I should be your Beta, not your Mate

Side-Story: 8

I was young and couldn't even tell if my feelings for Kyran were really something that would last forever. First love was always difficult and well, stupid and a bit childish.

But I wanted it to last. Wanted to have a future with him and not someone I would only meet because of a bond. I envied humans for their freedom of choosing.

I was terrified of whatever would come but I couldn't just let this go. My feelings mattered too and right now I had feelings for Kyran. If he rejected me it was another thing but... I couldn't know if he would reject me until I confessed.

The bell rang and we returned to our class. Time passed and I felt sick. My heart was beating so quickly, I felt like fainting. Maybe throwing up would help?

I rocked my leg up and down and Lucien shot me annoyed glances. He understood that I was nervous but I still annoyed him with it. It wasn't easy to annoy him which made it clear how nervous I really was.

I didn't even notice how the bell rang, I only woke from my daydreaming, or rather my panicking, when Kate kicked my chair and I slammed my head flat on the table. She giggled and hopped away.

»Good luck,« Lucien said in passing and patted my shoulder. »Thanks,« I mumbled under my breath and braced myself for whatever was coming.

Come on, move your ass, you cowardly idiot.

Kyran was still packing his bag and I left the classroom to wait for him outside.

Okay, how should I do this now? Just stop him and confess right here? Or ask him to go to another place and confess there? But where?

Lost in my panic, I didn't notice Ethan moving past me and entering our classroom. Only when I heard his loud greeting, I flinched.

»Ayo! Kyran! Coach asked for a meet-up with you and me. Captain and Co-Captain.«

No! Not now!

»Now?«

»Nah, he just wants us to meet in the next few days. A little talk because of the next competition. So, when do you have time?«

They left our classroom together and maybe didn't even notice me standing next to the door.

Should I... follow them?

»How about tomorrow?«

Kyran looked at his phone. »Why didn't Coach just send a text? God, why do we even have the group chat if not for something like that?« Ethan shrugged and crossed his arms behind his head.

»Dunno. You know the Coach. He is more of the eye-to-eye talker.«

»Tomorrow would be difficult,« Kyran said. »Beta Training. Dad is literally going to snap my neck if I skip again.«

Was I really following them? Oh shit, hopefully they wouldn't notice me. Was I obvious? If they noticed, should I just walk past them as if I wasn't following them?

»Come on. That was only one time and we really needed to go over our songs.«

»You don't need to tell me,« Kyran argued. »I know that four songs just didn't go well and we needed to go over them for hours to make them work. My voice was fucking hoarse the next day if you remember.«

Ethan chuckled. »The next competition is important, you know that as well as I. Coach properly only wants to make sure, we fire up the asses of our team.«

I couldn't see it because I was looking at their backs but something inside of me told me Kyran was rolling his eyes.

»They all already know that you will beat them up if they don't do their best,« Kyran grumbled. »Only because you don't do it, right, good cop?« Kyran snorted amused at the playful comment. »Yes, yes, bad cop.«