Gold Dust Woman- Lip Gallagher

debbie stole a baby

"It's Debbie," Fiona said.

"Did not see that coming," Lip said, "Can't we just give it back?"

"Wish we could. It's too late now," Steve said.

Come to think of it, I saw cop cars and heard sirens all over the place. Maybe there was an amber alert? If so, it wasn't looking good for Debbie.

"Find Carl and Blake and get home. Now!"

_____________________________________________________

Ten minutes later, we returned with the boys and sat at the kitchen table with Debbie.

"We need to get your story straight for the police," Fiona said, "Why did you take the boy?"

"He was crying for his mom, and his mom wasn't around," Debbie said honestly. 

"Did you try and find his mom?"

"No, he was crying, and nobody cared. So, I took him."

"You can't say that! What's wrong with you?!" Fi said, annoyed as Steve tried to calm her down.

"You know what, Debs? Was he inside or outside of the yard when you took him?" Lip asked.

"Inside."

"Okay," I said, "Then, how'd you get him out?"

"I waved a Snickers bar at him!"

Fi shook her head and put her hands over her face.

"Did anybody see you?" Ian asked.

"I don't think so," she said, "We just ran."

"That wasn't suspicious!" Fi said.

"So, you were running down the street-

"I used a stroller."

"What stroller?" Fiona said.

"Liam's old one."

"The one I told you to throw out?"

"I fixed it! For emergencies."

Someone banged on the door. We hesitated, worrying it was the police.

"Open up! Hurry!" 

We sighed out of relief when we heard V's voice. 

"What the hell is going on?" 

"Is this that missing kid?!" Kev said.

"Debbie stole him," Fi explained, "And now we have to figure out how to get him back without getting her 36 months in juvie."

"Why in the world would she steal-

Fiona gave V a look. 

"There must be a couple hundred cops out there," Kev said.

"I know. I'm so sorry," Fi said, "Debs. Will you watch him for a second?"

The rest of us went into the living room. 

"I'm not sure what's going on with her," Fiona said, clearly worried.

"Well, maybe it's because your mom bailed, and Frank's a big drunk," Kev said, gaining a what the fuck look from V, "What, I'm the asshole now? She stole a baby!"

"She's also ten!!" I said, "Like you didn't do crazy shit at that age!"

"Alright, look, she obviously planned it," Lip said, "I mean, she took a stroller out of the garbage and fixed it."

"Debbie's still a little kid," Steve said, "The worst thing that happens is she gets some help."

"Help?" Lip said.

"What kind of help?" Ian said.

"Here we go," I said, sensing their defensive tones immediately. The whole family was super opposed to therapy, even though they all needed it. 

"She stole a baby," Steve said.

"She's not crazy," Fiona defended her, "She sort of accidentally took a kid."

"Fi, she lured him out of the yard with a candy bar," Steve said.

"What are you suggesting?!"

"Some kind of professional-

"What, a shrink?" Lip said.

"Gallaghers do not do therapy," Fiona said flatly. 

We heard Tony make an announcement outside about the boy, whose name was Casey Casden.

"Guys, we're running out of time," I said.

"Lip, we need a plan to get that boy back to his family," Fiona said, "Or family services is gonna have a field day."

"Family services?" Steve said.

"If they find out Frank's moved, they'll take the kids. Split 'em up. Remember what happened last time?"

It was a few months ago, and CPS came and split the family up. Debbie and Carl were put in a home with a black family, Lip was with an old couple, and the husband was on dialysis, Ian was with a Christian family, and Liam was with some smelly weirdo. 

So, we devised a plan. After getting Debbie's story straight, making a few calls, and showing up staggered to the Casden's neighborhood, we were all in the clear. Of course, Frank, being right across the street, stuck his nose in and tried to get all the money thrown at Debbie, but Lip and Ian stopped him.

I'm just glad everything worked out.