Chapter 33

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Jay's POV

I wake up to the gentle feeling of hands combing through my hair.

Letting out a small groan from the tiredness, I slowly open my eyes, only to be met by chocolate brown ones. Talia lies beside me on her side as well, staring.

I feel my eyes droop closed again while my lips turn up into a lazy smile. "Quite creepy Talia" I whisper, feeling myself slowly start to wake up more.

I force my eyes back open and see a small smile painted on her lips. Her hand that was combing through my hair now rests on the side of my neck.

I glance around, quickly realising how dark the room is. One glance at the digital alarm clock I have on my bedside table and I see it's nearly three a.m.

I let out a yawn, trying to shake the tiredness as my hands find Talia and pull her closer to me by her waist. "Talk to me. What's keeping you up?" I whisper, and Talia just shrugs, her eyes glancing away from me.

I watch her closely, before taking a deep breath when I realise what's wrong. "What I told you last night..you can't sleep because of it" I state, and Talia winces, her eyes filling will guilt.

I sigh, leaning closer to her and pressing my lips to her forehead in a long kiss. "Talia, it happened years ago. I'm over it- last night was the first time I thought about it in years" I quietly whisper in the space between us.

White lies..who did they ever hurt?

I don't think about that night often. Only one day a year; my birthday. But I think that's understandable.

"I'm happy you told me.." Talia trails off, biting her lip a bit out of nerve.

"I want to know everything about you Jay, and I'm starting to realise that most of your past is traumatic, but I still want to know. All of it. I want all the dark parts. The same way I want you to know my dark parts too" She whispers, and I hum, running a hand up and down her side subconsciously as I think about what she says.

She wants the dark parts.

I stay quiet, not exactly knowing what to say. Or where to start.

I stare at her, and she starts back at me as we let her words linger in the air. With her hand resting on the side of my neck, she gently strokes my skin with her thumb, while I slowly rub my hand down her side to her thigh, and back up again.

"I'm not allowed to be scared of anything" I whisper, breaking the silence.

"I'm not allowed to be...weak" I unintentionally flinch at the word.

"But can I tell you a secret..something no one knows?" I say quietly, and Talia's lips tilt down into a slight frown. "I'm petrified of water" I whisper, something I've never openly said before to anyone. Talia's eyes widen.

"Pools, baths, the sea- any pool of water- makes me nearly pass out" I whisper, my heart racing as I speak.

She stares at me, waiting for me to continue. I smile a bit, staring at my hand moving on her body. "It's dangerous. For me to be who I am and have a fear such as this" I say.

"For years, I tried getting over it. Submerging myself in the bath, jumping into our pool. Every time- it ends up in me nearly passing out from a panic attack the second I get out. I managed to get to a point where showers no longer bother me, but that's as far as I got" I whisper. If anyone was to find out that me- the future heir to a fucking mafia was scared of water- I'd be either killed or overthrown by the end of the day.

"He did something to you..to cause that. Fears like that come from somewhere" Talia whispers, and I avoid her eyes, my eyes glued to my hand. I stopped moving it, and now it stays rested on her hip.

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