Chapter 41

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Jay's POV

I wake up to a pounding head, and a soft hand combing through my hair.

It's a nice feeling but gets drowned out by the pain in my head. I groan, screwing my eyes shut tight, wishing I could go back to my dreamless sleep.

"Jay.." I hear a familiar voice whisper, and I groan again, stuck between trying to fall back asleep, and opening my eyes so I can look at her.

I end up doing the latter, and when I open my eyes, I find her lying beside me on her side, her lips turned down into a small frown.

Her hand is outstretched as she combs it through the strands of my hair. When I turn my head fully to look at her, she trails her hand down and cups the side of my face.

She shoots me a weak smile. "Morning.." Talia whispers, and suddenly it all hits me.

The funeral, the tears, the pain. All of it comes back at once, and I shake my head, wanting to forget again.

I turn my head away from her, my eyes landing on the empty bottle of whiskey on my bedside table.

"Jay.." She whispers, turning my face back to her. "Talia" I groan, my hands finding her body and I pull her close, burying my face in her neck and screwing my eyes shut tight, silently begging for it all to go away. For her to make me forget somehow.

"You locked me out" Talia whispers, and I wince a bit, forgetting about that. "I didn't want you to see me" I tell her quietly, and she hums. "You can't run from me Jay," She tells me, and I sigh, starting to wonder if I even want to anymore.

There's a sense of calmness that comes with being close to her. I don't know why I tried avoiding her for so long.

"Everything is fucked up Talia" I whisper, and she pulls me away gently. Her eyes study my face, her frown deepening, as well as her worry.

She lies on her side, as do I. We keep a small space between us, and I rest one hand on her side, needing to touch her.

"What happened Jay?" She whispers, asking the dreaded question. One she has a right to ask, but one I'm truly incapable of answering. Because what didn't happen?

If I explained to her all the shit that happened in the short span of three days, I wonder if she'll even believe me. Even I'm having trouble accepting the fact that what happened wasn't some cruel sick nightmare.

"Jay?" She asks when I don't answer, and I feel my eyes sting. "I...I don't know how to save them Talia" I mumble, my voice cracking as I get overcome with stupid emotions.

"What happened Jay?" Her voice pleads with me for an answer, while her own eyes start to turn glossy just from the sight of mine.

I take a deep breath, before I tell her everything. Starting from the second I left to the second I walked out the door again.

I tell her about Owen.

I tell her about how broken Clayton is, and how the triplets are barely getting by.

And I tell her how in one day, Eleanor managed to cause me more pain than Issac ever did.

"Jay-" Talia's voice cracks, her eyes overflowing with tears, her face a mirror of mine.

I screw my eyes shut tight. "I don't-..I can't save them Talia" I whisper again, and she moves closer to me. I shake my head, immediately standing up off the bed and turning my back to her.

"I-I need to figure out how-" A hand is placed on my shoulder at the same time my voice cracks.

Talia turns me around gently, and I struggle to meet her eyes. I'm beginning to realise even she can't take this pain away.

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