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𝐒𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧
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It would always feel like his heart was on fire. He had you- but he didn't. Whenever he looked at himself in the mirror he saw a man who loved you more than anything. Himself. But that's not the man you want to be with. He never had a negative self-image, he always thought it was a waste of time to compare himself to others, but he couldn't help it.
It started to hurt him, so badly.
Knowing you wouldn't love him just as much.
Knowing you think someone else is more handsome.
Sweeter.
More suitable.
More loveable.
He, himself, his lifestyle that resembled nothing more than that of a failure in his eyes. He started to wonder if he had any attractive traits. He didn't do much besides playing games, and it was a miracle he was able to find a job. He was in his twenties and felt like he hadn't achieved a thing. He hadn't made anyone proud yet, even though he might've been told that, he just felt like he hadn't done anything remarkable enough to be truly proud of.
It was not like he was a super emotional person, he found it easy to block away his emotions and act like he didn't care about the world. But sometimes, and lately, it was a lot, the thoughts and voices would void his mind.
It was ruining him, but he wasn't noticing it.
The days were getting darker, grimier, sadder, less enjoyable, and he found it difficult to leave his bed in the morning. He wasn't excited about what the day was going to bring him. He lost his spark, his hope, his motivation. Every day felt the same, all coated with gray spots, slowly getting thicker and thicker until no light could shine through it anymore. He feels like he has failed in life. He despises the person he has become. A person without light in their heart. A dull, hopeless heart that's close to fading away.
Why did you not tell him you saw him? Why did you feel like you had to hide it from him? Weren't you two close? Is it because you love Kurapika? Because you want him? Because you regret kissing Azami?
Kasumi's voice was blocked out of his head as she kept on talking about things that happened at work, he couldn't fathom what she was talking about. His head was spinning at this point.
Did they talk? Did they make up? Did they make plans for the future? Did they kiss?
The worst thing is that he didn't have his phone, considering it is still stuffed in the pocket of Kasumi's jeans, and she has no intentions of giving it back before their so-called ''date'' is over.
