A Hand is Not a Heart

Dark Mark

Petronella woke early that next morning. For the first time in months, she was excited to go to work. She couldn't wait to leave Snape's personal quarters and step back into her old life. It would feel good to go back to work and it would hopefully put things into perspective.

She didn't see her former professor when she left her bedroom. She figured he was a workaholic and liked being in his office from the early mornings until late nights. That, or he did everything possible to avoid her. Both options were equally probable. Before apparating to work, she had gone to Hogsmeade to eat breakfast. Petronella knew she was going to be a frequent costumer because of her terrible cooking skills. It didn't help that she couldn't even practice as Snape had demanded she'd stay out of his kitchen. To be fair, she was so embarrassed that she probably wouldn't try to prepare her own food for years to come.

She was walking towards her office when her father emerged from his. "Why are you at work?" Her father asked rather impolitely.

She frowned upon seeing his questioning face. "Because it's Monday." She responded, genuinely confused about her father's reaction. Her father shook his head irritatedly and pulled her into his office. "You are a married woman now, Petra. You should let your husband take care of you. It is seen as disrespectful if you don't." He told her patronisingly.

"But father, I don't think my husband will mind. And with his income, I think it's for the best if I bring in some money as well." She countered politely.

"It is frowned upon amongst our socialites. And you know you'll never lack anything, honey. I will provide you everything your heart desires." Her father spoke as he looked down at his crumbling daughter. His words stung. She felt her already torn down spirit plummet to unthinkable depths. Her eyes turned watery as she bit her lip to remain strong. He had taken her last bit of self-worth away and she felt herself crumbling down on the inside. The cruel words of her husband repeated themselves in her mind. 'I have a name that better fits your essence. There's no need for your actual name'. Even he could see it. She was nothing more than a spoiled girl, whose only task was to sit still and look pretty. How had she ever dared to dream of being anything more than that?

"But what am I supposed to do then?" She asked softly, her voice sounding as broken as she felt inside.

"Befriend other wives. Go shopping. Anything, Petra. I don't really care." He said, now starting to get a little frustrated with her. It was as if everything crumbled down around her, she tuned out his voice and stared at the floor. The pang of hurt turned quickly into numbness. She stood stiffly in his office as he sat down in his chair. He looked at her as she kept standing frozen in her spot. He cleared his throat but she didn't budge.

"Go home." He demanded from his daughter turned zombie.

Without saying a word, Petronella took her wand and apparated herself out of his office. She landed in Snape's personal quarters and threw herself on her bed. She laid there for hours, not knowing what to think or do. She had hated her job, but at least it boosted her self-worth. She was an excellent assistant. But now she felt like the biggest loser to ever exist. Her dreams had never been grand, but they had surely exceeded becoming a housewife at the age of twenty to a much older man.

She thought back to her relationship with Cedric. They had talked about their future together multiple times. He had multiple ideas for his future but always told her that he'd go wherever she would be. They had discussed where they would live and what their lives would look like. He wanted to live in a small town but still close to a big city to socialise. She never really cared where they went, as long as she was with him and out of her parents' mansion. Her eyes became watery once again when her old love entered her mind. She missed him terribly. The heartache had never really diminished. Sure, time had put a distance between them but it didn't heal anything. Whenever her thoughts would linger on him, her heart would rip open and her eyes would become never ending waterfalls. Inevitably, flashes of his lifeless body would enter her mind and worsen her pain.