Finding Home

Chapter Twenty Seven-Paige

Five Years Ago
Bangkok, Thailand

Paige headed into the hostel so she could rest before their dinner plans. Lennette had convinced them all to splurge on a dinner cruise and she knew they would inevitably end up at a club somewhere after. Pre-game rest was mandatory. The room they were staying in had eight bunks. They were lucky they could book the whole room and they could all stay together. It made it easier to look after each others things.

She walked into the room and was surprised to find the dipshit there. She thought he had gone with Mateo to the market. She had to hold back a groan at seeing him. She was less than enthused when their group had invited him to join them. All Lennette's and hers protesting fell on deaf ears. The dude was alright when he wasn't blind drunk, and he had helped them out of a tight spot in Chang Mai. She still didn't like him though. He was a werewolf, and in her experience, werewolves were generally misogynic assholes, there were some exceptions of course, but they were few and far between.

Not wanting to engage with him, she mumbled a soft 'hey' as she made her way across the room to her bunk. He didn't look up but gave her a soft 'hey' of his own. She started moving her crap off her bunk so she could lay down. Knowing it was only the eight of them that had keys to their room she was less secure with it. She heard a sniffle behind her. She looked at the dipshit, he was turned away from her but she could see his shoulder moving.

"Hey, dude are you alright?" He just nodded. She cautiously moved closer to him. "You sure? You don't seem alright?" She peeked around him and saw he was crying pretty heavily. "Oh shit! Nathan, what's wrong?"

At the sound of his name his breathing quickened. He was headed to a full on panic attack. Paige had only seen panic attacks in new rouges. Being far from your pack was difficult for most wolves. You didn't have the comfort of the mind-link or the comforting smell of your family. It wasn't until you found new connections that they began to stabilize. Paige was surprised. She had assumed this guy had either been a rouge for a while or was born one. There was no way he'd be out here on his own otherwise.

"Nathan, dude breathe." She crouched down in front of him. "Nathan, I need you to breathe for me. Can you do that? In and out." She knew that she didn't have much time. If she didn't get him to calm down soon then he would shift and shifting in the middle of a city in the middle of the day was never a good idea. She grabbed his hand and put it on her chest. Then took his other and put it on his own. "You feel my breaths? Match yours to mine. Big, slow breaths. In," She breathed in and he followed, "Good, Nathan. That's good. And out." He let it out in a whoosh. "No, you have to let it out slowly. Try again. Follow me. Breathe in," he took a breath in, "And out." He let out slowly. "Good Nathan, that's good. Keep going. In and out. Mariquil. You're okay. Mariquil. This pain will pass. Mariquil. That's it, just keep breathing. Mariquil. Mariquil." His breathing and heart rate slowed. When it seemed like he had calmed down enough she stood to go back to her bunk.

"No wait!" He said, grabbing her hands. "I'm sorry, can you please- can you please just sit here with me? For a moment? Please?" He looked up at her with such desperation and sincerity in his eyes that her heart broke a little for him. She sat down next to him on his bed.

"Okay, yeah. Sure." They leaned back against the wall and just sat there in silence for a while. "Soooo, you wanna talk about it?"

"There's not much to talk about." He took in a big breath, "I just miss my family is all, miss where I came from."

"If you're missing home so much why don't you, ya know, go home?"

He huffed a laugh. "It's not that simple."

"Come on man, it's not like they kicked you out of anything did they?" she joked. She was fishing, she wanted to know if he was a rouge or not. Not that she had any real problem with rouges, she just liked to know what she was dealing with. He laughed again, a sad hollow chuckle.

"No, nothing like that, I could go home anytime I want, I just don't want to."

"I don't know man," She said, "Water works like that don't come from a dude who's happy to be away from his family." She was trying to be light and cheery, help him out of the dark haze that hangs around after panic attacks.

"It's just an adjustment, that's all."

"If you say so. Has this happened before?"

"Just once, it was... not good." Paige stayed quite. She didn't have to imagine what the 'not good' was. If it's only happened once, then that means he hasn't been away for long. Less than two months. He must have just barely been away from his pack when they met in Sydney.

"Well, I'm glad this turned out better than 'not good' then. This did turn out better right?"

"Yes, thanks to you."

"Don't mention it," she joked, he chuckled. "No really, don't mention it. I've got a reputation to uphold around here. I can't be seen comforting a dude after I put him on his ass. What would people say about me then?" He looked at her and she let a little of her mirth leak through. Paige's joking was always a highwire act. People didn't always catch on when she was and sometimes took offense. He smiled and Paige thought her heart would stop for a moment.

"Don't worry Rook, your secret is safe with me. I can't go begging for comfort from a girl who put me on my ass anyways, even if you were only able to do it cuz I was drunk off it already."

"You just keep telling yourself that big guy. If it makes you feel better." She patted his leg and got up. "Now if you excuse me, I need my beauty rest. Lennette can be quite the hard ass when it comes to her evenings and I do not want to be unprepared." She went over to her bunk and lay down.

"Hey, what was that word you were saying to me?"

"What? Mariquil?" he nodded, "It's just a word a woman I knew once gave me. She claimed she was a witch and it was a spelled word would help to calm people down." She shrugged.

"What's it supposed to mean? Is it from another language?"

"No I think she made it up. It's a combination of the Latin word for sea, mare, and the English word tranquil. It's supposed to calm the storm inside you or something. I don't really know. I don't think she's actually a witch, so."

"You don't think witches are real?" He asked.

"No I know they're real. I just don't think she was a witch. It was in a big city and from what I know of witches they're more like the Amish. Living in the middle of nowhere, using their magic for what they need, no doctors, no electricity. So her story didn't add up." She shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. "I mean it's not like I'm a witch, even if I had a spelled word, doesn't mean it would work. I just like how it sounds is all. I find it helpful." In truth it was a self-contained spelled word and the witch created it to help Paige. Anytime Paige said the word it would activate and help calm the area people around her but the dipshit didn't need to know that.

In the next city, she persuaded everyone to choose the hostel closer to the edge of town that had a big park near by. It wasn't much, but it was closer than the city center. It didn't mean she liked him though. It was purely a safety thing. Couldn't have a werewolf losing control in the middle of a city.