Everything's gonna work out just fine

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Marshall Lee's POV

I felt real bad for just leaving like that. I bet Fi probably hates me now.

I got up from my couch and went into the kitchen to get a snack.
I actually sit on the couch more often since I had replaced it with a much more comfortable one.

I pulled open the refrigerator door and pulled out a bright red apple. Leaning on the counter, I brought the fruit up to my mouth to drain its color, but was interrupted by my phone buzzing in my pocket.

'What horrible timing.'

I set my snack down on the counter to answer it. When I looked at the phone I sighed. It was just a message from LSP'S stupid blog.

I was just about to close my phone and continue my evening, when something caught my eye. Fionna's name. I started reading.

Drama Bomber Daily

Today, Aaa's greatest hero, Fionna the human, discovered some totally globbing secrets!

So, like, me and Gumball (my main man; partner in crime; amigo; homie-G) were planning for this lumping awesome par-tayy, when that couger Ice Queen broke through the castle walls and snatched him up!

So I was like "Oh nahh, not on my watch!" So I tried to make her release him without using brute force, because everyone knows, you don't hit ladies (even if they are penguin-dooty crazy).
But my passive aggressive plan failed and I was taken a-hostage.
Anyway, getting to the juicer parts.

Fionna burst through the doors (without Cake for whatever reason) and she looked ready to completely DESTROY that Ice Queen!
But the couger had managed to take her sword and SLICE HER LEG ALL UP! I'M NOT EVEN LUMPN' KIDDING, THERE WAS BLOOD EVERYWHERE AND EVERYONE WAS TOTALLY FREAKING THE LUMP OUT! Except for me, of course. I was being calm collected.
But wait! There's more!

The Ice Queen, about ready to kill Fionna, announces that SHE'S CAKE'S LUMPING ADOPTIVE MOM!
And Fionna. Looked. PISSED.

The next thing I know Fionna is like, enilating the Ice Queen! Me and PG had escaped that cage thanks to my strong, muscular lumps, and we had to pull Fionna away from the crazy old bat and take her to the Candy hospital to fix her leg.

Ok, you all have heard the juice, but now it's time for you all to here the nectar!!

So, Fionna and Gumball were left alone in the hospital room, and I totally saw everything! PG was all, "Fionna, I lumpn' love you! I love you more than science! Please be my globbing princess, Fionna!" And then he totally kissed her! Like full on lip contact!
But like, Fionna pushed him away, totally rejecting him. And she was all like, "Oh my glob, go away, Gumball! I'm in love with Marshall Lee! His hair is swooshy and his cheekbones are sO riGHT!!"

I was so shocked to witness all of this. I was like, "DRAMA BOMBS!"

~Article by LSP

Ooookay then. I'm pretty sure most of this is exaggerated. But that doesn't change the fact that that wad of gum layed a smooch on my Fionna!

I'm gonna bite his head off, chew it up, and stick it under a desk.
I can't believe that all of this happened only less than two hours ago. If I hadn't left her like that, none of this would have happened.

I looked out the window. It was pouring outside. Even though my house is in a cave, I could still hear the raindrops.

I wonder what Fionna is doing right now. Hopefully she was safely back at the tree house.