As it Was | Hange x Reader

Chapter 5: Project Proposals

Sasha groaned loudly, slumped on the kitchen counter. "Why'd you let me drink so much last night? I have a splitting headache. I'm dyinggg."

"Relax," Mikasa stood near the fridge, pouring Sasha a glass of water. She was still in her workout gear—black leggings and a black sports bra, her short hair tied back—and had offered to make everyone breakfast due to Sasha being unable to move from her spot. Mikasa slid the glass in front of Sasha, placing a plate of scrambled eggs and hash browns too. "Eat this, and I'll give you some meds."

"Can't you give me the meds now?" Sasha pouted.

"No," Mikasa said sternly. "Not on an empty stomach."

(Y/N) sat silently at the counter, staring down at her own plate of food. She hadn't uttered a single word since her encounter with Hange yesterday. She had barely been able to sleep. Yes, her head ached greatly. Yes, she felt nauseous from the alcohol. But there was another reason for her silence. Hange's words echoed in her mind, refusing to give her a moment of rest. They were back.

Hange Zoe was back.

Her childhood best friend. Her other half.

The person who had changed her life. The person she hated more than anyone else in the world. At the thought of them, her skin crawled. It was strange, the mixture of loathing and longing when she thought about Hange. Normally, the hate drowned out any other feeling she had. Especially now.

Why were they back? She wanted them gone. She wanted them to leave. Even though days ago, she had been reminiscing the time they had spent together, she didn't want to see them again. She didn't like this version of them. She missed the past but she didn't miss Hange.

And why did she have to bump into them when she had been drunk? She had stood there like a fool, not being able to respond to Hange's quick retorts. If only she had been in her right senses. She wouldn't have let herself appear as an incompetent—

"(Y/N)?" Mikasa asked. "You haven't touched your food. Everything alright?"

"Hm?" (Y/N) blinked, looking up from her plate. "Yeah. Just a headache, I guess."

Sasha stared at her curiously, "you drank quite a bit last night, huh? Was it because of Pieck? Do you like her?"

"Quit it, Sasha."

(Y/N) smiled a little and stretched. She had a long day ahead of her. Preparing a proposal for the tournament would take up majority of her time. Plus, there were her regular assignments that she had to complete. And then there was her part time job at the market...and the clubs she was in...the familiar bitter feeling of panic began to rise within her. But it was okay. She'd manage. She'd been able to in the past.

"I'm going to go take a shower and then head over to the library," (Y/N) stood. She wanted to mention running into Hange. She wanted to talk about that with someone. Just knowing that her childhood best friend was back left a burning sensation in her throat, and she wasn't quite sure how to explain it. But Mikasa and Sasha...they wouldn't really understand.

"Don't study so hard your brain falls out," Sasha giggled at her own joke as she munched on her breakfast.

"I'll try not to," (Y/N) waved and headed down to her room to grab her stuff.

-

The library had always offered a sense of respite. Getting lost in the tall stacks of books, with nothing surrounding her but silence, was peaceful. There were no expectations. Nothing she had to live up to. (Y/N) sat in a nook of the library, her laptop balanced in her lap. Besides her were empty armchairs, the only sound she could hear was the faint hum of the AC—which annoyed her since it was already cold. Her jacket offered little warmth. The blank document before her seemed to taunt her, reminding her that she still had less than a week to come up with a proposal in order to officially be entered into the games.