Gold Dust Woman- Lip Gallagher

we can't keep having this conversation

The next morning, I walked to the Gallaghers where Lip was testing Ian on math stuff.

"Hey, Mayo," Carl said.

"Hey, bud," I said, rubbing his head.

"She hasn't even slept with him yet," Lip said.

I rolled my eyes as Lip brought Karen up AGAIN.

"Maybe he's a eunuch," Lip said.

"Maybe she just likes him," Ian said.

"You know, not everyone wants to have sex on the first date," I said. Ian nodded and smiled in agreement. It is weird that Karen of all people wasn't having sex with a guy that she was seeing, but I respected it. 

"Lip, why are you sleeping in my bed?" Fiona said, getting up from the couch.

"Ask her," Lip pointed to Debbie.

"I moved Liam," Debbie said, "I can't be in the same room where Liam is constantly masturbating!"

"It's not masturbating if nothing comes out," Carl said, making me snort.

"According to whom?" Fiona said.

"My friend, Jack O'Donnell."

"That's not true, Carl," I said.

"It's kind of true," Lip said.

"Not legally true," Ian said.

After a few more seconds of discussion of masturbation, Fiona changed her shirt and took charge.

"Hey, Gallaghers!," Fiona said before looking at me, "And honorary Gallagher. I need focus and cooperation. Unfortunately, Frank has rented out his room to a pregnant woman."

"I already told them," Debbie said. I raised an eyebrow, obviously having no knowledge of this.

"You let her in last night?"

"She let herself in. She has a key. Besides, she's from China. They kill extra babies there."

"All thanks to communism and Deng Xiopang," I said.

"Liam needs to go back in with you," Fiona said.

"No!" Debbie protested.

"Debbie-

"What's done is done!"

Fiona sighed, "Alright. For now, Liam's in the boys' room."

"What?" Carl said.

"Four guys in one room," Ian said.

"Isn't that a health code violation?" Lip said.

"Lip, that's normal for most colleges," I said.

"Yea, for fuckin' suites."

I shrugged. Apparently, a lot of colleges had issues with over-accepting, therefore having to cram more people into smaller rooms. I'd probably lose my mind.

"I'll find Frank and figure this out but until then, four in the room," Fiona said.

The pregnant lady came downstairs with a pan and what looked like either chicken or duck. She gave us all dirty looks, and no one said a word. 

Fiona grabbed her phone and called Frank, "Somebody dropped off 200 dollars for you. Said he owed you and thanks."

"Who?" Frank said.

"Unshaven, flannel shirt, cauliflower ear," Fiona said, "I'm leaving 50 for you on the mantle, but I'm buying groceries with the rest!"

"That is my money, Fiona!" Frank yelled before she hung up.