Finding Home

Chapter Thirty-Nathan

Nathan paced back and forth on the sidewalk in front of the house. His mate was inside with a rouge that clearly wasn't all there. He was telling her about a ritual to bring forth her wolf that could kill her. And he knew she was actually considering it.

Malcolm was fighting him for control. He wanted Nathan to shift and destroy the rouge for even suggesting that Paige could die. Nathan was inclined to let him. The only reason he didn't was because of the look Paige had given him. It was one full of anger and doubt. She was angry at his possessiveness and was doubting going through with it because of it.

If she didn't go through it it because of him he'd never forgive himself. Having a wolf and being connected to a pack was the greatest thing he had in his life. The feeling of belonging, of community, of home. Having a wolf was exhilarating, the constant companionship, the feeling of wind in your fur as you race through the forest. Nothing could compare to it. He can't imagine not having that.

Patrick watched him pace with a look on his face that Nathan couldn't parse. "What?" he asked, tone harsh. Patrick just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. It infuriated Nathan even more. He stormed over to him and got up in his face, "Say. What's on. Your. Mind." He paused between each word, trying to be intimidating.

But this was Patrick. Patrick knew him well enough to know when he's putting on a front.

"I know you're worried about losing her, but I don't think that'll happen."

"She is in there with a rouge right now!" he practically shouted. He stalked away.

"Yeah, but that's not what you're worried about. Micah's the best young warrior we've seen in a while and from talking to Dorothea, he's always been overprotective of her. Nothing in there is going to hurt her. No, what you're worried about is her leaving. Choosing not to stay with you. What you're worried about is rejection."

Those words were the pin to the balloon of his rage. He deflated as he let himself acknowledge his terror. All day 'what if's'had been running through his mind. What if her wolf won't wake and she leaves? What if it does wake but they're not mates? What if he's to controlling and it drives her away? What if she decides the life she built without him is the one she wants? What if she doesn't want to give everything up to join the pack? What if? What if? What if?

"I can't make the 'what if's' stop," he said quietly. "They just keep spinning around and around and around in my head. I feel like I'll go crazy if I lose her. It feels like I'm already half way there."

"Well, I don't know much about mating, but I do know how to read people, and judging from the way she looks at you I'd say there's a pretty good chance she's not going anywhere. Even if her wolf doesn't wake up."

"You don't know her like I do. She's got self-sacrifice down to an art form. If her wolf doesn't wake up she will leave. She'll go back to London so the mate bond will fade and I can find someone else. She knows the importance of having a good Luna. She won't take that from me or the pack. No matter how she feels about me."

"I already think she's a good Luna."

"You do? I thought you didn't like her."

"I don't like the threat she posed to you but I can't deny her brilliance. How she calmed you down in the car, how she keeps her cool even in the most stressing situations. I heard about what she did for Holly. Even if she never gets her wolf, I think she will be an incredible Luna."

"How did you hear about Holly? That was literally this morning."

"I know everything." He shrugged. "The point is, I think we need her. I know you need her but I think the pack needs her too. She doesn't take any shit but she's all kindness and caring and compassion. I can't think of anyone better to lead the pack with you."