What's Your Poison

18 - Hard Choices

Jade

Coral's eyes widened in the doorway, and she spun around on her heel. My stomach danced a little at her reaction, but I tried not to let it show on my face too much. Carol was still the Matriarch of the club, even if she hadn't stepped foot in here for months. Her fading brown hair was wrapped in a leopard print scrunchie and a leather cut that named her Frame's old lady. The first time I'd walked into Savage Sons, I had wanted one of those elusive leather cuts. The women who had them were protected. Without it, you were nothing.

"I can see your touch on the place, Jade." She held out her arms to me. "You've really made it your own."

I melted into her motherly embrace. "What brings you here?" I asked, curious what brought her to a place that had too many terrible memories for her to stay.

"Frame and I have an appointment and I need to make sure he's on time, not like the last one." Her eyes narrowed as Frame rushed around the corner with his hands up.

"I'm here, woman!" He smacked a kiss on her cheek, hand reaching down to squeeze her rear. I walked back behind the bar, watching them with unrestrained desire. They had been married since they were nineteen, and were still as amorous and devoted as ever. Frame was a wonderful role model for the younger guys in the club. You could still be a biker and monogamous. With Prez being perpetually single, it was good for them to see a healthy relationship. Iron didn't have any attachments, apart from indulging in a curvy girl once every blue moon.

My heart squeezed painfully as Frame whispered in Coral's ear and darted to the entrance. A soft smile played on her lips as she noticed me watching them.

"How are ya, love?" Coral asked, "the bar looks great, you don't miss working the boys?"

I shook my head, quashing the urge to snort. I missed some parts, the ability to let go, to have my decisions made for me. The flick of fingers or tilt of a head that let me know they needed my body. It was easy being a club girl at Sleepless Knights. All the guys here were rough around the edges, but they weren't rough with me. At least not before asking first. Working the bar was different. There wasn't a clear cut way to know if I was doing a good job. But the pride I had from seeing the booths filled and the music pumping made me feel complete.

"It's different. But I'm enjoying it."

"I know what you mean. When I transitioned to being behind the bar, it was a shock to the system at first. But if anyone can get the hang of it, you can."

I straightened, tilting my head to the side.

"You were a club girl?"

Coral planted her hands on her shapely hips and waggled them suggestively.

"How do you think I snagged Frame? He made all the club girls go wild, but it was me he wanted." Her smile took on a wistful edge. "I thought Mission, and you were going to have a similar love story, if I'm honest."

My curiosity dimmed at the mention of Mission. I shrugged nonchalantly, rubbing at an invisible spot on the bar.

"Frame tells me the boy is torn up in knots about you still. You going to give him a second chance?"

"He's a man, not a boy, and I only ever let someone break my heart once." I couldn't help the sharp edge in my voice. Coral didn't seem ruffled by it, distracted by Frame calling her at the door.

"I better go, or I'll be the one making us late." She tapped the bar. "If you need anything, call me."

I blew her a kiss and wandered back into the kitchen, my mouth suddenly dry. I didn't need any other voices joining the chorus that thumped in my chest. Mission had said he loved me, and damn, but it crumbled my walls. So weak. Frustration picked at the edges of my insides. Nothing seemed to make me forget the way his eyes had widened, like I could see right into the back of his soul. His heated skin pressed against mine, like a brand. If I stayed here, I was going to fall in love with him again. But honestly? I'd never stopped and I don't know what I would do if he told me he loved me again. I had always been a fool for love. An idea I'd been considering turned over in my mind. My stomach roiled. I didn't want to do it. But I couldn't let my heart wrench control of my brain.

"I don't want to." I whispered to myself, my fingers cutting into my palms.

Give up the bar. Take the money I'd saved and disappear. My dad had already been looking, but I was sure he hadn't realized I was hiding right under his nose. Maybe it was time to leave this world. I'd stepped into it at sixteen. The politics of club life had steadily polluted my sweetness and innocence. Zach had wanted to go overseas, but I had barely left the state. I rubbed my fingers on my forehead. When had this place become a home? Was it when I saw beneath Taylor's quiet mask and found a best friend? I knew every inch of this bar, like it was my own and my heart ached. It might have belonged to Sleepless Knights, but it was mine. I'd put so much time and effort into it. Leaving felt like giving up. Why did I have to be the one to leave? My shoulders slumped as the realization washed over me. The club was Mission's home first and that would never change. I dashed my morose thoughts when Dixie stumbled into the room. Her hand covered her mouth, stifling quiet sobs.

"Are you alright?" I caught her in my arms, and she latched onto me like I was an anchor.

"Do you ever hate your heart?" She whispered, pulling away to wipe at her cheeks angrily. Blotchy pink patches rose on her pale skin.

"All the time." I chuckled darkly. "Has Rooster done something?"

I didn't understand what my friend had with the quiet biker. But it had seemed real. Rooster watched her constantly, obsessively. I welcomed the distraction from Mission. Dixie wouldn't be drawn into conversation, though. She slipped her phone out of her pocket and slid it over to me.

"He doesn't matter." Her voice warbled, bitter. "We have bigger problems. Both of us."

She tapped the screen, and I looked over to read the message there.

I know where you are. I know Danni is with you. Be good girls and come back. You won't like what will happen if you don't. Don't let another club go down in flames because you were too silly to do as you're told.

I shivered, hearing Hammerhead's demanding voice in my head as I read the words.

"Do you think it's true? That Savage Sons really know we're here?" I chewed on my thumbnail.

They couldn't have found us. I had been doing as Mission asked and staying at the club just in case, and to avoid Sean if he was still around.

"It's possible. They have to make good on the deal they made. Can't do that without both of us."

I shook my head, pacing to calm the frenetic energy that wrapped around my limbs.

"What did Rooster say?" I asked, and Dixie winced.

"He said he's sick of looking after me." Her voice was barely a whisper when she answered, and a fiery rage gripped my throat.

"He said what?"

"It doesn't matter. My dad will stop at nothing to get me again, and yours will do the same." The emotion on Dixie's face wiped away, and I knew to think. I stuffed the anger down until it almost choked me. Rooster's balls would feel the full impact of my foot later. I hesitated before blurting out.

"I had been thinking about leaving. Why don't we go together?"

Dixie's hitched breathing was the only sound as I froze, waiting to see if she agreed. Her lashes fluttered against her cheek, and she lay a hand over her heart. As if trying to stem the erratic pounding. Mine was doing the same. Finally she looked at me, shaking her head once.

"And go where? We'll always be running. I just want to be free of that nightmare club."

I reached out and clamped our hands together. I knew her fears, felt them the same way. Savage Sons had carved scars on each of us that only we could understand. It had been hard on Dixie, being the Prez's daughter, just like it had been for me as the Vice Prez's. But I at least had my half-brother, Zach, to shield me.

The only man I'd ever loved, who would always love me back. He'd given up everything for me to have my freedom, and I wasn't about to make a stupid mistake and fall back in the clutches of Savage Sons again. I drew my shoulders back and huffed a hefty sigh.

"If you don't want to run, we need to tell Iron."

"Tell Iron what?"

Mission growled from the doorway. His eyes like smoldering coals.