A Hand is Not a Heart

First Kiss

Petronella was left sitting in shock. She had almost not registered what happened in that hotel room. But now she remembered vaguely that her husband had told Gianna she was pregnant and the Dark Lord had heard it.

But she wasn't pregnant.

She searched for her husband's eyes. "Why did you say I was pregnant?" Her voice was still shaking from shock.

He looked back at her with warm eyes. "It was her weakness." He said softly.

They sat in silence, looking at each other. Every time her lungs filled with air and released it, her body became more at peace. The eyes she had held onto in that hotel room were still there. They ensured her that she was safe and sound. She owed her life to them.

"Thank you." She whispered.

A hesitant smile tugged on the corner of his lips. He remained silent.

Petronella broke eye contact and looked at her hands in her lap. Her pounding head was pushing her attention to the Dark Lord and how he was expecting a baby soon. Her tired brain could not comprehend how she and her husband hadn't succeeded yet. It surely wasn't for a lack of trying. So she feared the worst.

"I'm not pregnant." She stated. Her brain started coming up with doom scenario's in which the Dark Lord would kill her for not being able to reproduce.

Her husband didn't utter a word.

She looked back at him. "Why am I not pregnant?"

Panic began to take over her body again. Tears sprung in her eyes as she looked at him questioningly. He kept quiet.

"I don't understand. I need to be pregnant! The Dark Lord will have my head! Why am I not pregnant?" She started talking anxiously as she looked intensely at her husband. Some tears ran down her cheeks as she tried to remain calm. "Is there something wrong with me? Am I infertile?" Her desperate voice broke her husband's silence.

"No." He said earnestly.

The gravity in his voice made her heart beat faster. She looked at him in confusion.

"There is nothing wrong with you." He seemed almost angry at her for insinuating there was. He avoided eye contact with her for a moment.

"There has to be. How- what- I just-" She tried to make sense of it all but her exhausted mind didn't let her.

Her husband sighed before looking at her again. He held a penetrating stare as he swallowed hard. "I never touched you." He whispered.

She scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion. Her eyes examined his face as her brain tried to make sense of his words. "What do you mean?"

Her eyes darted around the room on a quest to find an answer to his statement. She didn't understand. "We should continue this conversation in the morning. You need rest." He said as he stood up and leaned down to carry her to her bed.

She stopped him.

"Tell me now." She demanded. Her eyes shot back to his and held a stern look.

He straightened his back and looked down at her. She would get her answer now. Her exhausted eyes looked up at him expectantly. She crossed her arms as she awaited an answer. "I..." he began softly "...never did anything. I couldn't." He admitted while looking anywhere but at her eyes.

She didn't know how to feel. There were so many aspects of this ordeal to take into account. Millions of thoughts swarmed her mind, but one feeling couldn't stop itself from taking over. Clearly her husband had expected her to be angry, but that was the farthest thing from her mind. "You never even... undressed me?" She asked in a hushed whisper.