What If? (P1) || Jake / Reader || Draft

Suffocation 🔞

Your day starts by sitting in the shower, and letting the warm water run down your back as it covers your tears.

You're in your old room as everyone has taken over HellsGate, and although your things had been scattered like before — nothing was taken or destroyed, surprisingly.

You're too exhausted to even fully realize that you're at the point where you start hallucinating to make up for the pain.

Wishing, wanting, pleading for his return.

Jake lets himself in, still in his avatar all these days later as everyone moves things out to HG.
He has a freshly warmed bath robe for you, and throws it over the side of the shower so it hangs for when you're ready.
"I've made dinner." He says. "Steak and vegetables, mashed potatoes with gravy? your favorite?"

You still haven't looked at him, too frustrated and stuck in your ways from everything.

He's concerned since you haven't eaten - an unfortunate combination of both depression and morning sickness all over again - but at least your Avatar is kept safe and given all the nutrients she needs in the medical ward.

"Baby, can you at least look at me?" He asks so sweetly... it's hard to continue looking away.

He almost regrets asking, for when you finally do - he sees the dark circles under your eyes, and the sadness behind them that you can't conceal.

He slides the shower door open, coming to help you out as you've been unwilling to even move lately.

Eating the bare minimum for your human child as you've between vomiting, sleeping as much as you can manage even though it's only minutes at a time with the nightmares coming on...

It was too much, all at once.

You hate the way this feels, especially as he steps closer to turn off the shower knob as the water runs cold.
"They've gotten most stuff cleaned or sorted in the building, your things have all been moved in."

You refuse to look at him, and even scoot away as he steps closer and moves down so he's on his knees.

He hates the way you bring your knees up, and wrap your arms around your legs as you hide your whole body from him while he sets a large blue hand beside you.

It hurts more than you ever expected as his other hand comes to the side of your face, moving the few loose strands out of the way so he can see you better.

He hasn't touched you in days, and the added warmth and sincerity to it makes it impossible not to cry.

You try so hard to stay strong, but as his palm cups the side of your face - you can't help but begin to shake with tears.

"Baby." He says, softly. "I know you hate me right now, but please don't neglect yourself or our child because of it."

That hits worse than a knife to your gut, and you shake your head a few times in response.
"I don't hate you."

His ears perk up as you finally speak for the first time in days to him. He's surprised to even hear your voice again.

"—I get why you stopped me.—"

He leans forward so he's on his palms and knees now, his face only inches from yours as you continue to sob.

It's hard to look into his eyes, for as you do - it only makes more tears fall.
"—But they will come back."

"And when they do, we'll handle it."
His eyes follow as you look away again.
"Baby, look at me. Please.
Don't shut me out anymore."

He sits back on his heels, and holds a hand out for you to help you stand.