CAPTIVE | JIKOOK

Washing Up

He opens his eyes in the dark. Something is different, different is bad. He lifts his head off the pillow and looks around the room for any change in the darkness. There is nothing that stands out, no sound, no movement, no light.

There is no change, but he can't get his heart to stop pounding in his chest or stop his body from shaking in fear. The shaking does not stop and is soon accompanied by shivering as he realizes his teeth are chattering. He feels goose bumps rise along his back, arms, and legs.

He drops his head back down on the pillow, pressing his face into Jungkook's hair, trying to find some form of comfort in Jungkook. He inhales deeply, inhaling Jungkook's smell. He's pretty sure this isn't normal, but what is 'normal' in his reality anymore?

Jungkook's scent is comforting, or perhaps it is the fact that he now has to focus to inhale through thick tendrils of brown hair which cut off half of his oxygen supply. Either way, by his second breath, he is feeling a little more composed.

There is a quiet steady thumping. Jimin frowns into Jungkook's hair. 'What is that?'

He gets his answer almost immediately as he hears the scrape of metal on wood. The door swings open and he is blinded by light so bright that he can barely open his eyes against it.

He feels Jungkook stir and wakes. Almost instantly, Jungkook is violently shaking next to him, not that Jimin needs this indicator to know to be terrified. The blinding light makes it impossible to make out details or see much of anything, which adds to his fear.

Suddenly there are two figures in the room with them. Jimin inches away from them, pressing against Jungkook, who presses himself against the wall.

The figures move towards the bed Jimin freezes in panic, completely unsure of anything he can do.

Time seems to be moving in slow motion but it doesn't seem to be able to give him more time to think. He is filled with fear; the kind that clears your mind of all thoughts, that makes your heart pound in your ears. The kind that floods your veins with adrenaline to run and fight and scream. But there is nowhere to run, it's a fight he can't win, and there's no one to hear him scream.

The figures move closer and closer until they are practically upon him. He draws the blankets up to his nose, torn between his need to see and his desperate want to hide like a small child away from the 'bad people'.

They reach towards the bed, towards him, towards Jungkook. All he can think is: 'Please not me, please not me, please not me.' He repeats this mantra over and over.

Before he can fully comprehend it, he feels Jungkook's weight pulled over his body, limp and not struggling. Jimin burrows deeper into the bed, trying to 'be invisible', hoping he will be forgotten, hoping they won't take him too.

They don't. He is left alone in the darkness with his fear and guilt.

Would they come back for him? No, WHEN would they come back for him? He is sure it's only a matter of time.

When he hears the noises from upstairs he fumbles his way to the wall with the toilet and empties the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He recognizes them, they were the first thing he heard, the first actual memory he had of this place.

His first memory is of the sounds of Jungkook being beaten.

A wave of nausea engulfs him again and he dry-heaves over the toilet, bringing up sour-tasting bile. Once the heaves subside he spits and fumbles his way to the sink, filling his mouth with water to rinse away the taste.

Then he tries to fill his stomach with water. He will probably be vomiting again and it feels better to actually vomit than to dry-heave.

He leans his back against the wall and slides down. He hears a strange noise like an empty whining cry and realizes he is crying out, sobbing his overwhelming fear and hopelessness into the darkness. Unable to quell his fear or stop his tears, he hysterically cries until he has nothing left.

Eventually, he falls asleep against the wall and the low rise of the quart circle which marks the shower stall.

.

Hours later Jimin jolts away from the sound of metal on wood. He stays frozen against the wall.

Jungkook is drug into the room and unceremoniously dropped on the floor. The two leave, but Jimin does not move until he hears the sound of metal on wood. Then he crawls across the room to Jungkook and wraps himself around him for both warmth and comfort. Whose warmth and comfort are subjective.

.

Jimin is woken by the siren. His head feels heavy and he aches all over from sleeping on concrete. He uncurls himself from around Jungkook. The siren echoes louder in his brain than in the room.

Jungkook was making small tired moans with each exhale like he can't get up the energy to keep up a steady moan, or like he wants to cry or say something but only has the energy for this.

Jimin lifts the curtain of hair from Jungkook's face and feels the urge to attempt to empty his already empty stomach into the toilet again.

If he thought what they had done to Jungkook's face before was bad, this was horrific! His face was red and puffy. He had a gash on his left eyebrow which had spilled blood down his cheek to his chin. The other eye was mauve and swollen shut so that his eye was a black slit of eyelashes. He had a large purple bruise on his left cheek and scrape marks on his cheekbone. His lips swollen, like his mouth had been hit over and over. His entire face red with abrasions, like it had been scrubbed clean before it was beaten into a paste.

"Oh Jungkook," Jimin sighs.

