Corrupted hearts || 1

27

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN ❦ AURELIA
I breathe out, before moving towards Elias a bit, then resting my head on his shoulder, we're both on the sand, he lit up fire hours ago since it's cold.

None of us have been able to sleep, and it's starting to become frustrating since we'll be dead by the morning, but my mind genuinely wouldn't stop working.

Those new nightmares are eating at me, I don't understand where they're coming from, or what they even mean since they're always incomplete, I just see blood and both my parents,

It's disturbing and I'm scared to talk to anyone about it, I almost blurt it out to Elias seconds ago, and I don't think I'll regret it but something stopped me from doing so.

"Your heartbeats aren't steady." I state and look up at him, he smiles, so beautiful and wide, the sight is breathtaking itself, "For a reason." He replies, "How do you manage a straight emotionless face while you're nervous? I'm sure you're currently not, but you're not calm internally either." I need the advice for sure.

Since I always freak out whenever I'm stressed, I cannot control how my day goes or how I can live generally, maybe that was a bit dramatic but that's how I internally feel, it's hell inside here.

I continue staring in front of me, waiting for him to speak, the sun is starting to shine, it's beautiful, and the sky is a mix of colors as if each is consuming the other, "I grew up in a house where showing emotions meant punishment." His words surprise me.

It spreads a sense of warmth through my body that he trusts me, but the way he talked as if this doesn't affect him one bit makes my chest clenches and I realize that I don't know anything about Elias, not really, just like he doesn't, but the way he just told me something from his past, something that people would consider a weakness, makes me lean into him further and start talking.

"I think I understand what you mean, but it wasn't that strict back with my parents, it just meant that they'd flat out bully me for my overload of emotions, decorating their words with the statement of 'I'm saying this because I want the best for you.' I believed them, and maybe that's their intention, but it doesn't feel like it, you know." I breathe out, I've never admitted this to anyone.

Not even myself.

Elias's fingers lurk through my blonde strands, the gesture sending a sense of security rushing through my body, "That's still a form of punishment, Aurelia, it's just in bullying, you didn't realize it is one because it never stopped, and usually, punishments had an expiring date, yours never did." His words strike so hard to the point where my eyes glass.

Tears blur my vision, "What if they actually want what's best for me?" My thoughts always turned against each other, sometimes I was so sure that they want the best of me, and the others, I believed that no kid should experience this.

But at the end of the day, it's not that bad, I've seen worse, speaking of Elias for example, "The intention doesn't matter, the impact does, and if their intention was really to be caring towards you, they'd spend their time fixing what they caused, but they just worsened things further, didn't they?" His words make me question everything I believe in.

He makes me view this whole thing from a new perspective it's both disturbing and Comforting, my stomach dims the further I absorb his words, "They love me." I say, maybe to convince myself.

But the certainty in Elias's eyes surprises me as he nods, "People hurt the others the most when they love them, ironic, isn't it?" He lets out a bitter laugh and I can't help the humorless laugh that rattles out of my lips too.

"You don't believe in love?" I question, not liking the depressive turn this was taking, he must sense it because he doesn't push on our earlier topic, "I don't." He replies, the response doesn't surprise me, he doesn't look like the type who would.

"You think it doesn't exist?" I ask further, and he contemplates it for a second, "Not love no, there's caring, affection, lots of other emotions that lead people to the stupid term of love." He mocks.

My brows furrow, taking complete offense for that, "That's so not true." I protest, he rolls his eyes but a soft smile stretches over his face, my eyes linger on it a bit too much than I'd like.

Apparently, our deal is over, Elias's presence brings me comfort, I love spending time with him, and it makes me happy, I don't like the pattern but I give up on trying to pull away from him, it's tiring since he isn't exactly out of my life.

And I don't want him to be.

"You believe In fairytales, sweetheart?" He arches a brow, I narrow my eyes in a malicious glare, "They're not fairytales, love exists in real life." I insist he won't change my perspective on this, I know it.

"Did you experience it?" He asks, I shake my head, "Then how are you so sure?" He questions, and I contemplate his words for a second, "Did you experience murder? No, that doesn't stop it from existing." I'm trying to make a point here.

But all he does is tilt his head, and brush my cheek with his thumb, "If I knew that you'd look this adorable while you're angry I'd have made you angry a while ago." He states and my cheeks heat up, "Don't distract me." I order, the corners of his lips lift, "Yes, ma'am." His response sounds sarcastic, to say the least but it still spreads a rush of victory through my body.

"Hence that, you always make me angry, Elias." I state, my words sincere, "Really?" He mock-gasps, I nudge him on the shoulder, this is so unlike him that I want to stretch the moment forever, but the sun's light that's starting to lurk over my face distracts me as my eyes flit to the sunrise.

My lips part, "This is so beautiful." I whisper in awe, mesmerized by it, "So beautiful." Elias's voice meets my ears as I turn in his direction, but I find his eyes on no one other than me.

The realization makes heat flood through my body, I want him, the fact never failed to make me turned on even further, the decision is in my hands, and the thought clouds my mind, as I continue staring at him.

My eyes uncontrollably flit to his full lips, throat dry and body full of heat, I breathe out, trying to calm the sudden erratic beats in my chest, a question floats in Elias's eyes as he stares at me for an answer,

I contemplate it, for so long, but he waits, "You want this?" He questions, his voice low, his eyes shining, His thumb grazes my jaw, and I feel it straight in my peaking nipples and slick core.

Jesus Christ, my breath catches, his fingers tilt up my chin and I finally gather my words, "Yes." The moment I utter them, he captures my lips in a rough kiss, matching him, Maneuvering my hands, I loop them over his neck. My fingers grip strands of his hair as I push my tongue up the roof of his mouth, demanding more.

And more.

He gives in,  My eyes flutter closed as I kiss him, my fingers toying with the hairs at the back of his neck. Our breaths mingle together, rough and unrestrained like a symphony, like we've been starved for so long.

I stop thinking about the consequences of this,
I just let myself be, living in the moment.

And while The kiss might've started on my lips, it possesses my entire body, It pools in my stomach and races down my spine. It paralyzes my limbs and awakens my internal organs.

His teeth nibble on my lips, his hand fists in my hair, angling my head back so he can get better access. His tongue finds mine, feeding off me, tasting me, inhaling me,

I've never experienced anything like this before, it's breathtaking, spectacular, and astounding, "Fuck." He groans in pleasure, his chest vibrating in approval As he pulls me in his arms, "Fuck, indeed." I mutter between the kisses and he smiles into the next kiss.

"So goddam beautiful." He mutters under his breath, leaving kisses all over my neck, I stifle a moan so that no one hears us, Elias leans down so that his lips are right beside my ears, "I've always fantasized about this, but fuck, you're better than any fantasy." He whispers, the words sending heat rushing to my core.

My arousal spikes, and I reach out for him, my fingers tracing the hard muscles of his chest, seconds later, we go back to the animalistic kissing state we were in just moments ago.

For the longest time, I tried to fight our connection, but it keeps winning.
The thing is, Losing never felt so good.

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