marble (part two)

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tw: like in part one
word count: 1k
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Y/n's POV

Bruce and Helen finished stitching up Natasha about half an hour later and after a long discussion with them I convinced them that it's best if we bring Natasha back to our room as she wouldn't be able to relax in a hospital-like room.

"Thank you" I say, turning back to Bruce "really" "Oh it's no problem at all, make sure she takes those antibiotics, okay?" he smiles and I tell him a quick goodbye before he leaves Natasha and me alone again.

Natasha is still sleeping off the sedative as I get in bed next to her. I place her in my arms so that I can hold her close but pay attention that no pressure is put on her fresh wounds. I reach for the remote of the TV and put on some random sitcom to play quietly in the background. I lie back comfortably with Nat's head on my chest and take one hand to run through her hair. "You're gonna be just fine, alright?" I mumble before pressing a kiss to her scalp.

-

My hand is still playing with her hair one and a half hours later as she starts to stir. "Natasha, hey" I whisper "Natty". Suddenly she shoots up, her head flying around as her eyes dart across the room "Nat" I say louder this time- her eyes meet mine- confusion, panic, worry- all things that shouldn't be in someone's eyes but are.

"Y/n?" she asks, tearing up "That's right, it's me, we're in our room" I tell her, taking her hands in mine.

She just stares at me for a minute before looking down on her- I clothed her in some t-shirt and pyjama shorts as we got here so that she has some clothes on her body when she wakes up. "My stomach hurts" she continues to mumble "You got stitches, remember?" I ask. She closes her eyes and her brows furrow slightly as probably a painful memory crosses her mind- either ways she goes on and gives me a nod. "Let's lie back down, yeah?" I suggest as it would relieve some pressure off the wounds "Mhm" she hums and let's me help her lie down in our previous position.

She holds tightly onto my shirt as we lay quietly for some time.

"Did something happen?" she asks suddenly "What?" I reply slightly confused

"Did something happen? You know, when I was out"

"Banner and Cho stitched you up, they had to give you some sedative, for your and their sake" I tell her, still confused as where this is going

"Yeah, I know, but did something happen?"

"Natasha, I don't get-"

"Did someone touch me?"

Oh. Oh God.

"No- No, Oh God, no. Natasha they just stitched you up, I was there the whole time, I promise"

"Okay" she whispers as if that's the most normal thing to ask.

"Natasha- did- did that happen to you at some point?" I ask, she hates talking about her past and normally I wouldn't push her into talking about it, but I can't just drop this after what the question is implying. She tenses slightly and her grip on me tightens before she slowly nods "all the time" she whispers. "Oh God, I am so incredibly sorry, Nat" I say, wrapping her in my arms harder

"I'm sorry for upsetting you" she apologies "No, I'm not upset with you," I say "you can always talk to me, just know that, okay?" and she nods again.

We've been together for around a year now and she's with SHIELD for two, and this is probably the most she revealed about her past with me. She still struggles with identifying her and others emotions and trusts barely anyone, nor she ever talks to anyone about her problems or anything at all.

"Is it normal?" she asks, interrupting my spiralling "That they- they touch you where you don't want them". "No, no it's not, no one should ever touch you where you don't want them to touch you, wether it's your arm, stomach or genitals" I tell her- it's hurts my heart that I have to teach a twenty years old woman about basic boundaries like that "Doctors here don't do that, okay?" "Okay"

"Do you want to talk about it more? It may help getting it of your chest" I suggest, guessing that she's somehow in a more talkative mood right now. She shrugs.

Minutes pass with us just starring at the TV, neither of us really paying attention.

"I think I was six when it happened the first time, I don't know though, birthdays was not something we celebrated" she whispers quietly. I don't even know what to say so I just hold her closer taking one hand in mine. "They did their weird check-up thing, but something was different that time, at the end they gave us something to make us sleep and as I woke up everything hurt and when- when I went to the toilet there was blood and something white, looking back I would say sperm. They gave us sedative and had sex with us, happened all the time after that" she tells me in a calm, quiet voice "That wasn't sex, Natasha, that was rape" I tell her at the brim of tears "Probably" she whispers, a single tears rolling down her cheek. "That was not okay from them to do, you understand that, right?" I ask, hoping, praying that she actually understands what was going on her whole life. She just gives me a hum and shrug as an answer.

"I'm tired" she mumbles "Okay" I say, my voice raspy because of the tears that want to escape my eyes "go to sleep, I'll stay here with you". "Thank you" she whispers, burying her head further into my chest, holding onto me like I'm her lifeline.

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I'll cry myself to sleep tonight, bye, the Red Room is the most disgusting thing to ever exist

also I'll go back to school tomorrow, TO A NEW SCHOOL, and I'm so fucking nervous helppp

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