Lokius Oneshots By Kiera

Panic Attacks in Paradise- REPOSTED

Title: Panic Attacks in Paradise
Song: "Panic Attacks in Paradise" by Ashnikko

TW// Mentions of Self-Harm, Trust Issues, Panic Attack, Mentions of mental illness

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

It had been three years since Loki had seen Mobius. Three years since they helped the Avengers defeat Kang. Loki had decided to go off on his own for a while to try and get his head in the right place, to try and heal his wounded heart and broken soul.

He had gone to a really dark place after Sylvie's betrayal. He had sunk into a depression worse than anything he'd ever experienced, and that misery he was experiencing made him the perfect victim for Mr Misery, a twisted, ruined corpse of a variant Dr Strange that was possessed by the souls of the damned and became sorrow incarnate, and started feeding off of the misery of the living people of Earth 616. He got into Loki's mind and made him feel more miserable than he ever had before. It was Mobius, however, that pulled him out of Mr Misery's clutches, and saved him from his own tortured mind. Loki doesn't quite think he'd still be here if it weren't for Mobius' stubborn persistence to not let Loki go like that.

Now, Loki's standing on a beach in Malibu, looking out at the bright blue ocean and the stunning sunset as the sun slowly sunk below the horizon. The palm trees swayed gently in the summer breeze, the smell of salty sea air filling Loki's senses as he headed up towards Mobius' beach house.

Loki walked up to the back door from the deck, hesitating before going to knock on the sliding glass door. Loki's hand froze in midair as he saw Sylvie sitting on the couch, reading some fashion magazine in a green one piece bathing suit. Loki felt like he couldn't breathe, his voice was stuck in his throat. He'd never wanted see her again, not after what she did to him. She broke his heart, she made him hate himself all over again so much that he started cutting himself again for the first time in years just to try and cope. Loki couldn't get away from that house fast enough. He had left before he got the chance to see that Sylvie was there with Mobius' friend Hunter B-15 from the TVA, who they had taken to calling Bea. Loki didn't know that Sylvie and Bea were dating now. He also didn't know that Mobius had been waiting for him all this time, waiting for the day when Loki came back from his self-healing journey.

Loki collapsed to his knees in the sand, psychologically, emotionally and physically overwhelmed. While Loki was traveling, he decided it would be a good idea to see a therapist. He had been struggling with his anxiety, and he needed help. He was diagnosed with C-PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. He didn't have a lot of triggers, but his worst one was Sylvie. Even just hearing Sylvie's name was enough to trigger an anxiety attack. So now, Loki is full on hyperventilating, sitting in the sand and sobbing like a child. He tugged on his hair, pulling a little of it out and letting it fall to the sand. Loki was so overwhelmed by his emotions, he didn't hear Mobius talking to him.

"Loki! Stop, you're hurting yourself." Mobius says, holding Loki's wrists and making him stop pulling his hair. "What's wrong?"

"Why would you care? You've got Sylvie, why would you need me?" Loki says angrily, shoving Mobius away.

"Loki, what are you taking about? I'm not dating Sylvie, she's engaged to Bea." Mobius says, trying to calm Loki down.

"What?" Loki says in confusion. "Then why was she on your couch in a bathing suit?"

"I offered to let her take my Jet ski out for a spin, just as long as she doesn't crash it. Again." Mobius says, earning a small chuckle and half a smile from Loki. "I don't like her much either, Loki, but I'm nice to her for Bea's sake."

"I get it, and I'm sorry I reacted like that. I just can't handle my emotions sometimes." Loki says softly. "I have Complex PostTraumatic Stress Disorder. And Borderline Personality Disorder. I got diagnosed two years ago."

"Oh." Mobius says quietly in surprise. "Wow, I had no idea, Loki."

"You think I'm crazy." Loki says quietly, shaking his head.

"No, I'd never think that, Loki. You're my best friend, and I love you. I promise, I'm not going anywhere, and no matter how hard it gets, I'll never think you're crazy, because you'll always be the person I fell in love with." Mobius says, holding Loki's hands in his. "I love you, Loki."

"Oh, Mobius." Loki sobbed, resting his head on Mobius' shoulder. "I love you, too."

"Whatever you need, Loki, I'm always going to be right here. I promise." Mobius, wrapping an arm around Loki's waist and rubbing gentle circles into his back.

"I just... I just want to sleep. Could you maybe...stay with me while I sleep?" Loki says softly, vulnerably.

"Of course, Loki." Mobius says warmly. "I'll stay with you forever."

§