Unstable.

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I was so mentally unstable that I was in a point in my life where I couldn't hug someone for too long without crying. And now I had to show up to work as if everything is fine.

I walk into the lounge room and a few wrestlers are in there, i plop down next to rhea Ripley and she ruffles my hair, she'd been my crush for a year but I was good at hiding it.. I doubted she liked me which is why I hid it, usually I would make it obvious when I liked someone but this was different.. I really liked rhea and she's a great friend and I'd hate to ruin it.

Just thinking about that made me wanna cry.

That wasn't all that was bothering me, I had issues with my mom and my brother recently ended his own life because of her torturous antics and it felt like I was dying.

My picked at my nails and stared at them while trying to push away my negative feelings, rhea caught on and rubbed my back.

"Mar.. you alright..? You seem a little.. sad..?"

I didn't answer. My voice would've cracked, I felt it in my throat.. I just nodded and continued to look downward.

"No your not ok.. c'mere"

She grabbed my shoulder and push my down so my head was on her lap and she stroked my hair, he nails sort of scratching my scalp. She knew I liked that.

I fell into her touch and let her comfort me, I closed my eyes and just relaxed in her presence, that didn't last for long.

Of course Shayna had something to say.

"Is mar ok? She's been all depresso all week.. I know you weren't here for awhile, rhea, but I think she's like... on the edge"

She thought I was asleep. I wanted to cry.

"Uhm.. I don't know what's wrong but im just gonna be here for her and not pressure her into telling me.."

Shayna nodded then walked away, I squinted my eyes open to make sure nobody was looking and I sat up and got up to walk out to cool down, rhea hopped off the couch and followed me.

"Marielle? What's wrong?"

Couldn't answer. I had that same voice cracking feeling.

Rhea grabbed me and pulled me into a deep hug, if I wasn't mistaken she might have kissed my cheek for like 0.5 seconds.

I let her hug me for the first 15 seconds then I tried to break away. I didn't want her to see me cry, but she didn't let me go, she was stronger then me.

"Just cry mar.. it's ok.. your safe with me"

I didn't want to give in but I couldn't hold it in anymore. I cried. I cried and cried and it was like the tears never stopped.

Rhea held me the whole time, I'm pretty sure I soaked her shirt with my stupid tears but she didn't care.

Now I wanted to calm down, I needed to. Rheas match was coming up, I knew because Damien was about to approach us.
"Rhea, we gotta go our match is-"
but once he realized I was crying he backed away. Embarrassing.

Rhea noticed I was trying to calm myself down so she started thinking of ways to help, I wasn't expecting her to do what she did next though.

She kissed me.

And god it was the best kiss ever, it wasn't just a peck it was a full on kiss. Tongue and everything.

That got me to calm down. My face was most likely red as fuck, rhea just smiled a little and moved a piece of my hair behind my ear and kissed my nose.

"R-rhea.. why'd you..."

"I like you mar... I love you.. I'm sorry.. do you not feel the same?"

"No I.. I love you.. I just.. never thought you would feel the same.. I've liked you for the past year.."

"Seriously? Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I'm scared of rejection.."

Rhea fidgets with my ear a little then kisses my forehead.

"I gotta get ready for my match.. come to the locker room with me?"

"Sure.."

Rhea grabs my hand and leads me to her personal locker room, I sit on her couch and she starts undressing, I panicked a little and turned the other direction and pretended to be on my phone and not paying attention.

"you dont have to.. look away.. i dont mind, unless your just uncomfortable with.. watching.. anyways, do you wanna talk about why your upset?"

I might as well just get it off my mind, well id still be on my mind but itd be better to say it out loud.

"uhm..  my mom is like.. a jerk.. and... my brother.."

I tried to continue, i really did, but id jut start crying again and thats just so embarrassing. rhea had already finished putting her gear on and sat next to me and started rubbing my back. 

"you can do it mar.. its ok if you cry.."

"uhm.. my brother.. just.. my moms.. chaos was too much.. and... he.. couldnt take it anymore.."

By now my face was full of tears and rhea hugged me, she let me rest my head on her shoulder and held me tight.

"Im sorry mar.. im so sorry.. its okay.. your safe with me.. you can cry"

I just sobbed until i didnt have it in me to cry anymore, a sound guy knocked on the door and i let go of rhea so she could answer, i grabbed some tissues she had on her vanity and wiped my eyes.

The sound guy told her she was on and left, she gave me another hug and started to leave. 

"Ill be back ok? ill try to make this quick then we can go out.. and just do whatever"

I nodded and worked on pulling myself together, my head was hurting and i decided to lay on rheas couch and scroll through my phone. i think i dozed off, i jerked awake when rhea walked in and threw a hand towel on a nearby chair, she was a little sweaty and smiled when she aw me.

"Hey! did you fall asleep?"

"oh shit.. yeah.. did you win?"

"Rhea held up her title and grinned, indicating she won since she didnt loose the title."

"of course i won, im unbeatable."

i smiled a little and sat up on the couch, i rubbed my eyes and slowly walked up to rhea, i wanted another hug, she was comforting and i felt safe around her, i needed her.

She hugged me tight and kissed my forehead, i giggled and she chuckled.

"your safe with me mar."


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