The siren starts to wind down and fade. Jungkook points to the quarter circle in the corner. Jimin's memory of that first morning with Jungkook is dim at best, but he does remember the first time he saw Jungkook after... He doesn't finish the thought, the grim reality is more than enough to deal with at the moment. He can only assume that his assumption about the shower being related to the beatings is correct.

He hoists Jungkook into a sitting position. Jungkook whimpers while being moved and cries out hoarsely when upright.

"I'm so sorry Jungkook," Jimin says. "I'll be as careful as possible."

Jungkook winces and barely nods. He lifts one hand to his top and pinches at it with fingers that are barely able to catch and lift the fabric.

Jimin sees his knuckles and also winces. They are scraped raw. They have hurt him so badly.

Jungkook continues to pinch at his top. "Auff," he breathes out the word.

"Ok," Jimin says with an apology in his voice, uncomfortable feelings set carefully aside so that he can help Jungkook. Jimin takes the hem of Jungkook's shirt and pulls it up and over Jungkook's head. Jungkook allows this, neither cooperative nor uncooperative.

Jimin moves behind Jungkook to haul him up, but stops, closing his eyes when he sees his back. His back is red and raw, the closest approximation would be raw meat. He has no idea what they have beaten him with to make his back look like this. He doesn't want to touch it.

He moves back to face Jungkook, placing one foot on either side of Jungkook's legs. He hooks his elbows under Jungkook's armpits and hoists him up on his feet, walking backward until he knows Jungkook's feet are under his body.

Jungkook moans out in pain as he is lifted. Jimin angles him to rest his shoulder against the wall. He checks that Jungkook is steady. Jungkook's face is contorted in pain and he is breathing hard.

Jungkook groans and then grabs at his trousers with one hand, with uncoordinated movements. His eyes are closed and his head is resting against the wall.

"Auff," he says.

Jimin freezes. He is being told to undress him. He is going to see Jungkook naked, again. A cold shiver runs up Jimin's spine. This feels so wrong. It would feel off to do this if yesterday hadn't happened, but it feels downright voyeuristic and upsetting to do this NOW.

Despite his fears and feelings, Jimin does as he is asked and pulls the waistband down on Jungkook's trousers and helps steady him as he untangles the trousers from Jungkook's feet. He tries not to look, but he can't help but stare at smears of old blood on the inside of Jungkook's legs.

Jimin inhales sharply, knowing the only reason for blood smears to be there. His stomach flutters as a wave of nausea crashes into him. 'How could they? After every other humiliating way they had treated them how could they...' He closes his eyes against the thought.

Jungkook grunts, distracting Jimin from his horror, and he motions toward the quarter circle in the corner.

"Vash," he says in an exhale of breath.

Jimin nods and sighs, grabbing at his own clothing, if Jungkook needs help getting undressed there is no way he'll be able to take care of washing himself.

He half carries, half drags Jungkook to the shower and holds him upright in the center.

Jimin gasps in shock and Jungkook groans as water suddenly falls in front of the faucet head. The water is shockingly cold at first and then warms up to lukewarm. Jimin soon discovers the little hidden soap shelf and begins lathering up his hands to wash Jungkook.

He rubs the soap over Jungkook's shoulders and chest. Then holds him as he washes his back. Jungkook cries out in pain at the first touch, then whines and groans out his discomfort at having his raw back washed.

He tries to avoid washing Jungkook too intimately but can't foresee when they will have the opportunity to shower again, and can't bare the idea of leaving blood crusted on any part of Jungkook. He's never washed anyone else before and is unsure of where and how to wash certain parts as well as thrown off by the intimacy of washing him in places he has not been given permission to touch.

Jungkook does not react to any part of him being washed. He does not give any indication that any place Jimin touches is inappropriate or too intimate. But Jimin can't help but feel guilt at touching him, again, without expressive permission, he didn't want to make that same mistake twice.

When Jungkook has been fully washed and rinsed, he helps him sit on the raised edge of the shower, leaning propped up against the wall.

Jimin quickly washes himself, unsure as to when he will have this luxury again, hoping it won't be too soon. After rinsing, he steps away from the streaming of water which turns off the moment after he walks away.

'Curious,' he thinks. But he does not have time to ponder. He takes his trousers, which he has just taken off, and uses them to dry Jungkook, then takes him to the bed, lies him down, and covers him with the threadbare blanket. Then takes his shirt and dries himself.

The two thumps come and he pushes last night's dinner dishes under the trap, as well as the old clothing. Breakfast is pushed under, along with two sets of new clothing and a box of crayons. The sound of metal on wood is heard, then silence.

Jimin dresses quickly and then dresses Jungkook. He feeds himself between spoonfuls which he feeds to Jungkook, who takes tiny bites and loses interest about halfway through.

When it is clear that Jungkook isn't interested in it anymore, Jimin puts the dishes down and climbs under the covers with him, wrapping himself around Jungkook, comforting him and himself.