Broken, Grave

Precious

I fidgeted with the Chanel purse on my lap, my eyes hidden behind black shades and a large hat that I was using to conceal my face. The cheap chair that I was sat on provided very little comfort for me as I looked around the room, watching as other people sat at the other tables, conversing and smiling and laughing. 

Goodness…what the hell am I doing here? I thought to myself as I took in another breath, dragging my eyes around the room. I watched as the door that led into the room opened and a man dressed in scrubs walked through first with a woman following behind him. The woman was dressed in a blue hospital gown. The woman had dirty blonde hair that was long and unkempt, and it resembled a bird’s nest on her head as if she pulled on it and slept carelessly. There were dark circles around her eyes and she had scratch marks all over her face, as if she scratched her face any chance that she got. 

Her eyes were on me and even with the shades on, it felt like she could see right through the façade that I was putting up. The man led her to my table, “Rosita, this is Precious, she came to visit you. She says she’s family,” the man said to her and Rosita didn’t even glance at him, she only looked at me. 

She scoffed, looking me up and down, “yeah…family,” she repeated. 

The man nodded and we both watched as she took a seat across from me at the table that I sat at. I swallowed nervously and then looked at the man, wanting to ask him if I was safe. “I’ll be standing right over there,” he informed, as he turned on his heels and walked to the other side of the room, then looked at us from the distance. 

My eyes were back on Rosita who was already watching me and hadn’t taken her eyes off me. I cleared my throat, my fingers clutching onto the purse even tighter. How was I supposed to start this? Rosita was Bertus’ ex-wife, and as far as I’m aware their 35 year marriage ended because of me and it drove her to madness. Genevieve gave me the run-down of everything, she told me how Bertus had broken Rosita and then after all of those years, just threw her to the side like she was nothing and had meant nothing to him. 

How do I stand before a woman that I’ve played a part in ruining? 

“Hey…” I finally managed to let out in a low voice, unable to keep her stare as I looked at her face and their scratches instead. It fell silent again because I didn’t know what to say. Suddenly, the black turtle neck that I was wearing began to feel suffocating as I sat there, feeling the burning intensity and hatred behind her orbs directly on me. I don’t blame her for hating me, she wouldn’t be the first. “I just…I guess, I don’t- I don’t know what to say.” I finally let out, reaching for my shades and removing them from my eyes so that she could see into my eyes. 

I’d ruined her life, the least I could do was face the fire behind those orbs head on and let it burn at me. 

“So, I finally meet the little bitch that’s been running around with my husband,” her voice and words were poisonous, her eyes turning as cold as lightning as she glared at me, her hands curling into fists. “You ruined my fucking life, you fucking slut. Bertus met you and it was like…I never existed. I gave him everything, Precious,” she said my name with a cold drawl as if mocking it, “do you have any idea the hell that man put me through?” she leaned into the table, peering into my eyes as if she wanted me to know all there was that led her to here. 

“I was a virgin when I met him, a young girl, and I had dreams. I was happy too, I was innocent, untouched, and devoted to God. Then he came along and he…Bertus fucked me up. When I tried to run away and he found me, he gave me a gun and told me to point it directly in the middle of my sister’s forehead, and kill her. Or else, he was going to burn her alive, and you know what I did?” her voice came out cold as if relieving the memory was simply stating fact A and fact B. “I pulled that fucking trigger and I killed my 11 year old baby sister, because of Bertus,” she said with a laugh, shaking her head.