Temperance (Steve Rogers AU) 18+

23

Phil comes to see me later on that evening, smiling kindly as he walks in and hugs me. He's like a father to me, and now he looks at me with more concern than pity. "How you doing Aless?"

I shake my head. "Surviving...geez Phil it's been a shit week". Only then do I let him see me cry, something that I've tried to avoid around everyone else. "Even Steve is siding with the others, the UN. They signed the accords".

Phil just nods, probably expecting this to have happened. "Even if they disagreed then they would have to. It's that or step down from duty. And with no Avengers, whether they're under UN control or not? The world won't be safe. Ok, so Lagos was a mess, but it's not been the worst. There will be other disasters, but we need the team to stop them".

It makes sense.

"Steve said that I'll basically be back on desk duty for SHIELD". I start, "that why you're here? To take me back?" Please say yes and just save me from the hell that is this week.

"Well, to discuss your return". He tells me.

I get up and pour myself a drink. "Want one?"

"If you've got a water then I'd be grateful" He says and I go to fill up a glass for him. "So...sit down. Talk me through everything that happened, because somehow I think you need to get everything off of your chest". He says as I return and pass him the glass.

So I do.

I tell him about Crossbones, what happened, the aftermath, the guilt, the anger and hurt at Steve as well as the others. "They won't let me out as an agent again, even I know that". I scoff as I finish.

Would I even want to get back out there? If I've failed as Captain America then there's no hope for little old Agent Alessandra Kennedy.

"Never say never". Phil smiles. "You'll still be with me. You'll have a couple more days here and then I'll come back and get you". He gets up and takes the briefcase he's brought with him. "Anyway I need to get back, got some paperwork for Fury", then giving me another warm hug. "Everything will be ok - I know it will be".

"I hope so Phil". I sigh as I pull away. "FRIDAY, unlock the door so that Agent Coulson can leave please?"

"Yes Captain". FRIDAY now says and the door opens.

I watch him step out and then turn to me. "See you soon Alessandra, look after yourself". I note the look he is giving me and know that there is some hidden meaning behind it. We used to share those kind of ones all the time on missions by way of communicating when we couldn't say it out loud.

This one means that he may not...

Once he's left I close the door and tell FRIDAY not to let anyone in, even if they are permitted to for all areas of the compound.

Searching the room, I find something under my pillow a short while later.

My file from SHIELD...

Carefully I open it and look at everything they have on me. From the moment I joined SHIELD right up to...

Yesterday...

They're going to 'decommission' me to put the term lightly. Use me as a lab rat so as my blood can aid medicine and ultimately help with research and curing diseases. And there are my submission papers to The Raft so they can lock me away and do this.

My head begins to spin and I try to keep my composure, making sense of everything. Is this Fury's order? Or the UN? Either way if Phil knows then it's obvious that Steve is bound to - which is an even bigger betrayal on his part. He's been back and forth communicating with Hill and Fury for most of the week.

I look at the suit hanging in my closet and then out of anger grab it and rip the star from where it's set on the chest.

I won't be a lab rat, but I also won't be the villain either. And if I'm not seen as the hero then who exactly am I?

A nobody, just like I was before, and I guess what I always will be.

Phil hasn't had time to write everything down and explain what's happening, nor could he while he was here - but the sticky note that's attached to the Raft's submission papers tells me what exactly I need to do with just one word.

Run.

And I know just where to go...