A Hand is Not a Heart

To Get Caught

She had obeyed him. There was no arguing anymore. She had gotten her desired kiss after all.

The side effect had worn off by the time she woke up again. And he had been right. She needed sleep. Her tired body had slept through the whole rest of the day and night.

Unfortunately, she remembered everything she said. And she remembered everything he did. It was clear to her now. He only felt pity for her. Nothing more. And she had made a fool out of herself to get that information. It was a reality she had to accept. Love was not meant for her. Not anymore. Maybe people only got one love in their life and that was it. And she had already had hers. Maybe this was life's way of telling her to focus on other things. That she needed to get her priorities straight.

So she attempted to forget about her feelings. She would simply focus on other things, like the students or professor Flitwick. And after those seven days of bed rest, she finally could. Of course she had to do so secretly. Her husband had demanded that she'd stay in bed for two weeks. But now that her legs were healed, she let them take her wherever she pleased. When she was sure that her husband would be gone for a while, she would sneak out and go to her garden. There was always a student in need of a pep talk or with an injury to be healed. Other times, she would apparate to the dungeons of the Dark Lord's mannor to visit her old professor. This she did without anyone's knowledge of course. She knew apparating was bad for her concussion but she didn't care. Filius needed her. And she needed him.

"...and now he thinks I'm pregnant. I don't know how to fix it. The Dark Lord is expecting a baby from me. But Severus and I never even... you know." She said. Filius turned out to be a good listener. She trusted him and confided in him. Talking to him was easy and freeing.

"You are a talented and smart witch, Petronella. But this is not a problem that can be fixed with magic I'm afraid." He responded in between taking bites from his sandwich.

"I know. I need to talk to him. We need to get it over with." She avoided eye contact with him.

"Is he... good to you?" Filius asked.

She thought back to all of the times her husband had saved her. He had definitely been good to her. It wasn't at all the way she imagined being the wife of a Death Eater would be. He was somehow different. Maybe he was tricked into joining them? Or maybe forced? Or perhaps he only agreed with their belief but not their methods. Whatever it was, she was glad. For he was a good husband to her. He cared for her. Even though he didn't share her feelings.

"Yes. He is kind to me. He takes care of me. It is more than I could've hoped for." She answered.

"So he is not cruel?"

Petronella was almost appalled by his question. "No! He... he is sweet and gentle."

"Most people wouldn't describe him as such. You must understand my apprehension."

"I do. I understand. But he seems to put great value on marriage and on having a wife. He always says he protects me because it is his duty as a husband. Maybe that's why he's good to me?"

"Severus is quite the old fashioned fella. I'm glad he hasn't abandoned those values."

"Yes... me too."

After her visit, she went to her garden. Her husband wouldn't be done with work for at least another hour, which meant she had some time to enjoy herself outside. Her flowers were beautiful and calming. She sat on the stone bench, watching her garden. The sun was out and the breeze was warm enough to leave her coat inside.

She was about to leave when she saw Anthony and a friend of his approaching. A few more minutes couldn't hurt, she supposed. It was a relief to see that both boys were happy. The only reason why they came was because of a small cut on Anthony's forehead. "I like your hair today, miss Ella." Anthony said while seating himself on the stone bench.