I should be your Beta, not your Mate

Side-Story: 9

»It's fine,« he whispered to my surprise. »I get it.«

Did he?

I bit my lower lip and turned my head to hide my face in his shoulder. Tears welled up and I couldn't prevent them from overflowing.

»Cas. Hey. Wait! Are you crying? Oh God. Hey, hey, hey.« He cupped my face in his palms and made me look straight in his eyes.

Worry and panic filled the kind brown color.

»I just...« I croaked and couldn't hide the sob.

»It's okay.« He pushed me against him and pressed my face into his shoulder. I sobbed into it and couldn't stop my body from trembling. God, I was so pathetic.

»No more rules. I think we have enough,« he mumbled and caressed my hair carefully. His words made my body shake harder, sobbing louder now.

Why was I crying? Goddammit! I was already calling him my boyfriend? Why was this so hard? Why was I sad when I should be happy? Why, just why?

We were at Kyran's home. His parents were still at work and Kyran's siblings were somewhere else too. I already knew that Caleb wouldn't be here but I didn't know where Ellinor was.

Carefully Kyran pulled me down so we both laid next to each other on his bed. Facing the other - if I wouldn't sob into his shoulder.

His scent filled me from every side and it made my mind spin more. But it also calmed my shaking body down. I wanted to be covered in his scent. Wanted everyone to know that I was his but I couldn't because of rule number one.

Of course, I was aware of the reason for rule number one.

We would get in so much trouble if someone found out about us. My father would literally put me behind bars if he ever found out.

Our friends were different. After all, Caleb, Lucien and Kate supported me completely. And I was sure, Ethan would be supportive too - if Kyran wanted to tell him. But anyone else?

»You okay now?« he asked carefully and I nodded. I didn't want to wipe my snot on him, so I moved back and met his eyes again.

»Well... I can't say okay.« I smiled crookedly. »But I will get over it.«

We stayed there and only laid in each other's arms. We didn't talk. We were just there. And I needed that right now. Needed it to assure me and to not make me cry again.

»Can I...«

»Kiss me again?« he ended my question and I smiled. »Yes.«

»Yes,« he answered and moved closer to my face.

Our lips grazed at each other. A tingle shot through my heart. They touched a bit harder. Moved together. His fit so perfectly to mine. Why...? Just why couldn't he be mine for forever?

A smile tugged at his lips and made me move closer to him. He fell on his back and I followed after him. I leaned above him from the side and supported my body with one arm on his other side. The other one touched his cheek as I went deeper into the kiss.

His tongue met mine. Clumsy and inexperienced. Not just Kyran was clumsy and inexperienced. I was too. Both of us had never kissed someone.

We learned what the other liked and went with that. We accepted our clumsiness. Never acted like it was a problem because it wasn't. It didn't matter how clumsy we were. We savored the moment and the experience.

I wanted to move my hand. Wanted it to wander under his shirt but I held back.

Rule number two: No sex or any interaction that goes beneath clothes.

I cursed at those rules but I wouldn't do anything that made him feel uncomfortable. He wanted to save himself for his mate and that wasn't me. I had no right to move past this rule and take what I wanted.

I felt his gasp in my mouth. Saw his flushed cheeks and ears. Could I eat him whole?

»M-More,« he muttered between kisses and locked his arms around my neck.

I needed to be blind to not notice what was going on between his legs. The way he squeezed them together and moved his hips - he was obviously in need of release.

»The rules...« I reminded him. I wasn't even sure if he meant that I should touch him or if I should kiss him more. But I could only stare into his needy gaze.

»I know,« he groaned. »Kiss me!«

I wanted to follow his wishes when suddenly the door was thrown open and both of us stared at Ellinor who stood in the doorframe. Fuck.

Bewildered, she stopped in her tracks and only stared at us. Me bent over Kyran. Our lips were swollen. Our faces flushed. Need for release between our legs.

»You two...« She pointed at us. Blinking a few times. Mouth gaping wide open.

I moved back before Kyran could push me away.

»Elli, this-«

»So you finally confessed? About damn time,« she suddenly said and eyed me before rolling her eyes and closing the door behind her.

Obviously coming inside Kyran's bedroom.

»W-What?« I stuttered.

She snorted. »It's pretty obvious with the way you stare at my little brother. Come on. I'm not blind like most of the donkeys.«

»You...« Kyran couldn't even comprehend what just happened and I was even more taken aback.

»I won't intervene whatever you two are doing. But I hope you two know what responsibilities and problems this brings.«

I nodded and Kyran nodded too. »We already have a few rules,« he said and pointed to the paper on his nightstand.

She squinted at it before nodding. »The first rule is the most important. Don't let our parents and your parents find out about this. They wanted you two to make up but probably not like this. If they find out, you two will be in so much trouble.«

»You'll help us?« We had just made those rules and already broke the first one.

»Duh.« She rolled her blue eyes again and crossed her arms before her chest. »You two are 16, you're in love, you want to experience that love. I won't be the one to snipe you two. After all, even a mate should know that we had a life before them. We may be part wolf but we're human too. We've feelings and want to experience those. Not every wolf wants to wait for a mate that may never appear in front of them. You two are free now, life this freedom until you can't anymore.«

I had never thought I would be touched by a few words. But right now I felt like crying again.

She was right. We had the right to experience love. A mate was our fate in the end. But before we met them, we just wanted to live and experience life and everything that it brought with it.

Right now I wanted to love Kyran and nobody could just come and say I wasn't allowed to.

I had the right to live. I had the right to love. And I loved him.

»Thank you,« I whispered.

»You're crying again, you cry-baby.« Kyran nudged me, a smile on his lips. Crooked, I curled the corners of my lips up. »Emotional day.«

He snorted, amused and nodded. »Yeah. Very emotional.«