Love

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I wake up in a cold sweat. panting, crying. I cant do it anymore, i just cant. I dont want to be here anymore. Not without him. I cant do it without Conrad
I sit up, and look at Spencer all sprawled out beside me, his hair messy, and the teasr start pouring, quietly, i get up, and walk over to his beside table, i open the top droor, and stare at the black handgun, taking a deep breath, I grab it, and stuff it into the side of spencer's boxer briefs im wearing. I kiss his forehead, and whisper "goodbye, i love you" and walk out of the bedroom.

I quietly get my shoes,careful not to wake up Emily and Morgan, and walk out the door. I walk two minutes to a park, and stand there, gun in hand, aimed at my head. I just cant anymore, it hurts to much, and i dont want to bear here anymore.

I pull the trigger, and brace for impact, but nothing happens, I hold it in my hands, maybe its a sign, or maybe just a missing round.
I move it to my head, and it fires. but not when it gets to my head. it shoots me above my left boob, and I can feel it hit my under arm as i fall to the ground.

"Scarlett!" a tall dark figure appears kneeling infront of me, he sees the blood gushing and alarm flashes his face "you've been shot! wheres the shooter, scarlett?"

I blink a few times ''i-im the shooter" i barely get out before everything goes dark

~~~

When i wake, the first thing i hear is crying and sniffling, my eyelids feel like theyre being weighted down by a hundred pounds as I open them, the first thing I see is mom and rory sitting squished on a chair, crying, with Grandma and Grampa there too, gramdma crying into his chest.

For a good five minutes, I just sit there, staring at what ive caused. This is my fualt. if i hadnt done what ive done they wouldnt be like this, god im so selfish.

Grampa is the first one to see me. "Scarlett" he breathes out, and everyone stops and looks at me, theyre eyes glossy and cheeks puffy. "I-Im so sorry" i manage to get out, i taste the salty tears before i realize im crying.

"dont apologize dear" Grandma comes up to me and hugs me, planting kisses on my forehead. "please dont apologize" she whispers.

Seconds later a nurse rushes in, and its the same fucking petite asian from last time. Ugh. She walks up to me, giving me a small smile "Nice to see you again, Scarlett" I roll my eyes and then notice i cant move my left arm, and my chest hurts. "How are you feeling?" She asks, looking at the clipboard on the bed "like I just got shot" I mummbled
"Well, Honey" She said, smiling sweetly "if you werent such a attention seeker you wouldnt be in this situation, huh?"

I raise my eyebrows at this bitch, and she just smiles and leaves. For the next two hours, I just kinda talk to mom, Rory, grandma and grampa, no ones mentions my attemp, and no one talks about conard.

Theres a knock at the door, and everyone looks, and then at eachother, then they all get up and leave without saying a word to me. Im alone for about 30 seconds, then the door opens.

Spencer walks in.

He looks like shit. grey sweatpants, black hoodie, hair messy, darker bags under his eyes then normal. He dosent look at me until hes sat on the chair beside me, i crain my head to the left looking at him, and I have to bite my lip to keep from burt out crying.

"Spencer" I whisper "I love you"

HIs expression dosent change, except for a single tea that runs down his cheek and he bites his lower lip "I love you too red, i have for so long" His voice breaks at the end and he burys his head in his hands.
I feel horrible. Why would I do this? what the fuck is wrong with me?

Tears start streaming down my face, and I sob uncontrolibly "Spencer im so sorry, i-i didnt mena to hurt anyone, i-i didnt want this to happen, im so fucking sorry Spencer" I inhale sharply and bury my face in my hands, Spencer puts his finger on my chin and turns my head toward him. "First, dont apologiz love, okay? second, whatever your going through, we can go through together"

I nod, and wipe tears off my cheeks and smile at him "i dont know what i'd do without you"

He smiles sadly "you'll never have to know love"

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