Broken, Grave

Nomzamo

In and out, I breathed as I lay in the bed, staring at the wall in front of me. My heart pounded in my chest, my stomach squeezed and I knew that this was a bad idea but I had no other choice. It was late at night, well, early in the morning, 1:24, it read on the clock beside me. I’d been trying to lay as still as possible for over an hour now, to make sure that Nico really fell asleep. I could feel his arm around my waist, holding me close to him. 

I breathed, in and out, staring at the clock as I convinced myself that it was now or never. I watched as the clock switched to 1:25, and when it did I shut my eyes and prayed for a second. 

Yiba nami Jehovah, I prayed. (Be with me Jehovah)

With that last prayer, I gripped the blanket, slowly throwing it off me. I turned my body to look at Nico who had his face buried in the pillow. His chest moved up and down slowly and he hadn’t moved an inch for the past hour. I bit my lip, feeling my heart pound so loud, I was afraid it would wake him. I took the hand he’d thrown over me and slowly moved it off me, putting it back on the bed. 

I slowly shimmied off the bed, keeping my eyes on his figure and when he didn’t move, I stood up straight. I didn’t care to put on a pair of slippers, I simply walked on my tip toes, heading towards the closed bedroom door. I opened the door, still keeping my eyes on Nico’s unmoving figure. I stood in the doorway for just a moment to see if he’d stir but he didn’t, and the moment I conjured up enough spirit, I slowly stepped out and closed the door very slowly behind me. As the door fell into place, I didn’t waste any time, and sprinted on my tippy toes down the long hallway. 

I had spent the last day walking up and down the halls of the home, getting used to his wing of the house and found my way to the second storey of his wing. I wasn’t allowed to go to the ground storey, and I didn’t know how to get there. But on the second storey of the home was a spare bedroom with a balcony that overlooked the vineyard. It was a far drop down, but at least it wasn’t on the third storey of the home like his bedroom so I had no choice but to make sure that I’d be able to jump down. 

I ran down the stairs, looking over my shoulder with each step. It felt so much like he’d appear at any moment and ruin it all. It felt like as I ran, I’d suddenly feel the curl of his fingers on my clothes, dragging me back to his room. I knew that if he caught me now, he’d make me pay and at this point, I was desperate enough to risk it. I needed to get the hell out of here, and there was no other way other than to throw myself off that balcony and sprint. I had no cell phone, I wasn’t allowed out of the home unless it was Nico taking me, and there was no contact with the outside world. This was my only option. 

I ran down the second hallway and found the frosted glass door that led into the spare bedroom. I opened it and entered the room, not closing the door because I just needed to get out of here and I didn’t plan on being long. I ran into the room and headed for the double sided doors. I grabbed the key that I’d managed to hide under one of the pillows and walked over to the doors. I slid the keys into the lock and turned it, unlocking the door. I placed my hand on the knob, about to turn it, “where are you going, my liefde?” I suddenly heard. I gasped, whirling my head around to find Nico standing in the doorway. 

He was dressed in only a grey pair of sweatpants, his hair was dishevelled and all over the place, and he had two very visible hickeys on his neck. He reached for the light switch and flicked it, flooding the room with light as I gripped the door handles and turned it, slowly opening the door as I kept my front facing him. I took a single step back, keeping my eyes on his steel blue ones. 

“Ni-Nico,” I breathed out fearfully and in surprise. “What…what are y-you…when-when did you…wake up?” 

His steel blue eyes were locked onto mine and I shivered in fright of what he would do to me. “What are you going to do, liefde? Throw yourself over that balcony and break your neck? Don’t be silly,” he tusked, “come on, let’s go to bed.” He said as if it was wishful thinking what I was planning to do.