He Hates Me Or Does He?

PART 9 : WHO'S ADARSH

I am trying to make a good report today so that I can make my impression better all over again. My nerves are really calm as almost everything seems good now. I had a good chat with my cousins, I got my phone back (The Best part) and I got in good terms with Sir and Abhi altogether. It feels really peaceful now.

I check the time and it's 10:00 p.m. No one is in the library. It's very peaceful. The first floor still might have some people reading. Most of the readers are not readers but aspirants preparing for some exam. It must have really helped them since there was no good library in this town and people with big hopes and dreams have now got a boom for them in order to snatch their dreams at best.

I just feel bored a little today. I unplug my phone from the charger and turn the internet on. There are plenty of messages. I just start going through them one by one. I have got over 100 messages on WhatsApp. Most of them are from my friends. I start replying to them. Wait what? I have received over 40 missed calls and here it goes again. 37 of them are from Aadarsh. What does he want now?

After over 3 months, I have received his call. The last time I talked to him, I was begging him to come for me again or just talk to me so I feel less lonely. And he hung up obviously. He said that he felt nothing for me and I deserve the sadness as I was unable to understand him and his feelings and reciprocate them to the way I should have.

After all this time, when I feel like I deserve better than him and I don't need him in my life anymore, why has he called me of all people now. Is it an emergency or just another misery? I just don't want to talk to him.

But wait, somebody talked with him for 10 minutes 26 seconds at 2:03 p.m. It must have been Vihaan ofcourse. What did they talk about for over 10 minutes now? I feel anxiety crippling over inside me again. Why can't I just unsee it now? For the first time, I feel it would have been better if I had just lost this phone. I feel miserable now.

I can't wait anymore. I dial the number. The bell is ringing. The phone has been picked up.
" Hello" I say.
" Hey. How are you?" I hear his unpleased voice. How am I? Why do you care?
" urm I am good. How are you? I ask
" Ah Where are you these days again? In your that home town. What was it's name something like diarrhoea."

I'll kill him some day.
" it's Deoria. Yes How do you know?"
" Oh you don't know. Your dad invited us to the wedding of your some cousin. I have come back to India for a break. I am in here from last 5 days"

My heart is breaking all over again. Why is this happening?
" Okay. Why have you called? "
"Oh okay.. so can I not even call you now huh. I called you to tell you we won't be able to attend the wedding but my father doesn't consider saying no a proper response since our families are so good together. So we are going to Kushinagar tomorrow, we'll visit your town in between."

I am so gutted.
" Oh. So you'll come here tomorrow? Urm at what time approximately. Has your father not talked about it with my father?" I ask
" Oh yes he has. It's just that he's not in town right now. So we'll just meet your mother and you. And I kind of want my things back." He says rudely
" urm I don't have my things with me right now. I'll return it to you later. I'll send it to your home"
" Who picked your phone today?" He's just so direct.
"It's None of your business."
" oh We'll see about that." He hangs up.

What is up with him now. He has manipulated and tortured with me enough. Now I am finally over him and out of this relationship, I realise what sort of an idiot I was to be in love with me. His rough voice, narcisstic attitude, crazy manipulations still haunts me today.

Now that he's gone, I realise with what sort of a man I was in a relationship with. He took all my happiness away. I don't even know if there are men who know how to love properly. It just shatters me even more to see the way he treats his new girl now. He was embarrassed of me at times. Constantly shaming me, my body, my sensitivity, my love for books, my everything. And I should be the one to blame the most. Why the hell did I allow it. It was not love. He was playing with my feelings and I was being played. It was good only initially and a demon to me lateron. How can I face him now? Why should I? I don't want to face him. I'll come early to the library for that matter. I just don't want to come across him ever again.