2 years ago Madeleine was a 24 year old nurse living her best life
Fast forward 2 years and she is now a single mum trying to balance doing a job she adored and a nurturing parent
Madeleine is about to come face to face with her daughters father aga...
It wasn't too late, only 9pm, but it was late enough for Thea when we returned to our peaceful street, which was beginning to rest. I bundled Thea out of the car and attempted to wake her up, which she did, but continued nuzzling into my neck.
As i entered our cosy home, i dropped our bags by the front door and switched on the lamps in the livingroom and kitchen. I then made my way up to the second floor to get Thea ready for bed. While turning on the night light and white noise, i got Thea dressed for bed and gave her a bottle to drink. After i tucked her into bed, she fell asleep almost immediately. I was in desperate need of some downtime, as i closed her door and took a few deep breaths.
Although i loved my job as a senior charge nurse at Kings College Hospital in London, i couldn't help but feel guilty about how much time my daughter had to spend in the care of others. I had just finished my 3rd 12 hour shift of the week, and during that time i had barely seen Thea awake. i was fortunate that the hospital where i worked had a nursery for staff members' children and i was able to drop in whenever i liked. The reality, however was that as a senior charge nurse on a busy acute medical unit, i seldom had time to grab lunch or empty my bladder, never mind stroll down to the nursery.
Two years ago Madeleine was a care free, bubbly 24 year old nurse living her best life in a city that she adored, doing a job that she was born to do. She was now a single mum trying to find a workable balance between being a dedicated nurse and a nurturing parent.
I took a long hot shower while allowing myself to breathe in the steam from the hot water as it ran down my body. Knowing that i would probably have to see him again this weekend sent my mind racing at what felt like a thousand miles per hour; a thousand thoughts, a thousand feelings, a thousand scenarios. him being Thea's dad. Thea's dad, who was oblivious to the fact that his daughter even existed.
After drying off and finishing my skin care routine and brewing a cup of tea, i got myself cuddled up into bed and reached for my phone, making the foolish decision to check his social media.
I had spent the last two years making a concerted effort in avoiding checking how he was getting on in life. Although we had mutual friends, they had always made an effort not to bring him up. As i glanced over his posts, i was struck by how much he had changed and how much more attractive he had become. Without realising, i had spent almost an hour scrolling through comments, checking fan accounts and viewing his story highlights.
The motion of my thumb halted and i quickly scrolled back up to a post that i had previously ignored. It was a girl, or rather he was with a girl, and the two of them appeared very close.
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Did he have a girlfriend? and if he did why did the thought of that annoy me?
He had completely disregarded me after spending the most amazing week in Paris with him (the city where Thea was conceived) and i had been left completely heartbroken. Despite my previous scepticism of love at first sight and clique romance, I fell hopelessly in love with Charles over the week we spent together.
When i found out that i was pregnant i had made several attempts to get in touch with him, but every single message had been left unanswered.
While i was getting lost in my flashback of the previous year, i liked a post by accident.
"Shit!" I quickly unliked it and prayed to god that he would never notice. I took this as a sign to try and get some sleep. After turning off the light and rolling over on my side, i found that my mind still would not let me settle down enough for sleep; the memory of Charles continuing to haunt me like a ghost.
Two years earlier
As we stumbled our way through the hotel door, his lips crashed hard onto mine. Hungry. Desperate. My hands found his neck and wrapped around it, sending shivers down my spine as his mouth danced with mine. The mere touch of him triggered goosebumps to spread all over my body.
Stop
I turned over in bed again, determined to get some sleep. Get out of my head Charles.
