go big or go home

tina

ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ

☆

tina is grateful for the raise she received recently, because all of this starbucks consumption is making her pockets hurt. she can't help it though, as both she and her best friend have somehow managed to convince themselves that they work better when sitting in a coffee shop with too-expensive drinks.

tina is on her phone as she waits for their coffee, replying to a groupchat of old school friends that has been recently revived and pointedly avoiding the work emails she knows are waiting for her.

sykkuno won't mind if she takes a little while to get around to it, especially when she's having a study evening. she knows that. with her busy schedule, she's lucky to have such an accommodating boss - though he might just be so easy because they're also friends.

"tina?"

the brunette glances up when her name is called, eyeing the drinks as if the one other woman waiting for drinks may also be called tina, and walks over when she is sure they're hers. "thank you," she smiles at that barista, earning herself a nod, before taking the drinks.

she moves them over to the side and pockets her phone to focus on putting little cardboard sleeves around the drinks so they can enjoy them without hurting their hands.

tina picks up the drinks again, offering one last chirpy, "thank you!" to the starbucks workers before making her way outside and over to the table that they've been occupying for the greater part of the afternoon.

karl perks up when he sees her returning, sitting up straight from where he had previously been slumped over his keyboard. he smiles, moving aside their empty cups to make space for the new ones.

the smile is a thankful one, kind but small. tina knows he's forcing it.

she sees the way he stresses over everything, biting on his lip like a stress chew and picking at his hangnails. he tries so hard to always be happy and fine, but she sees through it regardless.

she's studying therapy, it's ridiculous that he thinks he could hide things from her, even if she is specifically learning about children. human behaviours really don't change all that much from when they're children to adults, they just become more subtle. or, at least, they think they do.

tina sits back down, smiling back at karl over the top of her laptop and pushing his drink towards him at the same time as taking a sip from hers. "too hot," she immediately comments, and he chuckles quietly, leaving his own drink to cool down.

the pair of them are currently having a study date. they both had work today, so they were already exhausted, but they already made a mutual decision to head over to their closest starbucks and get as much work done as possible before it was time for them to go home and cook dinner.

they had made these plans yesterday.

when they had actually got home today, within mere minutes of one another, karl had mentioned how the usual class teacher was absent and so he had to be emergency cover for the class. even if he hadn't given the daily update, tina would've noticed how tired he looked.

she had tried her hardest to cancel the study date and rain check for another day, but karl was adamant that he was fine. she could see his exhaustion in his eyes, posture, smile. she could hear it in his voice. but this is karl, and karl is always fine.

even when he's overworked and underrested, he's fine.

tina has told her best friend countless times that he needs to stop doing other people's jobs for them. he already does too much, even without the added pressure.

he's just too nice. he has such a problem when it comes to saying no, she has noticed. sometimes she'll jokingly say 'go get my phone' and he'll do it, and she'll automatically feel bad.

sometimes it slips her mind how much of a pushover he can be, which feels like a harsh term but it's too accurate to pass off for something else.

in this exact moment, as karl continues whatever he is typing, tina can tell that he is overwhelmed. he's trying to hide it, but she notices every sign just like she would if this was a ten-year-old on one of her placements.

the finger tapping, the occasional twitch in his brow, the gum biting, the way his eyes lose focus as he zones out every few minutes, clearly since his mind is trying to focus on far too many things at once.

"i'm worried about your stress," tina says after what feels like weeks of constantly mulling it over in her brain. she keeps putting off the conversation, not wanting her friend to feel cornered, but she knows she won't be able to sleep properly if she keeps putting it off.

"i've spoken to sapnap," karl answers dismissively, eyes hardly leaving his laptop for a moment before he's back to typing.

"actually spoken to him?" tina asks. she reaches forward, pushing the lid of her friend's laptop so it closes just enough for him to be at the wrong angle to see but not enough for it to switch off. "like, properly? or did you just say you're stressed and move on?"

"you think sapnap would just let me move on?" karl asks with a small, albeit real, smile, and tina grins back at the insinuation. karl has a fair point, sapnap is too good for that. "properly spoke," he answers, "i talked and he helped. i think stuff will be better after the wedding rehearsal because then i won't be so worried about the wedding going wrong."

tina nods understandingly even though, with how much effort has gone into it, it would be impossible for the wedding to go wrong to a noticeable extent.

"how did sap help you?" she asks, mentally cueing up different techniques that she has studied towards helping with stress and nerves because, again, even though karl won't admit it, tina can tell he's anxious about the wedding.

"he took some of my responsibility," karl shrugs. he pushes his laptop back open but doesn't look back at it yet. "and it probably wasn't something he did purposefully, but the way he reacted helped because it kind of reminded me that i can always talk to him."

tina smiles. "that makes me really happy to hear," she says honestly.

karl smiles back at her, soft and genuine, before his eyes are fixed back on his work.

part of her wants to make him stop, but another part of her knows that he needs this balance. in a weird way, karl depends on the stress to keep himself in check.

maybe he's just always been so overworked that it has become natural for him, and maybe in his head he feels like he needs all of the extra work or he won't know what to do with himself.

or maybe tina is just viewing the situation through the view of a therapist in training, and she needs to step back and look at it through the view of a friend.

☆

i finished writing the book that comes after this book so now i'm starting the book that comes after that one!! (i'm popping off your honour)

love you most ever

-kit