- april 13th -
nyiah's point of view.. (chapter two..)
- praying to the sky - lil peep -
when i first got to high school, i didn't have to try hard to make some friends.
i always knew everybody in the neighborhood and this the only black high school in walking distance within the neighborhood.
when i got to high school my daddy told me i got involved with the wrong crowd but i ain't never stopped messing with them. i'm literally sitting at lunch with them now. they honestly not too bad.
fallon and kacey be fighting bitches for no reason, but that ain't my business. they're just messy.
rio like to rob niggas but that ain't got shit to do with me either. jeremiah really don't do shit, so that evens out everything in my option..
i mean, opinion. opinion look too much like option. it be messing me up sometimes.
anyway, i stab my grape with my nail and feed myself, using my other hand to play in chris hair. i look past rio and see aaliyah talking to her friends at they table.
they probably talking about books or sum shit. i like how smart she is. sometimes i wish i was just as smart as her. "i'm finna go say hi to aaliyah." i move chris off me and he gives me a look. "for what?"
"i haven't talked to her all day." i tell him and that's true. mostly because i was vaping in the bathroom all day, lying to the teachers talking 'bout i needed to talk to the guidance counselor.
"man, you ain't gotta talk to her ass." he scoffs. "just talk to me."
"i don't wanna talk to you. go talk to them other bitches you be talking to."
"since you giving me permission." he shrugs, and gets up, leaving the cafeteria.
i know chris talk to other girls but i don't truly consider him as my boyfriend so i don't care.
"y'all got problems." kacey tells me and i shrug, getting up and going to aaliyah table.
"scoot over. i wanna sit too." i tell her friend, joseph, and he does as told. now i'm sitting directly across from her and she ain't saying shit. she was so fucking talkative before i came over and that's really blowing me. "look at me." i hit the table with my nails.
aaliyah glares up at me, but then looks back down at the book she was reading, really paying me no mind.
"fine," i huff, getting up and pushing her down the bench so i can take a seat. i take a seat and she sighs heavily, turning her head away so she can't see me.
i yank on her hair and she turns around quickly, tryna hit me, but i immediately get up. "well, hi, i haven't seen you the whole day." i smile. "i missed you."
"well, i didn't miss you." she looks up at me.
biting down on my lip a lil, i nod. "okay, well now i take it back. i didn't miss you either."
she nods. "i'm fine with that." all nonchalant and stuff. she turns back to her book and i sigh. i stand there for the next few minutes just thinking.
i really dislike when i don't have her attention. i really dislike that she don't like me. i don't know why she don't, she just don't, and honestly that be tearing me apart.
why can't she just like me? why am i even trying so hard?
i step up and grab her face making her look at me. "where's your hand been?" she asks curiously and i furrow my eyebrows.
i just want her to treat me like a friend. i want her to like me. but why do i want her to like me?
before i can really think, i drop my hand and backhand her across her face.
joseph gasps and he looks at me, and that's when it really register that i forreal just slapped her.
it wasn't no little slap either. i actually just did that shit.
"bitch-" she tries to put her hands on me but i stumble away from her. "it's not that serious, aaliyah. i-i was just playing."
was i just playing though? when i usually hit her, i usually just be playing but this time i really wanted to make her hurt.
"but you literally just slapped me. how was that playing?" she walks toward me.
"alright, ladies. not today." trent, one of the security guards separates us. "go back to your tables."
aaliyah rolls her eyes and goes back to her table, while trent walks me back to mine. "don't get up until it's time to leave or i'm getting you suspended." he warns before walking off and i just sigh.
looking past rio big ass head, i watch some random bitch put her cold milk carton to aaliyah face tryna be all sweet. i didn't even slap her that hard.
"it's always something with you and that girl, niyah." fallon rolls her eyes. "i wish you just leave her ass alone."
my face falls and i start playing with the charm bracelet on my wrist to distract myself from the guilt.
this the bracelet chris got me when he forgot our anniversary. he told me he got it from pandora but this boy in my gym class told me his uncle sold it to chris for twenty dollars. it used to turn my wrist green but i just covered it in clear nail polish. "i didn't even do anything." i mumbled, not looking at them.
"you slapped her. i think i saw you pull her hair too." rio says.
"ok, well, she was tryna front like she don't know me. as if i don't exist or something." i snap, looking at them.
"i mean, i think she wishes you didn't exist. maybe she thinking if she manifest it hard enough yo ass just gon poof away." jeremiah laughs and fallon ass, who wanna fit in so bad, laugh right along with him.
"stop being so serious, man." jeremiah tells me, when he see the look on my face.
"ain't shit funny."
"girl, you gon be talking to her right after this so who even cares?" fallon shrugs. "don't y'all have a class together after this? make sure you apologize to her."
"i ain't doing shit. i'm done with her." i lie, getting on my phone.
i don't know what's wrong with me. i don't wanna hurt her and be mean but i don't know nothing else but that. i think i might got a bad tempter too.
also whenever people liked me we would always play fight and flirt and stuff like that.
that's only if i liked somebody though. i don't like aaliyah. i just wanna be her friend.
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