I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE FUNNY | ✓

▬ 15

KEEP YOUR STUPID LIFE TO YOURSELF

            I rap my fingers against the hardback of Black Unicorn as I force myself onto Miles's doorstep. I've been talking myself up to do this for the past hour and a half but every time I step outside, I end up running back in. I have to fight the urge to do so even as I ring the doorbell, and then every second after.

Nothing. A minute later, I'm still standing alone on the doorstep, curling my toes in my flip-flops. No one is home. Why does this have to happen to me? God thinks They're so funny. Well, my parents, unfortunately, did raise a quitter and if I don't succeed at the first attempt, I'll never try again. Well... in everything except–

The door opens. Suddenly, I'm looking down at Miles's mother. There are bags under her eyes, which are dull, and though she's over a head shorter than me, I'm terrified. Did I wake her up? This literally couldn't get any worse.

'Sorry, wrong house.'

I'm off their property before I can realise how stupid of an excuse that is. I know every single house in this neighbourhood. Idiot.

I spring up the stairs into my room, thankful that Baba isn't home to come pry about my admittedly ridiculous behaviour, and beeline to the window. Their door is shut, Miles's mum retreated into the house. But their car isn't in the garden. Is Miles driving it? I thought he was seventeen: his birthday's in July. Or maybe I'm misremembering and it's actually in January, it's not like I care.

I drop onto my bed and allow my eyes to lose focus until I'm alerted by the thud of car doors. I spring to my window to see Iris bolt inside, leaving the passenger door open. Miles kicks it shut as he passes it, balancing four bags of groceries.

He disappears into the house and I slump against my faux windowsill. I can't go now. His mum is still home. And he's busy anyway. Why did I think this was a good idea?

Mostly because I can't get my body to move now that it has settled, I open Northern Lights. I'm seven chapters in when I catch movement below. Miles runs out of his house and I jolt upright much faster than my spine would like. I ow ow ow my way down the stairs, shove on my trainers, and bolt after him.

The backs of both shoes are bent to rub against my heel. Rather than waste time fixing them, I take them off and run barefoot, which is easy on the tarmac, but the gravel path is quite a different story. Thankfully, I've caught up enough to call after him. I try wait! first and when he doesn't hear, use his name. On the third attempt, he finally stops. Pulling his earphones out, Miles looks around and spots me.

I hunch over to catch my breath, pressing a free hand to the stitch in my side. When he realises my condition, he starts to walk over rather than wait for me, which is intensely humiliating, so I cram my feet into my trainers and meet him halfway despite being out of breath.

Trees hug us and into a sphere of green. We're the only people here. We're the only people in the world.

I hold out the books, refusing to look higher than Miles's chest. 'I got these for you.'

His hand is hesitant to reach but his voice is sweet. 'Ta, love — fuck, sorry. I know you don't like it when I call you that.'

'What makes you think that?' I snap, still staring at his hands. Holding the books against his lap, his knuckles push out. Veins are just visible beneath his tan, blue rivers that course through the valleys.

'You look like you want to murder me,' he says with an attempted chuckle before his amusement evaporates. He lifts the books. 'Wait... you've not got a library card.'