Chapter 1

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Even as time passes us by faster than we care to cherish, some moments stay with us more than we care to hold. It is not as if we choose to keep those memories so close; by large most of us wish we could forget. It is so much more than recalling where you were when you first heard of a significant tragedy. It is so much deeper than that. It's remembering every red on the wall, every scent in the air, every crackle of the recording, every taste on your tongue, every hair on your skin, every cell in your brain registering it all with such precision, so you could never forget.

You failed her.

Believe me, I spent many years trying to forget, but her face haunted my sleeping and waking dreams. The hollowness of her eyes. The paleness of her skin. The darkness of the blood. The foulness of the odor. The lifelessness of my best friend as her dead eyes stared back at me.

I failed her.

It didn't matter how far I ran or how hard I cried. She was everywhere and anywhere. I drank, I prayed, I smoked, I talked – she was still there. It took years before I could even attempt continuing my life, and even then it was hard going. I found the only way to stop thinking of her was to be constantly thinking of other things. If I didn't let my mind rest, then that memory couldn't haunt me. So I left our rural town and headed for the city that never slept. And I kept busy.

"Tell me why on earth I agreed to come here again?" I sneered as my roommate Gabe led the way through the busy bar that I didn't bother to remember the name of.

"Uh, because you've been working nonstop, and you need to relax a bit!" Gabe said matter of a factly. "It's just a few friends from NYU. You'll love them nearly as much as you love me!"

I looked at Gabe wide-eyed at his brazen declaration. He was lucky I was in a relatively good mood at the time. Though, I had to admit, he wasn't entirely wrong. Gabe was my one-and-only friend in the city, which was by a mere coincidence after he moved into the apartment next to mine six months ago. Before meeting him, my life was boring, a paint-by-the-numbers ordeal. He was a much-needed splash of vibrancy.

"Does this have anything to do with a certain someone?" I teased.

"Oh, shush you! It's not just him, ok? His hot roomie from college will be joining and he's single," Gabe glanced over his shoulder and winked at me.

It wouldn't have been the first time he tried to hook me up with someone. As he would say, 'All work and no hanky-panky makes Dani a mean girl'. I begged to differ, I didn't need sex with anyone, especially not awkward, one-night stands. He still wouldn't give up though.

"Give him a try! You never know!" Gabe muttered under his breath as we approached the very crowded 12-person table. "Hey, besties!"

"Gabe!" the eclectic group of people greeted their long-time friend. I had never felt more like a fish out of water than that moment.

"This is my girl, Dani. You be nice to her, 'kay?" Gabe put his arm around my shoulder and squeezed.

After a round of introductions for names I instantly forgot, we were encouraged to sit in the middle of the long table, much to my disapproval. Conversation about people and places that had no relation to me began all around me. The best I could do was feign interest so I wouldn't look to be too anti-social. Best I didn't reveal my true nature too soon after all. Gabe meanwhile was casually flirting with the man across from him, who was most definitely Gabe's type – chiseled, well-groomed, and gay. I had to admit it was fun watching the sickeningly sweet compliments between each other. It was almost a perfect night out, for Gabe that is.

"So I hear you're from Raven Hill," the man beside Gabe's love interest suddenly asked me.

Gabe immediately started gesturing to him a poor signal to change topic, but I wasn't going to appear impolite. "I am."

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