Ruthless Sweetness (SELF PUBLISHED)

11 # MEMORY LANE

IGLESIAS

I came from the base lastnight pretty late. It's morning now and I only slept 3 hours. Elvira is still sleeping and I'm suprised that her little friend woke up early. She's at the bathroom and I saw what room she got out from. So I went over to see how they filled this empty old room,I'm curious. I walk over to the room and lean on the door frame with ny arms crossed to my chest. My heart squeezed. Hard. Disgust and agony flushes through me so quickly and I can feel the blood draining throughout my face as I get pale. I cant move. My heartbeats are echoes in my chest and it's loud. Almost too loud. I hate this. So much my head is spinning with colors and memories that I tried to Bury away and not think of them.

Maria's room.

This was Maria's room ,my little sister. I remember leaning the same way I am right now over her door as I watched her showing me her flower collection and her pearls. They are still here. The pearls. I force myself to fight back the vomit I haven't been in this room for so long I always never dared to open it , cause if did. I will always always hear her voice. It would be either her screams. Or her laughter. Or he cries. And I didn't want to hear none of above. Because they killed her and I was naive. A coward I couldn't have done something about it immediately and save her life . I couldn't. That doesn't mean I won't make up for it.

That girl comes out the bathroom with a towel in her hand drying her hair with it "uhm goodmorning?" "Goodmorning. "
"What are you doing here , do you like my room or something?"
"Yeah I do. I'm suprised you didn't take the pearls out. Or the curtains " "nah I think they are cute " I force a smile and look at my shoes as I slip my hand in my pocket "you know..." She puts on a confused look. "This. This was my little sisters room." "Oh. im sorry does she want it back?"at this I laugh.
"No, it's yours now" "where is your sister now by the way" "I freeze. And my blood runs cold.
"She ..isn't around anymore."
"Ahhh" "How old is she "
It was a terrible mistake to mention my sister. I cant form the words to her saying that she's dead. That is the only thing that I can't do. I wish i could wipe her memory about me telling her about my sister because I am stuck. I don't know what to say I can't get myself to speak I dont want to carry this on I can't tell her that she's dead. She could have been 16 now liliana, just like you but no too bad because she died at 12. I cant say that , matter of fact I haven't said that fucked up sentence to anyone. I want her gone- "liliana..I've bought you some new clothes-oh and you said you wanted to see my room? You can see it now go!, I will catch up with you" "yess ugh finally I need to judge " Elvira smiles at her as she runs to our bedroom almost too exited. I'm glad elvira helped me. I wasn't handling that quite well and she heard. She heard what liliana asked and she knows.
I sigh as soon liliana left and drop my head in my hands "gosh..thank you." "Oh well goodmorning " "how are you elvira " she looks stunned. "I-uh im fine?" "So..it was her room ?" "Yeah. So long ago feels like yesterday " "im sorry" i drag and hand over my face "its not your fault." "Iglesias. I know how much you dont want to talk about this , its okay lets just brush it off and go downstairs shall we?" When im aroud her,my heart kicks into the calm zone. Automatically,she knows what makes me uncomfortable and she knows how to make the moment better
She looks effortlessly beautiful. Even in the morning with her hair a little messed up and her eyes still tired ,yet I can still see the spark in them, her eyes are absolutely gorgeous. Blue very dark blue that you have to put her in the sun to realise that they are blue .

i think i adore her,and it's suffocating me.

...

ELVIRA

I woke up. And When i did something caught my eye , the side next to me on the bed is rustled which can mean only one thing,Iglesias was here. And he slept here. And this time he woke up before me again.