What's Your Poison

24 - Love Out Loud

Mission

I pulled myself to my feet reluctantly. Difficult when your balls were heavy and swollen, crushed together by my throbbing, hard cock. I resisted the urge to palm my desperate package, knowing my welcome was very much limited.

One week since Jade let me taste her.

I'd taken to knocking on her door each morning, slipping in and rousing her with my tongue. Seeing her bleary eyes warm at the sight of me was always enough to keep me coming back. Her soft, throaty cries rising in a crescendo she muffled against her pillow. But this time she'd dragged me up to the apartment above the new bar.

I laid her out on the kitchen bench and fed, just like the first time. Jade stared up at me, almost unseeing, chest heaving as she gathered herself.

Unraveling her on my tongue was an addiction. The more she gave me, the greedier I became. I itched to slide my fingers over her nipped waist, to reacquaint myself with her body. Her flesh was a delicacy I craved, needing to taste every inch. Her beautiful openness shrank in the wake of her orgasm. The warmth and hunger in her gaze leeched away. Becoming remote and cold. She closed her legs, avoiding me while hitching her shorts over her hips. I was satisfied to see red fingerprints painted on her skin. Jade bucked wild in my hold today and I'd had to hold and pin her down more forcefully than before. I wished there was some way to provoke her into marking me. Even out of anger. I would welcome the sting of her touch.

I knew Jade justified this to herself as if it were nothing. Her body was safe with me. I knew how to please her and was more than willing. It would be rare to find a man who would solely give and not say a word about reciprocation.

Jade knew she could be selfish with me, as I once had been with her.

She fussed with her belt, longer than necessary. Her cheeks still had a high flush, and I wished I could drag her down and make her scream under me again. I leaned against the bench, folding my arms tight over my chest.

"I think I need a minute." She said finally, brushing her hair from her face. I didn't argue, dropping my chin in a brief nod. Before she could say anything else, like this was a mistake and we can't keep doing this. Or this was the last time. I jogged down the stairs, arousal deflating.

I wouldn't give up this closeness with Jade, but there was a sharp edge to the pleasure. Because I wanted to hold her afterwards, bury my nose in her soft hair. My stomach twisted, and I leaned against the doorway to the bar, catching my breath against the sudden ache.

Jade was mine. She just didn't want to concede yet. I ignored the part of me that whispered it was useless to try. Jade had already been hurt enough, and I hadn't known how well her heart sat in my hands until I crushed it. I'd been a different person when the cruel words had spewed out of my mouth. Jade lit up my world, and I was being dragged back into the darkness.

"Can you latch the door open?" Wings huffed as he hauled in a box. Jade had got over her indecision and wavering self esteem to pitch her idea of bar decor. She called it Sleepless Knights Lite. Her lip curled around the moniker and I was instantly on board. Being unbiased around my wildcat was impossible. Taking the grunge, the grit, and turning this place into the opposite of Hanks. But still accessible to those who wanted to dip their toe in. Jade had jostled me with her elbow and said that meant I couldn't lurk in any of the booths glaring at anyone who spoke to her.

They could try. Jade didn't need my protection, but it wouldn't stop me from being overbearing, anyway. Some things never change.

"So," Wings waggled his eyebrows, dropping the box with a grunt. "Did you get some things 'discussed' with Jade?"

I leaned against the doorway with a lazy grin.

"Yeah, I'd say we're on the same page now."

"What page is that?" Wings lifted his shirt to drag down his face. I didn't blame him for being nosy. Jade might think she's good at hiding her emotions, but she had no poker face. Her subtle tug on my cut and excuse about discussing glassware did not go unnoticed.

Jade was too effervescent to fly under the radar. Her desires writ too loud on her face, enormous eyes spilling over with want. Not me, specifically, but I'd take it. If it meant she didn't go looking elsewhere. I wouldn't give up until I had her again. I wasn't going to tell Wings any of that, though. My big mouth had hurt her before and I would never make that mistake again.

"We definitely need white and red wine glasses. Who'd have thought?" I huffed, playing dumb. Wings gave me a crooked grin, carding a hand through his dirty blonde hair. His other hand motioned, telling me to go on. When no more information was forthcoming, the smile dropped.

"Did the conversation drain you?" He tried again, teasing. My cock had softened from inattention, but at the idea of being sucked dry it twitched. I scowled at my friend, knowing he was taking great pleasure in my pain.

"You're a fucking dickhead, you know that?" I growled at him. Wings tossed back his head and laughed.

"You used to give me so much shit when I was pining for Tay, fairs fair. The great Mission, brought to his knees by a pint-sized firecracker." Wings popped open the top of the box, peering inside before he continued. "You going to give up? Plenty of club girls just waiting for you to give them the nod."

My head jerked back, and I snarled at the visceral acid that coursed up my throat. I choked on it for a moment, breathing through the sting, the fire and burn. I stared at him, incredulous. After everything I'd been through, that Jade had been through. Did he really think I was going to give up? Did I look like a man who was faltering? My shoulders pulled back, straining with taut tension.

"You're right. I gave you shit when you were moping after Tay like a kicked dog. Hanging for her meagre scraps. But I didn't understand what I do now." I strode into the bar, clamping my hands to my hips so I didn't lay him out. "If I wanted sex, I could get it. But it's not her body I'm chasing, it's everything. So yeah, now I'm the one desperate for scraps. Because even a speck from Jade is better than anything anyone else could give me. I'm not giving up. I'll never give up."

Wings nodded, eyes drifting over my shoulder. The back of my neck prickled, and I spun on my heel. Jade was standing in the doorway, fingers curled around the latch, holding it open. Her mouth slightly parted, forehead furrowed and silent. Silent and still.

I swallowed. Hard. But I didn't explain or apologize. This wasn't news for her. But maybe it was? Her hand fluttered to her neck and as she sucked in a sharp breath. The flush I'd put in her cheeks was still there and I devoured the sight. Jade's wide, dark eyes traveled the length of me, like she was scanning for discrepancies.

How many times did I tell her what I'd just told Wings? Frustration licked at my insides before petering out, bitter with understanding. I'd said it in private, I'd said it in whispers. My hands on her skin screamed at how I felt for her. But I could see the difference.

Once upon a time I'd trashed Jade to Wings, veins thick with raw, dark anger. Now I'd confessed my truth to Wings again. But instead of eviscerating her, Jade heard my devotion. Not as a tactic to seduce her or as manipulation or games.

She didn't trust me until she heard me say it to someone else, not knowing she was listening.

Her lashes shuttered, and she swept by me with considerable effort. Jade had never had someone scream from the rooftops for her before. I was that person. She needed my love loud and open. Proud and strong.

I would give her whatever she wanted, if shewould only call me hers.