CAPTIVE | JIKOOK

I Miss You

Jimin opens his eyes to an orange glow of light on the ceilings and the walls. The usually dull room is beautiful, filled with a peachy golden light. He blinks lazily as he slowly wakes up.

After a few moments, Jungkook shifts beside him and groans, and Jimin remembers.

The scraping of metal on wood is heard and then the knocks come. He frowns as he looks at the door. 'They are early.'

Then he realizes that they've slept all day. He is watching the rays of a dying sun. He climbs out of bed and pushes the dishes from their breakfast under the trap door. Dinner is pushed back under.

Jimin cuts the over-cooked sausage into bite-size pieces and tries to feed Jungkook who isn't much into eating. Jimin eats because he's still worried that food may not be available tomorrow. It hasn't been withheld yet, but he's not sure when or if it will be. He has a sneaking suspicion that if he ever gets out of this place, he is going to have serious food issues.

As he eats and tries to coax Jungkook to eat, the light fades. When there's only enough light to make out shapes, he climbs back into the bed with Jungkook. They are both restless, each for their own reasons; Jimin because he spent all day sleeping and Jungkook because he is presumably hurting.

They adjust and wiggle trying to find positions that are comfortable. Jungkook lifts up and turns over towards Jimin, his head fitting neatly under Jimin's chin, his breath ghosting along Jimin's collarbone. It tickles.

Jimin slips an arm under the space between Jungkook's neck and the bed. He wraps his arm around so that his fingertips rest on Jungkook's head, tickling his ear in response to the breath on his neck.

It doesn't feel intimate, not like the other times. It feels like he's doing it for Jungkook, to comfort him, to help him, because he's doing it for a reason, he doesn't feel guilty this time.

"Jungkook?"

Jungkook hums in response.

"Jungkook, do you have any siblings? You know; brothers or sisters?" He hopes those words he remembered during their studying sessions.

"Uh-huh." Jimin feels him shake his head: no.

"Me neither." He pauses to collect his thoughts and smiles into Jungkook's hair. "My mom said that when I was five, I told her that I wanted a brother, but that the next week my neighbor got a bike. She said that I told her that I had changed my mind and I wanted a bike instead. I got a bike that year for my birthday and I never asked for a brother again."

He knows Jungkook isn't getting this, and probably isn't even getting half of it. But it feels good to talk. He didn't realize how little he has said out loud since he has been here. It feels good to talk, even if it is just for himself.

"I miss my mom and dad." he sighs, overcome with grief. He hasn't yet allowed himself to think about them. He's still not really ready to deal with this. To think of them means that he has to think about the stark contrast between the past and the present, which cuts his heart like razorblades in his bloodstream. He swallows the thoughts down like a bitter pill and wipes away a tear with the tips of his fingers.

"You know what else I miss?" he asks, not expecting an answer. "Food that doesn't taste like burnt bricks." He laughs lightly.

With his upper hand he picks up a few of Jungkook's locks of hair, fisted them, and followed them from root to tip; allowing his mind to wander. "I wonder what you're really like, Jungkook. Do you think we're alike? We both come from so far away and yet here we are together. I'm boring you, aren't I? You're bored to tears listening to me ramble on." He laughs a breathy laugh.

"I am much too awake for my own good right now and seeing as there so many ways to occupy my time around here..." he gestures with his free arm like a game show model, "...I'm going to torture you with memories from my childhood. Now let's see, what else can I remember?"

He picks up a few more locks of his hair and follows them from root to tip while he dregs up a memory.

"Oh I got one!" he says, a little too loudly. He lowers his voice with his next sentence. "The summer I was twelve, I was spending with my dad, who was working in the backyard building a box. He was always building boxes; I don't think he could make anything else. I don't think he's very creative, but he still wanted to build shit." He smiles and shook his head at the memory, trying to make sense of the past.

"He was working on a hand-me-down table saw and my mom had told him years before that he needed to get a safety guard on it, but he never got around to it. So he was pushing a piece of wood into the blade and it hit it wrong; the wood bounced out away from the blade and my dad kept going forward. He came up to the house, bleeding all over and yelling for me call 119, that he needed an ambulance. His hand was all mangled up and there was blood everywhere. He was lucky; in the end, he only lost two fingers and part of his thumb. He was in physical therapy for like a year to regain the use of his hand." He laughs when he remembers his nickname for his father: "I call him Stubby."

