MY ACTOR | woosan

chapter forty

the bitter taste in his mouth plagued everything he ate, making him want to throw up immediately. helpless, wooyoung dropped his face into his palms, trying to calm himself down. what did choi san even mean to him that he was acting like this?

up until that moment he was completely confident that he knew what he wanted. he was certain that despite their kiss, despite the fact that wooyoung liked it, he definitely didn't like choi san. he was sure of that. was. 

"mirae, i'm sorry, but can we save this for another time? i'm really not feeling well," wooyoung gave up, not being able to take the twisting and turning in his insides any further. mirae nodded slowly, watching helplessly with a stunned look on her face as wooyoung stood up from his seat and left the restaurant.

god, what am i even doing?

with every passing second a thousand confusing thoughts were popping up in his brain like a game of whac-a-mole, almost every single one of them cursing either choi san or himself. he was bothered by enough questions already and had no space left to wonder where his feet that had a mind of their own were taking him. wooyoung finally succeeded in hailing down a taxi in the busy road.

"where to, sir?" the driver asked, adjusting his rear view mirror. 

"hannam apartments, please," wooyoung responded without hesitation. even his tongue seemed to have a mind on his own. his body seemed to take full control of him as his conscious was lost far too deep in his thoughts.

for the entirety of the 10 minute drive, wooyoung's leg bounced up and down rapidly and his heart still pounded loudly in his chest, loud enough for him to hear. his mind was still in shambles and though it had been minutes, he failed to calm his system down. every single thought that polluted his headspace came together like pieces in a puzzle and painted a picture of choi san's stupid face. his body warmed up in blind rage at the very thought of it. 

the driver finally arrived at their destination though the ride felt like an endless one and wooyoung quickly paid him, getting out of the car. his feet still seemed to act on their own will and he looked up at his tall apartment building amongst the big complex, still not stopping in his tracks. the churning in his stomach only intensified to the point that it almost began to hurt him. the very thought of confrontation and conflict upon seeing choi san again made him feel both sick and enraged. 

wooyoung hurriedly scanned his card on the keycard entry system at the entrance of the apartments. fridays were san's only off-days and it was a saturday, meaning choi san wouldn't be home at a time like this if he was working overtime. the high possibility of it seemed to quietly pass by wooyoung who was unable to make proper judgements due to his sudden and inexplicable frenzy of anger. he made his way into the elevator and practically violated the button to his floor due to the vigor with which he pressed it. even the way up which usually took approximately seven seconds seemed to last an eternity.

every maddening function taking place within him—the hasty beating of his heart against his ribcage, the fire originating from the pits of his stomach that rose and engulfed everything else it touched, the million queries swirling in his headspace—stopped as soon as the elevator doors opened to the very person wooyoung had marched all the way there to see. all he could feel now was point-blank anger.

"wooyoung?"

wooyoung stared back at choi san whose face was exposed. he held a black mask in his hand and a stunned expression was etched on his face. he could probably feel the rage emitting off of wooyoung in strong waves, seeing how he didn't immediately jump to making corny jokes and cheeky comments. at the very sight of him, wooyoung let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

choi san slowly sauntered into the elevator and like predator to it's prey, wooyoung saw his chances and grabbed san by his button-up shirt, slamming him against the wall. 

"what kind of games are you playing with me?" wooyoung hissed and tightened his grip, but san didn't seem to react. he only furrowed his eyebrows, not even half as stimulated as wooyoung. 

san's warm hands engulfed wooyoung's gently. "wooyoung, what's this about?" he asked sternly. for the third time, his face was just inches away from wooyoung.

"are you really gonna act like you don't know?!" wooyoung practically yelled in his face. still, san didn't even flinch. all he did was study wooyoung's face in search for answers since wooyoung was so against saying it with his own mouth.

"no, i don't know because you won't tell me," he countered. his eyes were as serious and demanding as they were the night he barged into wooyoung's house, dripping wet from the rain. "hey, by any chance, is this about that article? the one about semi and i?"

wooyoung didn't answer that, but san had always been able to see through wooyoung like glass and he read wooyoung's silence even better. san's eyebrows loosened up and he sighed. "look, it's all a misunderstanding," he explained, carefully loosening wooyoung's grip on his shirt. "those pictures you saw, they were snips of deleted scenes taken from that drama semi and i starred in together."

"and how can i believe anything you say?" wooyoung responded. his voice had fallen down to almost a whisper. 

"i could ask you the same thing, jung. you were the one that said you didn't want to take things further with me just yesterday, don't you remember?" san mentioned gravely. his anger, unlike wooyoung's, was more calm, silent and kept-together, making it all the more intimidating. "it's hardly been a day, so why are you back here, huh? aren't you the one that's playing games with me?"

wooyoung swallowed his spit. after being handed the truth so maturely, he didn't know how to feel. all that anger and rage that bubbled within him amounted to nothing in the end. he had always been a calculated and smart person but the one time he decided to act on his instincts and let all of his messy thoughts guide him, things had to end up in a mess like this.

unable to make the situation better with words, for the very last time, wooyoung refrained from thinking twice and clicked the buttons that closed the elevator door, and with his hands still tightly gripping choi san's shirt, wooyoung passionately pressed his lips against san's.