a/n: there was a time skip, it'll be explained why later on
- cinira 'nyiah' brooks' pov | chapter thirty-nine (39)
- november 23rd 2022 | lil peep - five degrees
if my day was starting off good, i'd probably be sliding my feet into a purple pair of clean lookin' air maxs right now.
"listen, cinira, enough is enough. i've had enough, ok? this, whatever you're doing o-or trying to prove, is getting to be ridiculous. what, do you think you been hurting somebody by laying in yo own growing fifth for the past week?"
and my real hair would probably be braided close to my scalp and a wig cap would be over it. over that wig cap would be a nice wig. like that one i saw on amazon the other day. the one that's a honey blonde shade of blonde.
and i bet i'd even already be dressed if my day was starting off as a good one. i'd probably have on a real nice outfit. something that'd go real cute with my shoes and my hair.
"and lord, nyiah, it smells in here! how you got all these plates of food i sent upstairs for you. just rotting in here?! it's nasty! i ain't raise no nasty girls!"
yeah, i'd probably be on my way to smoke with some friends before we go out to eat or something like that.
"-and i'm sick and tired of yo damn school callin' my god damned phone! how long you gon' be in this bed anyway, huh? 10 years? you can't keep missin' school like this! it's been weeks almost! kids who miss school for weeks don't graduate! what is it, you don't wanna graduate? huh?!"
i turn away daddy wife, ignoring all the screaming she doing.
my day isn't starting off good. i wish it was. but it's not and i haven't had a good day in i-don't-know-how-long.
daddy wife, who just so happens to be the lady who gave birth to me, came into my room quiet. but when she got a smell of the food she been having daddy send up for me, she got loud.
and she hasn't shut the fuck up since.
"-don't even get me started on the smells in this room," i hear her continue. "you smell, cinira, and it's not good!"
that's cause i ain't been having no energy to shower.
"this room is a mess!"
i don't feel like cleaning it.
"i didn't raise you like this!"
she barely raised me at all. i can't remember who did exactly. but it most definitely wasn't her ass.
daddy wife keeps screaming and all i can do is think about that time where a boy who was in my science class, brought fruit flies for our classes' scienctifx show&tell.
i only remember him and him bringing what he brought, because that was the day i had learned fruit flies only be alive for a few days. not even a hundred of him.
they just go after the first half a hundred.
i wish i could just go. i don't care about my day starting off as a good one. i just want to go. i wish i wasn't here.
i didn't wish i wasn't here a few weeks ago but lately, i been wishing it.
i don't know what happened. i don't think anything did. my feelings of not wanting to be here just came.
"-now either you get up and wash yourself before your dad gets home on your own terms, or i'ma make you myself!"
i don't move. part of me wants to but that part of me don't got energy. just like the rest of me.
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593 words
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