Jimin tells Jungkook stories late into the night until they both fall asleep.

.

Jimin is so deeply asleep that he does not wake until they are pulling Jungkook over his body. He blinks against the bright light, unable to open his eyes fully, from exhaustion as well as the light. However, once he is fully awake he is panicked.

They close the door and the sound of metal on wood can be heard. 'How can they take him again so soon? It can't have been more than 24 hours.'

He waits to hear a sound that he doesn't want to hear.

He waits, staring up at the ceiling, in a bed that feels empty and cold.

He waits until he finally falls asleep, never hearing the dreaded sound of Jungkook being hurt.

.

He wakes to the sound of metal on wood followed by two knocks on the door. He pushes last night's dinner dishes under the trap door and receives one breakfast.

It is a stark reminder of the fact that he is alone. Would it be forever? Was Jungkook gone? Would he come back? Was what happened to Jungkook the preview of what would happen to him? He sits on the bed with his breakfast, unable to will himself to eat it.

He sits for hours on their bed, cold and terrified of being alone. Jungkook made this hell bearable. Without Jungkook; he doesn't know how he will survive.

He listens for any sounds, there are none, like usual. He wonders idly if they are really quiet, or if it is just that well insulated.

After hours of sitting on the bed, staring at the breakfast dishes, he hears the sound of metal on wood and two knocks. Is it really that late? He can't imagine how the day could have gone by so quickly.

But then again, he has felt every minute tick by in his aching heart. It all feels so cliché, and yet so painfully true, he didn't think he'd ever miss anyone the way he misses Jungkook right now. He pushes the breakfast dishes under the door and receives a single dinner.

He leaves it next to the door and climbs into bed. He can't eat. He doesn't want to be conscious anymore. He wills himself to sleep, which thankfully comes quickly.

.

He opens his eyes in the darkness. There is nothing in the darkness that stands out, but he is awake and he knows this time it isn't of his own volition. There is no sound, no movement, no light, but he knows he's awake because of them.

His heart hammers in his chest. Are they coming for him this morning? Will they drag him out of bed? Will they mark his skin like they have marked Jungkook's?

He doesn't care. Without Jungkook he has no fight left in him. How strange that Jungkook has become his reason for living. Not his mom, his dad, but Jungkook? It doesn't make sense, but nothing does anymore. When the world around you is crazy the only logical action is to become crazy too.

Ah, there it is, the quiet steady thumping begins. They are coming.

He breathes in deeply to steady his breath. 'Let them come!' He doesn't care. 'Let me die, let this nightmare be over.' He scratches a tickle in his ear and realizes that his finger is wet. He is puzzled for a moment, but then wipes the tears from his cheeks. 'Let this be over.' He is desolate.

The sound of metal on wood can be heard. The door is pulled open, but he can see nothing. The absence of the blinding light is terrifying. They keep changing their pattern, the rules of their game. He can never catch up.

He can hear them. They are close. He hears breathing. He feels currents of air wafting around the room by their movements. He hears the sound of something being dropped. The sound of quiet footsteps. And finally the sound of metal on wood. Then it is quiet.

He hears a groan and the soft sound of skin and material on concrete.

"Jungkook?" he says as he climbs out of bed, moving towards the sounds.

"Here," he hears Jungkook's voice.

They both reach out with an extended arm and a searching hand. When Jimin touches Jungkook's hand he curls his fingers around Jungkook's and pulls the boy towards him, wrapping his long arms around him, pressing his face into Jungkook's hair. He kisses the top of his head and inhales Jungkook's scent. Jungkook takes it with merely a grunt and a wince of pain.

They hold each other on the floor for endless moments. Then Jungkook tries to find a slightly more comfortable position, which is enough to shatter the tenuous moment.

Jimin stands and reaches for Jungkook's other hand, which is full, he is holding two tubes. Jimin holds one hand and the wrist of the full hand and pulls Jungkook to unsteady feet and then guides them to the bed, helping Jungkook in first and then following.

Jimin doesn't ask about the tubes, he merely takes them from Jungkook's hand and puts them on the floor next to the bed. He curls around Jungkook who has his face pressed to Jimin's collarbone. He slips an arm under the space between Jungkook's neck and the bed and wraps the other one around Jungkook, then wraps his upper leg around him as well pulling him as close as physically possible. He kisses the top of Jungkook's head again.

He has no words to explain to Jungkook the fear he had or the gratitude he has for getting him back.