A Tin Man's Heart (A BBC Sherlock Story)

It Breaks Through My Soul

The room was frozen with shock and fear and Addison's eyes flashed open. Her mouth opened to say something but before she could say it another shot fired and Addison cried out. John was the first to rush forward to her and catch her before she could collapse to the ground.

Sherlock was stuck where he stood. His eyes were trained on the criminal on the ground. His face wasn't at all suprised, it was stuck in a sadistic smile. Sherlock didn't hear John yelling, yelling for him to call an ambulance. Sherlock couldn't see past the blinding anger that was welling up.

Sherlock Holmes didn't show emotion. His emotions were buried deep inside, but right in this moment he couldn't see straight, his breathing was ragged and if Jim weren't already dead Sherlock would've killed him himself. Suddenly a gruff hand grabbed Sherlock.

"Sherlock Holmes, listen to me Addison needs a hospital right now, now Sherlock." John shook Sherlock roughly. Sherlock's hands fumbled with his mobile as he called 911 and explained the situation calmly.

John was kneeling next to Addison, trying to stop the bleeding. Right through her side, hopefully just a graze. Sherlock knelt beside Addison surveying the wound. No, not a graze a gunshot wound. Bleeding profusely. Sherlock looked at John who seemed to be in deep concentration.

Sherlock really wanted to know, who killed Jim?

The ambulance arrived moments later. Addison was wisked off to the hospital, John rode with her. Sherlock went behind with Mycroft.

"It was you, you stopped the sniper." Sherlock stated.

"Yes." Mycroft answered slowly.

"Why?" Sherlock didn't even glance over as he spoke.

"Because despite what you may believe I do care about my niece." Sherlock didn't reply he just looked blankly out the window.

Upon arriving at the hospital John informed Sherlock that Addison had been taken back to surgery. Sherlock sank into one of the chairs sitting in the waiting room. John gave him a cup of coffee he didn't drink it. John told Sherlock Addison would probably be okay, the wound didn't seem to hit anything major. Sherlock wasn't having it. He didn't listen at all.

A nurse appeared out of the doors of the OR and told them she was almost done and everything was going fine. Sherlock visibly relaxed in his seat and drank his coffee.

After she was out of surgery and deemed safe to have visitors Sherlock and John went up to her room. She was pale, a little more than usual, and her cheeks weren't as rosy but other than that she seemed to look alright. Sherlock sat at the chair diagonal from her. John shot him a questioning look.

Sherlock didn't want to be close to Addison when she was in pain. He never liked it when she was sick or hurt not even when she was a child. He didn't know why but it actually caused him pain to see  her hurting.

***

Addison woke up in the hosptal, John was asleep in the chair beside her bed and Sherlock was pacing at the foot of her bed. A weak smile appeared on her face, "You're going to wear a path in the floor if you keep that up." Addison rasped out. Sherlock froze and turned.

"How do you feel?" Sherlock asked sitting on the edge of her bed.

"I'm thirsty." Addison said bluntly. Sherlock handed her a glass of water and she drank thirstily.

"Does your side hurt?" Addison shook her head.

"Not really, no."

"You're lying." Sherlock replied.

"You lie all the time." Addison retorted. Sherlock sighed.

"I'm... sorry Addison." Sherlock said softly.

"Sorry doesn't fix anything, father." Addison replied coldly.

"You believe Jim? He's manipulating you, Addison!"

"No, he doesn't lie, you do. All you do is lie! I'm so sick of it, so sick of you." Sherlock's heart clenched.

"I've just been running all over London in search of you! Was ready to die for you, what do I have to do to prove myself to you Addison, what?"

"I don't want you to look for me, I don't want to live with you anymore. You don't really care you never have. I was just some stupid experiment because you were bored!"

"Do you not realize that as a parent I have become attached to you, no matter what I do I can't just leave you or lose you!" Sherlock yelled.

"Oh well you didn't seem to have a problem doing that when you were high or looking for your next fix! Don't try and act like you take care of me, John takes care of me, Mycroft, Grandma, Mrs. Hudson, Lestrade, Molly not you! You don't do anything except worry about stupid cases or your stupid games with Moriarty!" Addison was crying now. John had woken up sometime during the fight.

Sherlock didn't know what to say, there was no excuse for what he'd done.

"I solve cases not only for the thrill Addison I do it to keep you safe. That's one less criminal." Sherlock tried.

"I used drugs in a desparate attempt to shut down my mind after your mother died because all I could do was see you clinging to your mum crying so loudly." Sherlock stopped, and seemed to compose himself.

"I'm sorry Addison, my intentions were always good."

"Just, leave... Get away from." Addison said glaring at Sherlock.

Sherlock walked out without another word. John looked at Addison's who was still silently crying.

"How can you do that to him, Addie? He is trying so hard to make things up to you. Don't you remember the empty feeling of him being gone? Don't you remember your nightmares? You screamed for him. Do you remember seeing him lowered into the ground? You sang at his funeral and you sounded so broken so lonely. How can you just blame him?" John was looking at Addison sadly. His eyes were sad and disappointed. Addison looked down.

"I don't want to be here John, I don't want to be alive. I live with so much shame. Do you know what's happened to me over these last few months? First I get kidnapped and tortured and raped, and then my dad comes back but not just my dad but my mother too! After getting back both of my dead parents I'm kidnapped and beat and then I might lose my dad all over again? I can't lose him again John, I just can't and I won't, I absolutely will not." Addison stared into John's eyes puting her guard down for the first time in months. For the first time since Sherlock's fall he saw how truly broken Addison was.

"Then don't lose him Addison, don't let him go."

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So. I hope this makes up for the cliffhanger!

Not many chapters left maybe one or two not sure!

I will now take special requests of snapshots you liked to see!

Birthdays, baby Addison, anytime in Addison or Sherlock's life!

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