedding?" Sam questioned with a scoff. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," Paul answered. "We've had eight so far this week."

EXT. CHURCH - DAY

"Congratulations!" the crowd exclaimed. "Yay!"

"So Rob tells me you boys and girl hunt demons," Pastor Gideon said.

"Uh... yes sir," Sam and Beth replied.

"You missed a few."

"Yeah," Sam said. "Tell us about it. Any idea why they're here?"

Pastor Gideon shook his head. "They sure seem to like us, though. Follow me, gentlemen, lady."

INT. CHURCH - DAY

"So you're a preacher?" Dean asked.

"Not what you expected, huh?" Pastor Gideon said.

"Well, dude, you're packing."

"Strange times."

INT. CHURCH BASEMENT - DAY

"Is that a twelve-year-old packing salt rounds?" Dean questioned.

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