I should be your Beta, not your Mate

Side-Story: 5

He stood with his back to me and I just took in his sight. His charming back muscles that could still be seen under his shirt. His fluffy hair. And just him. Him and his wonderful scent.

Maybe I was dead. Bled out on the fucking public bathroom floor. But it was worth it if this was the afterlife.

My Mate who loved me and cooked for me, though I would love to help. Him and me together. Living together. Having a life together.

If this was the real world, I would still believe it was a dream or the afterlife.

»Your father left two hours ago after checking on you. He said you just needed sleep and rest but I still couldn't stop worrying.«

A dream, totally a dream. I was dead, for sure.

Smiling to myself I watched him some more. Listened to his voice that sounded a bit exhausted.

He turned to me when the soup only needed to boil a bit longer and our eyes met. His eyes were so beautiful. His face was so handsome. His body... breathtaking.

I didn't want to talk about love before but now... I loved him. Fuck, I was so goddamn deeply in love with this man.

»What're you grinning about all by yourself?« Casimir asked and walked over to me. He sat on the ground next to me because there was no space on the couch.

I stared into his eyes, quiet and longing. Please, just let this be a dream. Let me stay here. Let me see him a bit longer.

»You...«

He cocked his head. »Me? Me what?«

»Just you.«

He smiled softly. Dimples showed when he did that. I wanted to kiss them. And the little wrinkles under his eyes that always showed when he smiled so heavenly soft. I wanted to kiss those lips. Those hungry lips that swallowed me whole when we made out.

When we kissed it wasn't always soft and sweet. Sometimes he buried me under his body and kissed me breathless. His tongue twisting my own, playing with it, teasing. I wanted that, but I couldn't.

I couldn't ask of him to bury me with his full weight and just kiss me - fuck me. Damn, I wanted to be fully his. Fulfill a bond that he never asked to be part of. Why was I born with this stupid other side of me? If I was human, everything would have been easier.

»Why are you crying, love...?«

I flinched. Not because of the wetness on my cheeks but because he had called with a pet name. We had never used those. But I couldn't stop my heart from yearning for more of those names.

Gently he twined our fingers together and kissed my fingers. »We need to talk.«

The day I dreaded had come and the hope that this was a dream popped like a balloon. If I wasn't so stiff I would jump up and run out of his apartment, like I did that day.

»Just... Just listen to me first. You can always say something but just let me talk right now,« he pleaded and clenched his fingers around my hand as if he feared I would disappear.

He took in a shaky breath and squeezed his eyes shut.

»Both of my parents are humans but they were always befriended with the Alpha-family that adopted me after their death. My parents died in a car crash... and it was caused by some rogues that were on the hunt or I don't know. Kenny always gave the rogues the fault for their death because they kind of are. But he accused all wolves without a pack to be responsible.«

I listened, though my heart was tightening painfully.

»After their death, Kenny and Keila took me in and I grew up like I was part of their pack. I had everything, except of course the shapeshifting and the bond to the pack. Still, I was considered to be a part of them. I hung out with pack members at school, most of my friends were wolves, even my first boyfriend was a wolf. Though we both got scolded pretty badly by Kenny because of the soulmate thing. We never did anything, we were kids, but we were still crushing stupidly on each other.«