Fate ~ A Hunter x Hunter After Story

Chapter 8 ~ Apologies and the rest of the spiders

Killua PoV

By the time the old hag was finished with her lecture, I had been punched for at least 10 times. It was already night, and the stars shone brightly in the night sky. I decided to find Gon to apologise. I tracked down his Nen and found him sitting on top of a tree, staring at the stars, seemingly lost in thought. I climbed up and sat next to him, and we sat in silence for a couple of minutes, gazing up at the stars and lost in our own minds. I then decided to talk.

'So...Gon, I'm really sorry for attempting to suicide, okay? I promise I won't do it again. At that time I just—' 'What's suicide?' Gon asked. I forgot he's a pure bean who doesn't know anything.

'Erm...Not thinking about anything and taking action.' I stuttered for a response, trying not to make him sad.

'So it's like being reckless?'

'Erm yeah, something like that but more serious. I just felt really sad and thought that you didn't want to be my friend anymore, so I didn't think and did that. I' sorry for what I did and causing you to break a leg.' I apologised.

'It's okay' Gon said in a sort of dreamy voice. 'I sometimes froze when something is about to happen and couldn't move too! And... I'm really sorry for the incident in NGL and leaving you on your birthday.' Gon's voice dropped. 'I was really scared that I would hurt you that day! To be honest, I haven't been the same as before. Lately I became really afraid of losing myself over range like before and hurt the people I love. I've always been really sorry for hurting your feelings back at NGL just because I couldn't contain my range! You're a lot more precious to me than Kite, and I hurt you! This is why I ran away on your birthday, I felt my range over myself coming and I'm afraid I would say something hurtful to you again...' Gon sobbed.

I was shocked I thought he was angry at me for my actions but he was actually angry at himself! It's my fault for attempting to suicide, and he has every right to scold me, but instead he blamed himself for feeling angry! It's never his fault for losing over range while a friend dies, it's just natural, so why is he blaming himself? And how come I never acknowledge or help him when he's blaming himself? I'm such a horrible friend. I gently rubbed his back while he continued.

'Every time I do something I hurt people. I'm always so reckless! I thought that adverting Kite is the right thing to do, but instead I hurt my best friend in the world. You always have to suffer because of me, but yet I hurt you! I'm such a terrible friend... I should have died when I made the Nen contract to fight Pitou, no, I would have been better off dead since when I live I only hurt people. You shouldn't have saved me since I hurt you! But you still did! I'm sorry! I'm really sorry...' 'You don't have to be!' I argued back. Tears were flowing out of my eyes now, and Gon seems shocked, since this is the first time ever he saw me cry.

'You actually saved me from being an assassin controlled by Illumi! If I haven't met you, I would still be in that hellhole, never gaining freedom and wants, and Alluka would be locked inside the house for the rest of her life! You saved more people than you think, Gon, and I should be the one to be sorry. I didn't even text or call you once after we separated! I was too engrossed with Alluka and was scared that you would hate me, so—' 'No I don't!'

'I'm sorry.' I continued, as if there's been no interruption.

'No, I'm sorry!' Gon protested.

'No, me!'

'It's me!' We argued back and forth like the old times, and I soon cheered up from the gloomy atmosphere. After arguing we decide to catch up on the things after we separated . I told Gon what I did with Alluka, and how I escaped the Zoldycks, while he told he what he did after meeting with Ging, plus his days with Alluka.