Resurgence

22

We were miserable to say the least.. Brendan didn't want a religious ceremony so we were just gathered to support each other and talk about him. There was a picture of him that we had taken in Bonaire of him fishing and smiling at the camera. Sad piano music played in the background and Katya's wails as she clinged on to his casket for dear life were crushing.

I was standing with Jackson, my parents, and my sister. Heather and Kyra were speaking with Amy and Grayson. Finally, Devin, Brendan's father, made his way to the pew.

"I would like to thank everyone for coming to my son's service. I know he loved and cared for all of us here." Devin's voice was shaky. "Especially his fiancee, Erika."

I sighed sadly. I was so tired of crying but that was all I could do.

"My son and I spend a lot of time together. I wanted him to have the childhood that I didn't have. He was very overprotective of his younger siblings and he was excited to join the Agency. He was selfless and kind. Now he's with his ancestors and his grandmother who died a year ago." Devin sighed. Katya got on the podium and he moved out of her way.

"When I was younger, I dreamed of having an adorable little boy with curly hair. When I first got married to Devin, we lost three pregnancies back to back. Finally, I got my boy. I know it was only twenty three years that I got to keep up but I thank the Creator for those twenty three years he gave us with him." Katya started to sob again.

Amy and Grayson wanted to walk to the podium. Amy took a deep breath.

"Brendan was a great older brother. He was a great coworker too. He was always there for us. I don't know what I'm going to do anymore." Amy looked like she was trying not to cry.

"I miss him. I know we didn't see eye to eye sometimes but I still cared about him. I hate that I'm not going to get to play games with him again or do anything with him. I hate that I won't hear him again." He sighed and they both walked away from the podium.

Kyra walked up to the podium next.

"When I met Brendan, we were both new Agents and we had no idea what to do. I remember Amanda used to get on case all the time. Eventually, we got the hang of it. I enjoyed all of those missions that we had together. Thanks for the memories, old friend." She had tears running down her tears. I walked up to the podium. Everyone's eyes were on me.

"I met Brendan when he was assigned to protect my family. We ended up saving each other's lives. He died saving me again. He loved me and I loved him. It was a match made for heaven. I loved him so much, I don't know what to do anymore." I was starting to cry. "I miss him. I miss his scent, his voice, and I just miss him in general. I just hope that our child and him are together and enjoying themselves in the afterlife."

I walked away from the podium. Karenina went to the podium.

"I met Brendan when he was a trainee with Kyra. We all had a good time during our missions, trying to train those two and making sure no one died." Karenina sighed. "He saved our lives and the life of my daughter multiple times but we couldn't save him." She was crying. She walked away. Brendan's grandparents and other people spoke. His parents were planning on having him cremated.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I walked outside to go smoke a cigarette. That was something I had picked up from Kyra but at this point, I really don't care for myself. Amy and Grayson walked out.

"Hey, Erika, it's been a bit." Amy looked depressed despite her cheery tone.

"Hey." I respond rather weakly. "It has."

"Well, we wanted to see if you wanted to join us for drinks at the bar later." Grayson spoke. "If you're feeling up to it."

"I am." I responded. "Where and when?"

"At six pm at the Red Room." Greyson spoke.

"Who's gonna be there?"

"Us, Kyra, Karenina, Jackson and Heather. We'll be going out tomorrow with our cousins." Amy said.

I sighed. I guess I should head home and get ready. I join my parents who were speaking with some of Brendan's relatives. Katya was by his casket, looking depressed as hell. I wish I had words to comfort her but I didn't. We got in the car and my mother looked at me.

"How are you faring, Erika?" She asked me. I took a deep breath.

"I'm hanging in there. I wish this wasn't happening." That was as much as I felt comfortable telling them.

"I know, Erika. This year has not been your year." My mother spoke. It wasn't. Brendan and I had gone through so much shit and instead of coming out on top, he was dead and I was suicidal, angry, and drowning in my own grief.

"It hasn't. They invited me out to drink with them in honor of Brendan later." I say.

"Okay, is someone picking you up or did you want us to drive you and pick you up?" My mother asked.

"Damn, I forgot to ask." I sighed. "I'll find out."

"Alright, Erika." My mother sighed. "Did you want us to stop anywhere before we head back home?"

"Not really." I sighed. "I think I still have pads and other stuff in my room."

I closed my eyes. I wish this was just a bad, horrible nightmare. I wish I could wake up and see that Brendan was beside me, asleep and at peace instead of getting turned to ash in a crematorium. But that's not happening.