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— ❝first fuck up.❞
So far, there haven't been many cases of such a pure panic that a panic attack was the result. Anxiety was usually enough. But in this particular case, panic was present. Panic was extremelypresent.
Coming home to a fully trashed room was one thing. Knowing it was a warning and a reminder that they knew where she lived was a whole different scenario. Estelle had stayed up all night, trying to get her room back to its old state. A vase had broken, the potting soil fell all over the wooden floor and the plants had died by the time Estelle came home. Her Frank Ocean vinyl was trashed it had fallen under a chair. For the rest nothing was irreversible.
She noticed she had zoned out. Estelle was zoned out for half the day at school. "Do you think cats ever know when they lose a live?" She turned to Hazel, who was sitting next to her on the benches of the gym. It was her way of trying to hide the fact she had barely talked at all that day.
"Uh," Hazel was caught off guard by the question. "I guess. Why?"
"Maybe we should start training cats to fight for us." Estelle absentmindedly shared. Hazel followed her gaze to the few girls that sat on the floor of the gym.
"How about we just leave the poor cats alone." Hazel stood up from the bench. She offered her hand for Estelle to take. Estelle looked up at her, then at her hand. The fluttering feeling in the pit of her stomach returned as she accepted Hazel's hand. Together, the two joined the other girls.
Hazel was flipping through her notebook, occasionally writing some stuff down. Two sets of footsteps came from the entrance of the gym. Hazel's head shot in the direction of the sounds. "Talk to them." She told Estelle and hopped in PJ and Josie's direction.
"I don't know how!" She whisper-yelled back. Hazel turned around in her run, giving the redhead a thumbs up. Estelle sighed, trying desperately to think of something non-awkward. "So... Did you know Rudolph the Reindeer is a female?" She asked Annie, since she already knew who she was.
Annie gave the girl a strange look. Estelle —who was bouncing on the balls of her feet at this point— unconventionally enough saw that as an invite to continue. "Yeah, it's the antlers. I felt so lied to when I found out. But it was a good lie, y'know? That was a strange feeling to feel."
The reactions weren't exactly positive, but how was Estelle to know? Her social skills were literally at the bottom. The door opened again, sounding to some as a rescue. Through the door and past Hazel, PJ and Josie walked Sylvie and another girl Estelle did not recognise.
They were greeted by the girls sitting on the floor. "What're we talking about?" Sylvie asked no one in particular.
"Estelle just told us Rudolph the Reindeer is a woman." Annie answered. A mocking tone could be caught in her voice, but it wasn't caught by Estelle.
